Episode summary: Battling with mental illness, addiction and past trauma isn’t something we should take lightly yet, WE do this with ourselves all the time. Eric and I discuss how he’s worked through addiction, ADHD, and running from problems to now having an understanding of himself and how to best operate.
Guest Name & Bio: We asked Eric about himself. Here’s what he said…
“I have loved cars for as long as I can remember. When I was 14 years old I made my first purchase of a Yamaha dirt bike for $500. I was able to enjoy that for a few months and then sold it back to the original owner for more than I paid for it.
I was hooked.
I started studying prices and market adjustments from an early age. I have always loved shopping for cars, and many friends and relatives would consult me or ask me to go shopping with them as a buffer or for my help. I eventually turned that into a business. Phoenix Preferred .
The deck has always been stacked against the consumer in purchasing or leasing a new and used car.
I wanted to even out that deck. I have created a business where an individual has more power buying a car than even a buying service has.
I treat each client individually and get to them and their wants and needs.
To be able to bring a personal touch to the service large buying services just can’t. A recent success story, I had a client that wanted to turn in a lease early. They thought they would just turn it in and walk away. I was able to turn that into $8000 with a couple of phone calls.”
EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION
[Nick McGowan]: Eric Bell. thank you for being on the show with me today. How you doing man? [Eric Bell]: thanks, Nick. It’s uh, really good. It was really good to hear from you. I’m doing [Eric Bell]: really well today. Thank you. [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, well, I’m glad that you’re here to give a little bit of context Uh to [Nick McGowan]: the audience. Uh, Eric Bell and I have known each other for [Nick McGowan]: six years, six or seven years. Something like that, which seems a little wild [Nick McGowan]: To think it. that it’s been that long already. Um. He and I met each other [Nick McGowan]: when we were in a networking group in Southeastern P. A, uh, we were both kind [Nick McGowan]: of in the beginning stages of that group. it grew. I think from fifteen [Nick McGowan]: members, the forty members or something like that. Uh, and we struck up a bit [Nick McGowan]: of a friendship. Did some work together. He actually helped me with a car, and [Nick McGowan]: we’ll get into that in a little bit. but Eric Bell. can you just tell us one thing [Nick McGowan]: that you do for a living, and one thing that most people don’t know about you? [Eric Bell]: sure. so uh, what I am is, I’m an uh, a buyers agent, a broker for automobile, So [Eric Bell]: people don’t have to go into the dealership and get amazing deals. And I’ been thinking [Eric Bell]: so hard about what. What somebody doesn’t know about me is such an open book. you [Eric Bell]: know, Um, and I think I’ll have to say something that my wife doesn’t really know. So [Eric Bell]: we actually watch multiple seasons of Drags together. Um, and I’ve always given the [Eric Bell]: uh, uh, given her the [Eric Bell]: facade that you know whatever we watch it Because you want to watch. Love the [Eric Bell]: show. [Eric Bell]: It’s it’s It’s funny. it’s camp Be, it’s everything it’s supposed to be, but I’ve [Eric Bell]: never gone out and say Hey, Lets watch drag. Ra [Eric Bell]: says it so she’ll She’ll find that interesting when she W. when she hears this [Nick McGowan]: You’ll probably find this interesting because when you said drag race, I [Nick McGowan]: thought of drag racing like cars. [Eric Bell]: right, right right, Ru, Pauls, drag race. [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, and as you talk through that, I’m like. I don’t think your wife is going [Nick McGowan]: to be into the actual drag racing, but I guess drag racing. [Eric Bell]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: Okay, Fair enough. [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: Yes, so that is one thing that at least I did know and I’m sure other people [Nick McGowan]: didn’t really know [Eric Bell]: and my wife doesn’t even know it, but she will now. so [Nick McGowan]: You’re welcome. This is where it comes out on a podcast. [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: So you’re a personal car shopper. How the heck did you get into that? [Eric Bell]: wow, uh, that’s such a long story. Um, so I’ve been into cars. I was a stereotypical [Eric Bell]: kid, you know, played with my little hot wheels and stuff a as a kid, and um [Eric Bell]: it just was. I have always had this dream of owning I. My first dream was to own Night [Eric Bell]: rider, of course, you know, and that was never going to happen, but I, I wanted to own [Eric Bell]: a black transam with a black semi-truck and a black helicopter. You know, it was just [Eric Bell]: weird dreams. Um. But you know once when he started becoming, when I started, uh, I [Eric Bell]: guess growing up and becoming an adult, Uh, and actually learning that you can’t own [Eric Bell]: things like that unless you’re super rich, Um. I, I started trading for vehicles [Eric Bell]: and my first trade was with a motorcycle, Wzy, uh, one, twenty five from a friend’s [Eric Bell]: brother, [Eric Bell]: and I drove that for a few months, and then sold it back to him for a profit, and [Nick McGowan]: what? [Eric Bell]: then turn that into my next vehicle And I was like, You know, if I can do this each [Eric Bell]: time I can, I, I would really like that, so eventually, at fourteen, up to sixteen I [Eric Bell]: was going to auto auctions when I was seventeen, you know, Bu. I bought a police car [Eric Bell]: at one point in my life, [Eric Bell]: a Texas Department of Transportation, Uh, patrol, not patrol car, but um, uh, camero [Eric Bell]: pursuit car. [Nick McGowan]: Oh, wow, [Eric Bell]: So I owned that for a little while, Um, and then would just go to an auction, buy a [Eric Bell]: car. sell it and just fell in love with doing that. And [Eric Bell]: you know as at a young age, whenever I became an adult, Uh, I would always be [Eric Bell]: the one people would call or want my opinions, or go shopping with them. And so I’ve [Eric Bell]: I’ve done it my entire life. I was just always that guy people would call and about. I [Eric Bell]: guess we’re going to go on twelve years ago. Um. I was going through a really bad [Eric Bell]: divorce, Uh, separating from my uh, first wife. [Eric Bell]: Um, and she, [Eric Bell]: I had to do something that was going to fill my pole in my soul, my life that I didn’t [Eric Bell]: know what was what it was going to do, and I decided I was going to try to make money [Eric Bell]: doing [Eric Bell]: Uh that on the side, just helping people buy cars. And it progressively, there’s a lot [Eric Bell]: more into that story with my ex-wife, and stuff that I don’t know if we have time [Eric Bell]: to really go into. But I started it and it just kind of rolled into [Eric Bell]: Uh, a full business. you know it. It started with one. Uh, went into three, went into [Eric Bell]: nine. Went, you know, it just kind of [Eric Bell]: multiplied from there. Uh, had some life happen along the way? Um, [Eric Bell]: but you know over twelve years later it’s [Eric Bell]: become something that I earn a pretty good living where I’m doing better than I [Eric Bell]: was when I was in the corporate world, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: but Uh still has a lot to grow. So [Nick McGowan]: Sure, and I [Eric Bell]: yeah, I [Nick McGowan]: appreciate that you are ever evolving and you’re constantly working on [Nick McGowan]: yourself and you’re working on the business and doing it in a right way [Nick McGowan]: without driving yourself crazy. But let’s take a little bit of a step back. So [Eric Bell]: right way, try yourself crazy. a little bi of a step back [Nick McGowan]: when you got the divorce [Nick McGowan]: and you needed to find that thing, I stand what [Eric Bell]: course. Yeah, needed to like that. See, [Nick McGowan]: you’re talking about recently have gone through a divorce myself and I guess [Eric Bell]: Understand what you talking [Eric Bell]: so, and I guess the is one of those things. Yes, um, [Nick McGowan]: the podcast is one of those things. [Nick McGowan]: But what was it that actually led you to the car? Like? what was it about that [Eric Bell]: what was it about that you like find something to do. That’s not right. [Nick McGowan]: that you were like? I need to find something to do that’s not destructive. [Eric Bell]: so, um, I, I was in my previous life. Also, I was in corporate retail management, [Eric Bell]: Uh, and it was something that. Um, you know the grind of the AmEric Bellan workforce right. [Eric Bell]: It’s the same thing in and out every day, um, [Eric Bell]: uh, the corporate world that wants you to do everything for them, but doesn’t really do [Eric Bell]: anything for you. Uh, I was really good at what I did. I was always in the top ten of [Eric Bell]: the entire company, as far as stats, and everything goes, has multiple awards, but it [Eric Bell]: wasn’t fulfilling anymore. [Nick McGowan]: H. [Eric Bell]: and one thing that happened when my life blew up. Uh, I wanted to find that something [Eric Bell]: that would make me happy ’cause I had been doing this, Even in my relationship. I [Eric Bell]: was just doing the same things to put on the facade of the American dream. you [Nick McGowan]: mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: know, wife, two cars house, you know, whatever, No kids, but um, [Eric Bell]: uh, just that [Eric Bell]: what I thought I wanted to be, And then when my life, you know, blew up or was blowing [Eric Bell]: up, Um, it was one of those Come to Jesus moments, you know, as as you might say, as [Eric Bell]: some people might say, And [Eric Bell]: it was you know, I, I B. Put, I put it on paper, and my first wife actually helped me [Eric Bell]: put it on paper. [Nick McGowan]: H. [Eric Bell]: the name of the company and all that stuff. And then I was like Oh, I’m going to make [Eric Bell]: this happens. [Eric Bell]: And [Eric Bell]: what happened was I started doing it. I noticed that it could actually be done. You [Eric Bell]: know, I was doing it on the side. I was getting some sort of traction. You know, it [Eric Bell]: would come in spurts, but you know it’d have three or four automatically. Then you go [Eric Bell]: a month with No, and then five or six would happen and it was really exciting as it [Eric Bell]: went along. You know, helping people go through the car buying process and getting [Eric Bell]: paid for it, you know, [Eric Bell]: and [Eric Bell]: Ne O. During this all th this entire time, I was doing it part time, still working at [Eric Bell]: my job, but I wasn’t getting fulfilled from that job, but I was getting fulfilled from [Eric Bell]: this, and eventually that corporation noticed I wasn’t doing anything anymore. No, I [Eric Bell]: was doing just barely enough to survive. Um. and one day, uh, my boss walked through [Eric Bell]: the door was unannounced so I was like. Well, this is it. I know what’s going to happen [Eric Bell]: now because your boss doesn’t show up Un announced unless you’re getting fired right? [Eric Bell]: Um, [Eric Bell]: and where they di? I don’t think they necessarily had grounds to fire me. Uh, they. ▁ [Eric Bell]: did let me go with all my p. t, o time and accrued vacation time, so I got a nice [Eric Bell]: little check for Um, five figures to leave. [Eric Bell]: so I took that check and I said Well, I’m going to officially start Phoenix Preferred [Eric Bell]: And it’s it stayed that Phoenix preferred since the beginning, and I’ll get into where [Eric Bell]: the title of the company comes from, too, because that has its own story. Um, but I [Eric Bell]: took that and ran with it and quickly began growing. Uh, but then we have some life [Eric Bell]: issues that came into Um, happen to why it didn’t continue to grow, [Nick McGowan]: mhm. [Eric Bell]: But we probably will get in that uh, a little bit later. but yeah, [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, I think there’s a lot of people that uh, really like to have whatever [Nick McGowan]: their side hustle is or whatever [Eric Bell]: right, [Nick McGowan]: their passion project is, And that [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: passion project of that side hustle can absolutely turn into a full-fledged [Nick McGowan]: business, and your prime example [Eric Bell]: absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, [Nick McGowan]: of that I’ve had that happen to me in the past. I do think [Nick McGowan]: that there is a balance, though you know you’ve got to be able to be balanced [Eric Bell]: yeah. [Nick McGowan]: within your job that you have, and within the company that you have. You [Eric Bell]: Yes, [Nick McGowan]: got to balance yourself too. So [Eric Bell]: you. yes, [Nick McGowan]: how could you manage? How did you manage your mindset through that To be able [Nick McGowan]: to [Eric Bell]: I, I did not, [Nick McGowan]: understand that. Oh fair enough. [Eric Bell]: I. I. I didn’t [Nick McGowan]: Hence why you are kind of watching and waiting for them to come fire. You [Eric Bell]: well, um, [Eric Bell]: yeah, I, I, I, [Eric Bell]: so i, [Eric Bell]: um, [Eric Bell]: so I am eighty-eighty h, D, um, [Eric Bell]: or a d, d, [Nick McGowan]: look squirrel, [Eric Bell]: eighty h, D, I believe is, is is what the official Um [Eric Bell]: diagnosis is, Uh, and I’m [Eric Bell]: bipolar too, [Eric Bell]: which means Um. It’s very difficult for me to pay attention to one thing, all of. for [Eric Bell]: a long period of time I get bored really quickly. I also suffer from uh, depression [Eric Bell]: episodes and manic episodes, so [Eric Bell]: uh, it’s all treated now. I’m doing much better as far as those um diagnoses are are [Eric Bell]: uh, as far as they are a factor, [Eric Bell]: but uh, being in it [Eric Bell]: and not knowing [Eric Bell]: what’s going on with my brain and being all over the place. Just I need to do this. I [Eric Bell]: need to do that. I need to do multiple different things. It. It did take its toll on [Eric Bell]: on me physically and emotionally. so [Eric Bell]: Um, [Eric Bell]: knowing I, the beautiful thing about Phoenix preferred is I did love to do it. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: so even M in a manic or depressive state or even a h. D. I loved to do it, so I would [Eric Bell]: continue to do it, But that didn’t mean my personal life didn’t suffer for it, so I [Eric Bell]: kind of put all my everything in all my eggs in that work basket and kind of let [Eric Bell]: everything else fall apart. [Eric Bell]: So, [Eric Bell]: um, and then, when all that that you did? Yes, Yes, did that. So it? [Eric Bell]: um, and then, when all that that you did? Yes, Yes, did that. So it? [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, you keep saying that you did that. [Nick McGowan]: You keep saying that you did that. So when you did that now here you are. You [Nick McGowan]: have gone through that. What does that look like? Um, being able to reflect [Eric Bell]: yes, what does that like be able to reflect that well, it’s a learning experience. you [Nick McGowan]: back on that, [Eric Bell]: know. I. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: I would have if I wouldn’t have gone through that. I would have never known that, uh, [Eric Bell]: um, I was an alcoholic. I was as a drug addict. I was a d, H, D, and bipolar, too. You [Eric Bell]: know, all that came flushed out over the last. [Eric Bell]: I mean, as far as the last two things, I only learned those in the last four years, [Eric Bell]: The other [Nick McGowan]: Hm, [Eric Bell]: other things I learned back in two thousand seven. But and yes, I I learned a. I was [Eric Bell]: an alcoholic and drug addict and two thousand seven. I didn’t really try to do. I. I, [Eric Bell]: and I was sober in two thousand and seven. Uh, but it kind of had a really bad life. [Eric Bell]: Ex experience happened in two thousand ten. As you know, uh, and things happened and [Eric Bell]: my life fell apart again. Uh, after even after Phoenix preferred was there, So I kind [Eric Bell]: of went workaholic for a while, [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, do you think you did that as a coping mechanism? [Eric Bell]: so yeah, that is a coping. absolutely. yeah. yeah, uh, I never grieved the loss of my [Eric Bell]: first wife. I just [Eric Bell]: went straight into work and working out. Uh, I was in the best shape of my life for about [Eric Bell]: three years after my well, actually, like, at the end of my relationship I started [Eric Bell]: working out. I, I lost like probably forty pounds. I. I. I was looking at old [Eric Bell]: pictures. I saw a picture and it was just I was just. I couldn’t believe how muscular [Eric Bell]: I was and I still saw myself as a big guy. Um. [Eric Bell]: but I, I worked out. I worked and I dated as soon as the Uh. my wife and I split, so [Nick McGowan]: Hm, [Eric Bell]: I never really [Eric Bell]: felt that [Nick McGowan]: yeah, [Eric Bell]: loss. I never worked on that loss. I never grieved Um, Which in sobriety, you’re [Eric Bell]: supposed to have your feelings, you’re supposed to let your feelings happen, And I was [Eric Bell]: not doing that. I was still coping with everything with addictions of working out and [Eric Bell]: feeling better getting that adrenaline rush [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: and work and helping people seeing them happy. I was living my life through other [Eric Bell]: people, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: so [Nick McGowan]: It be such a tough thing [Nick McGowan]: to sit and just be [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: in peace because it can be scary as hell when [Eric Bell]: it is scary. [Nick McGowan]: you’re just ▁quiet with your thoughts because your [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: thoughts start creeping out. So having the bipolar and a, I’m sure there is a [Nick McGowan]: a handful of people that listen to this that are raising their hands that are [Nick McGowan]: like y right there with you. I’m sure there are other people that are like. [Nick McGowan]: Maybe I’ve just never gotten diagnosed. But what were the [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: things that stood out to you that you like you know? There may potentially be [Nick McGowan]: an issue that I need to look into [Eric Bell]: wow, um, [Eric Bell]: I actually don’t think for the first few years [Eric Bell]: I was burying it regardless, uh, it wasn’t until. [Eric Bell]: um. [Eric Bell]: Wow, now we’re going to have to date things [Eric Bell]: so between two thousand and ten and two thousand and [Eric Bell]: nineteen. I had bouts of sobriety with bouts of an amazing life, Uh, and bouts of [Eric Bell]: relapse. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: Um, and a lot of that has to do with Uh, [Eric Bell]: not knowing [Eric Bell]: Um that I was [Eric Bell]: manic or depressive or a d. H. D. I couldn’t understand why my brain was the way it [Eric Bell]: was like I couldn’t focus on anything. Uh, at times I could take on the world, but [Eric Bell]: never accomplish a thing, and other times I never wanted to get out of bed, you know, [Eric Bell]: Um, and those times I never wanted to get out of bed. [Eric Bell]: The only way I knew how to deal with it eventually [Eric Bell]: was [Eric Bell]: a drink, [Eric Bell]: you know, and it led that way again, And there’s a long period of time [Eric Bell]: at two thousand, ten to two thousand, nineteen that, but two other, seven to two [Eric Bell]: thousand, and Tw, oh six, seven, two thousand and thirteen. I was sober for six [Eric Bell]: years, Um, now sober from drugs and alcohol is one thing, Uh, living a sober life [Eric Bell]: and doing the next right thing. Um [Eric Bell]: is another, [Eric Bell]: so. uh, I was still [Eric Bell]: workaholicing and exercising too much and looking for that, Uh fix somewhere else, be [Eric Bell]: it, Uh, finding love somewhere else. I’ve met my wife, Um in two thousand and eleven, [Eric Bell]: I believe, and I known her for a couple of years before but fell a hood over heels [Eric Bell]: and love with her almost immediately because I was looking for something [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: other than outside of myself. [Eric Bell]: So Um, there’s a lot a lot of learning that went in the last [Eric Bell]: ten know, twelve, thirteen years, [Eric Bell]: you know, And it really wasn’t for the last [Eric Bell]: and I’m skipping around here. It was. Um. A lot has happened if fees were preferred, and me [Eric Bell]: personally over the last twelve years. [Eric Bell]: Um. but it really [Eric Bell]: wasn’t until [Eric Bell]: the pandemic, or um, [Eric Bell]: me having my Ra, my last relapse. Uh, I went into rehab. I went into treatment in [Eric Bell]: two thousand and nineteen, [Eric Bell]: early two thousand, April, two thousand may have two thousand and nineteen. [Eric Bell]: and [Eric Bell]: uh, that’s that’s how long I’ve been over. Just let you know, Uh, April, two thousand [Eric Bell]: and nineteen, So I am coming up on three years one day at a time. Uh, but [Eric Bell]: uh, finally, for the first time I said I can’t do this any more and I went in [Eric Bell]: treatment, and then the pandemic that hit. You know, [Nick McGowan]: Hm, [Eric Bell]: shortly after that, Uh, was it Uh? one year later the pandemic head, Uh, So I had year [Eric Bell]: under my belt and then the pandemic hit and the pandemic was actually [Eric Bell]: the best thing that could happen to me. Uh, in my, and Um, One of the things that I [Eric Bell]: decided to do was um to go. I went to more meetings and at first it was I, I [Eric Bell]: overabundantly, Oh, I went to too many meetings. I was trying to get out of myself by [Eric Bell]: getting on ▁zoom, and doing two things, too many things. But I met my current [Eric Bell]: sponsor, uh, in a meeting and I [Eric Bell]: decided to [Eric Bell]: do more therapy. also, [Eric Bell]: so I, I learned [Eric Bell]: many things in the pandemic, as far as sobriety goes, and having to sit with yourself [Eric Bell]: in a nine hundred and forty square foot condo with one person [Eric Bell]: you know. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: Um, and you have to sit with yourself and you have to be okay if you’re not going to [Eric Bell]: bury those feelings out in the world like I normally would. [Eric Bell]: So it taught me how to sit with my feelings more in the last two and a half years, [Eric Bell]: three, three years [Eric Bell]: than [Eric Bell]: fifteen years of trying to and work on be getting over. You know. Uh, so so yeah, [Eric Bell]: the pandemic was actually amazing for me in my mental health, So [Nick McGowan]: That’s such an interesting [Eric Bell]: suching thing [Nick McGowan]: thing to hear because most people I’ve talked to [Eric Bell]: to [Nick McGowan]: Um, business wise, Just you know, friendships or just people that I run into, [Nick McGowan]: We get into [Eric Bell]: into. [Nick McGowan]: a conversation about the pandemic Co, and all that [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: stuff. That’s typically not what they say, Typically like. Well, uh, I realize [Nick McGowan]: that I was an alcoholic because I looked at all the bottles, or I [Eric Bell]: right, [Nick McGowan]: realized that I couldn’t get my [Eric Bell]: couldn’t get my hands off myself. this [Nick McGowan]: hands off myself because of whatever. I realized that I had issues in this way [Nick McGowan]: be. But then there are a lot of people that don’t even realize that they have [Nick McGowan]: those things. [Eric Bell]: those things. so I think weirnessart [Nick McGowan]: So I think it’s the awareness to be smart enough and open enough to go. [Nick McGowan]: Wait a minute. This is a pattern here. [Eric Bell]: enough to go. wait a bit. [Eric Bell]: right [Nick McGowan]: So how do you? How do you work on that now, knowing that you’ve had those [Nick McGowan]: patterns and that you one day at a time. But what? what does your daily [Eric Bell]: those patterns One day at the time [Eric Bell]: your daily [Nick McGowan]: life look like when it comes to that [Eric Bell]: comes. [Eric Bell]: Well, it’s changed since the beginning of the pandemic. Also, um, uh, my wife is a [Eric Bell]: therapist, so she actually has built in um, [Eric Bell]: uh, processes that she uses with her own clients and stuff. So you know we, we went [Eric Bell]: into it. Going Okay. Well, you know exactly what to do. We. We’re going to do this, [Eric Bell]: this and this and this, and of course that fell apart. you know. Um, it’s easy to tell [Eric Bell]: somebody to do something to do it yourself. Is is a lot of work. Um, [Eric Bell]: so [Eric Bell]: you know it. it’s been. It’s been a roller coaster ride during the pandemic also, but [Eric Bell]: it to stay active and to, [Eric Bell]: um, [Eric Bell]: to have things to do, you know, Have a list of things to do that’s really helped me. [Eric Bell]: Um. we’re in the process of getting our house ready for to s put up for sale. you [Eric Bell]: know, it’s it’s. It’s a crazy time to do that, But because I’ve had a list of things [Eric Bell]: to do, it’s actually kept me really busy and focused. You know, Uh, over the last [Eric Bell]: couple of months, Um and I, my, My work hasn’t suffered. Our relationship hasn’t [Eric Bell]: suffered. You know we’ve had our drawbacks but you know any couple will, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: Um, and I think that’s been kind of the uh difference what the pandemic has brought me [Eric Bell]: versus the before times which I knew that I needed to do these things. I just didn’t [Eric Bell]: do it because it’s easy for me to run out and be in the world, and just kind of forget [Eric Bell]: about the list that I made you [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: know. now I’m [Eric Bell]: stuck here and if I don’t get the list made, Uh, I don’t get anything accomplished. [Eric Bell]: You know so, and there are days that I don’t want to get anything accomplished, and I [Eric Bell]: don’t beat myself up for ‘. anymore, [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, [Eric Bell]: um, I, I can I and say Oh, that was I didn’t do anything today And then my wife will [Eric Bell]: well say. Well, you got up, right you, you clean the kitchen, you fed the cats, you [Eric Bell]: made me lunch. You did this. You did that, you know, you clean the y. you, you, you [Eric Bell]: vacuum the house. Uh, did you? what do? What did you do for work? I did sent this one [Eric Bell]: email And that’s what I would be mad at. Is I just sent [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: one email. She goes. Well, you did all this other stuff. Stop beating yourself up. [Eric Bell]: Start. please not be in a martyr to [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: yourself. Um, [Eric Bell]: but for the most part I don’t do that anymore. You know I can. I can see when I start [Eric Bell]: to get hard on myself. [Eric Bell]: Uh, I will list what I did [Eric Bell]: to myself. I’m [Nick McGowan]: that’s good. [Eric Bell]: like okay, So you did this, this and this and this, So you weren’t a lazy person all [Eric Bell]: day, and sometimes it’s okay to be a lazy person If [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Eric Bell]: we stay busy all the time, it can be exhausting. [Nick McGowan]: Oh, yeah. [Eric Bell]: Uh, so I don’t beat myself up for those little things anymore, you know, Uh, at least [Eric Bell]: I try not to. I try to be aware Uh of what I’m thinking of, and [Eric Bell]: then I’m able, and for the most part I’m able to let that stuff go. [Nick McGowan]: sure. [Eric Bell]: Uh, but my days you know, [Eric Bell]: especially the last few weeks. Um, we do yoga every night. I, I loved doing uh, A, [Eric Bell]: and every night like whether we want to or not, we can be exhausted and we’re like. [Eric Bell]: Are we going to do a yoga tonight? Yes, I don’t want to, but yes, and so we’ll move [Eric Bell]: everything out of the living room and we will set up our mats and we’ll do it. Uh, and [Eric Bell]: we both feel great afterward and a lot of times after it. I will do a little bit of [Eric Bell]: exercise. you know, I’ll I’ll [Nick McGowan]: go even further. [Eric Bell]: um. Yeah, go even a little further. Um. so it’s it’s really helped. Um, [Eric Bell]: just my mind by [Nick McGowan]: Sure. [Eric Bell]: doing that. I. I actually look forward to nighttime yoga now, [Nick McGowan]: that’s pretty cool. [Eric Bell]: and at the start of the pandemic, I bear. I just like I only did yoga, my wife, [Eric Bell]: also a um, [Eric Bell]: uh, five hundred instructor. So I have my own yoga instructor in the house and I hate [Eric Bell]: it. I didn’t really hate it. I just go [Eric Bell]: through. I would never choose to do it. Do you want to do yoga? I guess so [Eric Bell]: eventually I, we started doing it in the pandemic. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: The where [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, [Eric Bell]: the for a little, but got started again. So [Nick McGowan]: isn’t it interesting how once you start something, just like your wife had [Nick McGowan]: said, Like you got out of bed. That’s a big thing. for some people. You [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: put clothes on. you did this. You did that like taking [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: those small wins. but when you’re actually able to take that first step and [Nick McGowan]: continue to take that step, make the next step the next step. the next step. [Nick McGowan]: we don’t have to do everything all at once but being mindful of ourselves, so [Nick McGowan]: I appreciate that you’re showing yourself grace and being aware of what you [Nick McGowan]: are doing what you’re not doing. It’s also huge to have accountability, so for [Nick McGowan]: the people that are listening, be at a spouse or a friend, have some sort of [Nick McGowan]: accountability to be able to talk about this stuff. If you feel like Hey, I’m [Nick McGowan]: dropping the ball in a certain way. Rate your damn hand. talk to somebody [Nick McGowan]: about it. You know, I’ve got a few friends who I’m like. Hey, I’m struggling [Nick McGowan]: with this and I don’t need you for anything, but I just need you to know that [Nick McGowan]: this is where I’m at right now and then [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: they’ll be able to check in every once in a while. Like. Hey, dude, how are [Nick McGowan]: you doing with this thing? You’re like. Ah, thank you for the reminder, but it [Nick McGowan]: takes that step to be able to get out and t take that first step. so [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: I think one of the things that we need to talk about is the whole coved thing [Nick McGowan]: and all of that working from home. But as you’re battling through mental [Nick McGowan]: things and working on yourself, how do you also balance making sure that you [Nick McGowan]: are continually productive or at least doing something throughout each day? [Eric Bell]: list a and I and I think, Um, writing something down every day. Uh, having some sort [Eric Bell]: of goal, [Eric Bell]: Um, be it you know, just [Eric Bell]: send an email to this dealership, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: you know, and that will, once I sit down and do that one email that we. Oh, yeah. [Eric Bell]: now I got to send an email to to this person. I guess in the email of this person. And [Eric Bell]: and it kind of gets me started in the day. And if I real. If I’m really struggling, [Eric Bell]: you write down three or four things you know, and if I, I, I think it’s a. It’s a win [Eric Bell]: if I cross off one thing in my list, because in the past I would try to do all for [Eric Bell]: them at the same time and never get anything done. [Nick McGowan]: Hm, [Eric Bell]: Um, but if I’m able to cross off one, [Eric Bell]: Typically, if I cross off one, I’m crossing off almost all of them because once I get [Eric Bell]: the list started and make that goal and achieve that goal, I want to hit the next [Eric Bell]: one. [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, [Eric Bell]: So list for me it’s It’s writing that list down [Nick McGowan]: that’s good. Do you journal [Eric Bell]: good. [Nick McGowan]: as well? [Eric Bell]: I, I don’t journal, um, [Eric Bell]: um, [Eric Bell]: we, we do. we. I do have a journal and we do it Uh, once a month, and it’s something I [Eric Bell]: do with my wife. [Eric Bell]: Uh, a New Moon celebration. And a ceremony that she does Uh, in her [Eric Bell]: practice, Uh, and we sit and meditate and we read a passage and we burn some incense, [Eric Bell]: and then we write what we, what we wanted to accomplish. what we will want to [Eric Bell]: accomplish. You know what we want to change, or be new, or whatever it is, And so so [Eric Bell]: technically yes, I do, journal. It’s just not every day [Nick McGowan]: That’s cool. So [Nick McGowan]: you take that and you walk that into the next month, and then each day you’re [Eric Bell]: that’. so take that [Eric Bell]: each day you’re making a list of maybe three or four different things right for you is [Nick McGowan]: making a list of one to maybe three or four different things, and then a wind [Nick McGowan]: for you is actually checking off one of those things which can be huge for [Eric Bell]: actually checking off one of those things. Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: some people, Um that [Eric Bell]: Yeah, absolutely. [Nick McGowan]: struggle with that And it’s whatever that medium looks like. I’m glad that you [Eric Bell]: I’m glad you that list for you. I. I’m sure there’s some that [Nick McGowan]: found that list. Help for you. I know, I’m sure there are some people that [Nick McGowan]: will listen to this and go [Eric Bell]: go [Nick McGowan]: list your trash. They don’t [Eric Bell]: dress. They don’t help me. I really listen all day long, so it’s a point that one thing [Nick McGowan]: help me. I write Li all day long, so it’s funny that one thing that actually [Eric Bell]: that actually, [Nick McGowan]: works for you to be able to do that, [Eric Bell]: Yeah to do that well, and there’s different, [Eric Bell]: um, brain types and different personality types that. Uh, you know some people can [Eric Bell]: just sit, get up in the morning and be really really productive from the g. Go. Um, [Eric Bell]: and we can’t compare ourselves to that person. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Eric Bell]: you know. Uh, I can get up really quick in the morning. My wife, can’t. She takes an [Eric Bell]: hour to get up. I can jump out of bed And and you know, like I said, I could go, I’ll [Eric Bell]: go in the kitchen, Get the cat bowls ready for to clean them up. To get ready to get [Eric Bell]: fed. Um, I’ll make breakfast. I’ll make coffee. I’ll wipe down the kitchen, you know [Eric Bell]: all before she ever gets up. Um, [Eric Bell]: she’s not that type of person, but that’s a daily list for me. That’s a daily thing. [Eric Bell]: That’s my routine. Um, once, I once, I get done with that routine and I don’t have [Eric Bell]: anything else? I get kinda lost. it’s I. [Nick McGowan]: huh, [Eric Bell]: I kind of wander around the the house sometimes, Uh, and if I, the reason I wander [Eric Bell]: around the house is if I sit down in front of the T. V. I’m I know, I’m going, get [Eric Bell]: caught there. [Nick McGowan]: yeah, game over right, [Eric Bell]: You know the well for at least a couple of hours. and that’s okay, too. it’s okay [Eric Bell]: to sit for a couple of hours. [Nick McGowan]: yeah, [Eric Bell]: you know. Um, [Eric Bell]: And part of my job is I have to watch [Eric Bell]: car reviews, you know, but for some reason I don’t watch car reviews on the T. v, but [Eric Bell]: I’ll watch them on my laptop right here, you know, ’cause if I’m in my desk, I’m doing [Eric Bell]: work things [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Eric Bell]: you know. and and where I love to watch Caro reviews. That’s a work thing. So if I’m A [Eric Bell]: at the T. V, I’m watching [Eric Bell]: Marvel movies, or Um, watch an Ozark right now. You know. So [Eric Bell]: so you know it. it’s it’s that’s not a workspace. This is a workspace. Uh, but I [Eric Bell]: don’t want. also don’t want to start my workspace at eight o’clock in the morning. [Eric Bell]: Um, because then I’ll be working from eight to eight. That just doesn’t give time for [Eric Bell]: myself in the springtime I go. I, I’ll go for a walk in the morning [Eric Bell]: for [Eric Bell]: twelve degrees [Nick McGowan]: oh, [Eric Bell]: or [Nick McGowan]: ykes, [Eric Bell]: so. Uh, I think when we actually went for a walk, it was in the twenties. [Eric Bell]: That’s not what I find enjoyable. You [Nick McGowan]: yeah, [Eric Bell]: know, going for a walk on a nice spring day. that’s enjoyable. Um, but we do you do. [Eric Bell]: Even if it’s cold, you do need to get outside and experience that light whether it’s [Eric Bell]: or not to do every day. Also, [Nick McGowan]: mhm. [Eric Bell]: so so [Nick McGowan]: yeah, there’s still a lot of people that work hybrid or work [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: from home and they’re [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: just stuck in the house and stuck [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: is all in their mind, so they can leave [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: the house or not, But it can be easy to not go out of your house for a couple [Nick McGowan]: of days. [Eric Bell]: absolutely, [Nick McGowan]: There are times where I deal with that where I’m like. Oh, I need to go check [Nick McGowan]: the mail. I don’t know if I have anything. the mail, but my athletes get out of [Nick McGowan]: the house for a minute, and [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: like breathe some air that’s not air conditioning or heat that’s being pushed [Nick McGowan]: throughout the house. [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: Um, and it sounds like you, you’ve set yourself up to figure out these of the [Nick McGowan]: things that make me work when I’m supposed to work and putting [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: yourself in the right spot where Uh, you know, I think like, Um, years and [Nick McGowan]: years and years ago. this may have been even high school, but I think a psych [Nick McGowan]: the teacher had told us, Uh, in some class, you know, cyc class or something, Um, [Nick McGowan]: you shouldn’t eat in your room. [Eric Bell]: right, [Nick McGowan]: you shouldn’t eat from your bed. You shouldn’t do all things in your bed, [Nick McGowan]: Because then when you’re supposed to go to sleep, your brain saying well, [Nick McGowan]: you’re used to doing eating or reading or studying or watching [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: T. V, or what have you? so being mindful of this is your work area. This is [Nick McGowan]: where you do work is huge. [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: Where I, I still see people that they’ll move throughout house. Um, and with [Nick McGowan]: their laptop, they’ll be sitting on the couch that move to the back porch. [Nick McGowan]: They’ll do this. They’ll do that [Nick McGowan]: and hey if you can do that, and it keeps you moving and keeps you [Eric Bell]: yeah, it’ [Nick McGowan]: focused. Great. but what I’ve realized a lot of those people. they’re just [Nick McGowan]: fidgety and just [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: like I don’t know, I want to go over here on to go over here and they’re just [Nick McGowan]: half-assing things. So [Nick McGowan]: do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you? Uh, kind of battle that [Eric Bell]: yeah. Do you have any tips or tricks? [Nick McGowan]: ad, then lock yourself into those modes. [Eric Bell]: I think I think you said it. So I’m in my office right now. this is my workspace. I [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Eric Bell]: don’t. the only time I ever take my laptop out of here is to do uh, uh, a sobriety [Eric Bell]: meeting of some sort. Um, [Eric Bell]: But that’s really it. I don’t ever take my laptop out of here and put it on the [Eric Bell]: uh. on the table. I don know it stays in here. Uh, virtually everything is done that [Eric Bell]: needs to be on the laptop in in this office, Um, everything else. Uh, the kitchen [Eric Bell]: table is for dinner. Um, now granted, we do sometimes eat in front of the T. V. [Eric Bell]: just because you know, Um, the porch is meant for relaxing sitting outside, and being [Eric Bell]: outside, so that the porch has been unused right now for a couple months, but you know [Eric Bell]: morning coffee. Uh, the kitchen is meant for cooking, Um, the bedroom is I and I. [Eric Bell]: I went through a, Um. A sleep study, during the pandemic, Tu, and [Eric Bell]: Um, was told by the doctor, [Eric Bell]: the bed is for [Eric Bell]: sleep and sex. [Nick McGowan]: Sounds about right. [Eric Bell]: That’s that’s that’s whats. That’s what. Your’re your bed’s for. Um, So if you get out [Eric Bell]: of bed and you’re going to read, read in your chair, Uh, read in the living room. [Eric Bell]: it a second room or office. So, uh, my, my reading space is the couch, and or the, [Eric Bell]: the, recliner that we have. Um, So every room has its own designation and I don’t [Eric Bell]: try. I try not to combine those, [Eric Bell]: so if I’m in, I know what I’ to be doing in those rooms. so [Nick McGowan]: That makes sense. [Eric Bell]: yeah [Eric Bell]: and I, we don’t have a t. V in our bedroom. We don’t watch T. v. uh, for the most [Eric Bell]: part, where you stay off our phones. That’s a tough one to break. [Nick McGowan]: Oh yeah, [Eric Bell]: staying off your phone in the bed. Um, you know we’re We’re just so used to this, you [Eric Bell]: know, [Nick McGowan]: yeah. [Eric Bell]: Um, if i, but if if at, if at nine o’clock I put my phone down. I try not to to use [Eric Bell]: it. Sometimes my wife has to say you’re on your phone. It’s nine thirty. Oh yeah, [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, um, [Eric Bell]: but those boundaries set for myself. help me [Eric Bell]: daily. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Nick McGowan]: It sounds like you got a good accountability partner with somebody that’s [Nick McGowan]: there. That’s not nagging you about it. But just as I’m a reminder, like hey, [Nick McGowan]: you [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: said you were going to do this thing. [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, I mean, I know the stories I can tell myself [Eric Bell]: to my phone. she’s just telling you because. You told her to tell you [Eric Bell]: that resentment can happen whether it’s r true or not, [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, yeah, [Eric Bell]: so [Nick McGowan]: it’s almost like when you’ um, when you’re going from thing, the thing to [Nick McGowan]: thing, you’re looking for something like that. Uh, do you mean hit, or [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: even when somebody like your wife says Hey, it’s nine thirty. You said you’re [Nick McGowan]: going to be off your phone at nine. You can instantly snap back even in your [Nick McGowan]: head and be like shot up woman. This is the thing that I want to do. But then [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: like you said, you know you’re You got to think about that. You got to [Nick McGowan]: understand Like Why is that frustration there? What’s that [Eric Bell]: right, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: coming from? and I think it gets back to. Sometimes you just got to be ▁quiet [Nick McGowan]: and sit [Eric Bell]: yeah, yep. [Nick McGowan]: and you’d mention meditating and that you guys do that once a month. Do you [Nick McGowan]: find that that helps you with everything you go through as well? [Eric Bell]: Yes, um, it’s interesting because of my, [Eric Bell]: and I think a lot of people listening will find that they’ve tried me and they can’t [Eric Bell]: sit still. They can’t stop the thoughts [Eric Bell]: learned. And that’s um uh, [Eric Bell]: from meditation and having a wife and a mentor that that are proficient [Eric Bell]: and meditating That meditation isn’t peace, and ▁quiet and sitting still. You know [Eric Bell]: that’s what the goal is, but [Eric Bell]: I, I twitch like you wouldn’t believe my and my wife say. When you sit that down to [Eric Bell]: meditate, she knows I am going to be moving in itchy and twitchy and she laughs about [Eric Bell]: it sometimes ’cause I just it’s impossible for me to sit still. It’s it’s just [Eric Bell]: impossible. Um [Eric Bell]: until that, a lot of times for about a minute in a meditation, then I’ll hit that [Eric Bell]: space that’s just works. my. My brain’s just [Eric Bell]: not. It’s just focused on nothing. Um, but a minute, one minute out of a fifteen [Eric Bell]: minute att meditation. That’s about all I get. but that’s okay. Meditation is being [Eric Bell]: aware [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Eric Bell]: that stuff is happening All right. That’s these thoughts are happening. I’m [Eric Bell]: I’m moving my hands. I’m moving my feet. my foot’s fallen asleep. My knee itches my [Eric Bell]: back, itches, you know, um, my nose. that just so in scratch, I’m on a scratch’mnna [Eric Bell]: scratch. You know all this stuff and just being aware of what’s happening is a [Eric Bell]: meditation. [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, [Eric Bell]: and until andacive, [Nick McGowan]: it’s the active part of it. [Eric Bell]: Yeah, until I learned that I, meditation was so frustrating, so [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, [Eric Bell]: frustrating. Um. but now that I know first of all how my brain works and that that’s [Eric Bell]: not abnormal, [Eric Bell]: and that I am doing a meditation even though it doesn’t feel like I’m doing a [Eric Bell]: meditation, Um, [Eric Bell]: I can sit and ▁quiet longer because of that, you know, and just being aware, Um, like [Eric Bell]: we did a meditation [Eric Bell]: class on last Wednesday, Uh, with our reverend, um Un. Unfortunately, he’s retiring [Eric Bell]: from revering. He’s going into another field, but it’s like one of his last Um [Eric Bell]: classes. He’s got a couple more months of him and he does a Wednesday evening [Eric Bell]: meditation and uh, it’s an hour long. but the meditation’s not an hour long. It’s just [Eric Bell]: to sit and talk and tell to you know. He asks questions like one word. How is your week [Eric Bell]: like and you’re supposed to be chaotic, or um, you know, uplifting, you know, Say [Eric Bell]: that one word that comes to you and then you have a little discussion on it. and then [Eric Bell]: he sits and and does a guided meditation And I do really well with guided meditation. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm. [Eric Bell]: If somebody’s talking then I don’t have to listen to my own thoughts, you know, But [Eric Bell]: then we sit and do uh a ▁quiet meditation [Eric Bell]: And [Eric Bell]: you know, sitting for thirty minutes is really difficult for me and I didn’t want to [Eric Bell]: do it. I was like, Oh, you know, I haven’t seen kin. and oh man, I don’t think [Eric Bell]: I’ve seen him in a year and a half. And so this will be the last time I did. It was [Eric Bell]: probably a year and a half ago. We had his medication with him and he was there and it [Eric Bell]: was good to see him [Eric Bell]: and once I finally went there it was. Oh yeah. that’s right. I like doing this. You. [Eric Bell]: No, it was it was. I, W. My body wanted to do something that was good for me, but my [Eric Bell]: brain was like, Oh my God, it’s go to be so long. It says I don’t want to do it. You [Eric Bell]: know. it’s just fighting against it. Um, but I was able to sit still and be ▁quiet for [Eric Bell]: three minutes instead of one because it was a structure that I could follow, you know, [Eric Bell]: and when it was over with it felt great, I cried. Uh, we talked. you know, it was [Eric Bell]: absolutely amazing and Um, [Eric Bell]: I want to do more of that and I say that And then I haven’t meditated since you know. [Nick McGowan]: Well, now it’s real and it’s on a podcast. It’s going to be out there. You’d [Eric Bell]: Uh, but I ha, own. Yeah, Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: better do more of it. [Eric Bell]: but I am, but I’m not beating myself up for it ’cause I have [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, [Eric Bell]: done yoga every day for twenty. What are we? in? twenty, twenty, five, twenty five [Eric Bell]: days, [Nick McGowan]: yeah, yeah, [Eric Bell]: So [Eric Bell]: I, my goal is being accomplished. The extras. the uh two medication? I, this or extra, [Eric Bell]: so I accomplish extra things [Eric Bell]: by accomplishing my goals. [Nick McGowan]: yeah, it’s all the perspective than what you [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: give it. If you say [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: I’m not doing enough, then yeah, you’re right. You’re not doing enough. You’re [Nick McGowan]: going to beat the hell out of yourself, but if you’re like, Hey, this is what [Nick McGowan]: I’m actually doing and some of that stuff is just simple things like Did you [Nick McGowan]: brush damn teeth today? Yeah, [Eric Bell]: right, [Nick McGowan]: great, you enter a dentist and people you talk to will appreciate you for that [Nick McGowan]: you know. Um, but it. it’s funny with the meditating, though, because man [Nick McGowan]: sitting there like guy, typically do a ten to fifteen minute meditation in the [Nick McGowan]: morning and at night, but I’ve gotten in that same spot where guided [Nick McGowan]: meditations really do me right, because [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, [Nick McGowan]: I’m focusing on that person instead [Eric Bell]: right. [Nick McGowan]: of just sitting in by myself and having all these thoughts come up. and for [Nick McGowan]: the longest time I was right there with you that I thought you know the goal [Nick McGowan]: and the whole point to it is to be silent and be uplifted and all of this [Nick McGowan]: stuff. But the goal of it is actually to be in those moments where you go. Oh [Nick McGowan]: my god, my footage is shut up back to your breathing. That’s what it’s about. [Nick McGowan]: It’s at awareness to be able to pull yourself back because I think it’s [Nick McGowan]: training. you know. when [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: you’re in that spot and you’re able to go. My footages. Well, get back to your [Nick McGowan]: breathing. Concentrate on where you’re at That helps you in other spaces where [Nick McGowan]: you know work or relationships or anything, so you don’t just lose your cool. [Nick McGowan]: Uh, have you seen any anything like that come from? Um, from meditating where [Nick McGowan]: you’ve learned how to kind of calm yourself down a little easier. [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah, um, [Eric Bell]: Absolutely. [Eric Bell]: I mean. I’ve had [Eric Bell]: and didn pan. I want. [Eric Bell]: instead of reacting, [Eric Bell]: these. [Eric Bell]: ‘ going on here and you know that’s that whole being present with yourself, you know, [Eric Bell]: and uh, having being able to say hey, this is going on. What’s go? What do you think [Eric Bell]: is going on and taking yourself out of it and being aware of the situation and [Eric Bell]: then going back to that person? Uh, most of the time, ninety nine percent of the time. [Eric Bell]: I, I’d blow it up more than it’s actually is. [Eric Bell]: You know, uh, and instead of reacting and being oh yeah, you know, and um that that [Eric Bell]: that meditation is just being [Eric Bell]: the. the. The. What’s what? The? What am I trying to say? The [Eric Bell]: parallel is that to be able to be aware of what’s going on, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: sit back and say Okay, my foot’s itching. So what do I do about it? I scratch my foot [Eric Bell]: and then I go back to my breathing, you know, and that’s that setting it. That’s [Eric Bell]: sending it your own boundary for yourself and being aware of what’s going on, Um, and [Eric Bell]: in life it’s okay. What’s going on with this problem right here? Well, let’s scratch [Eric Bell]: that itch. [Eric Bell]: pull it. pull away from yourself. scratch that itch, and then come back to it in a in [Eric Bell]: a [Eric Bell]: more pre, uh, calm mindset [Nick McGowan]: It can be difficult to be able to do that. It takes a lot of work to be able [Nick McGowan]: to do that. So you’ve touched on the twelve years [Nick McGowan]: and even the stuff that you’ve been through And I know there are certain [Nick McGowan]: things that we haven’t brought up on this podcast that I know about you. that [Nick McGowan]: goes even further back, but here you are. You’ve experienced all this stuff [Nick McGowan]: and you’re sitting in a better spot now. So what sort of advice can you give [Nick McGowan]: to people that are still dealing with the shit that they were dealing with in [Nick McGowan]: their own heads from the start of the pandemic? [Eric Bell]: Um, [Eric Bell]: Just remember that you know, no matter how bad you have it, somebody else has it [Eric Bell]: worse, and everything is a learning experience. [Eric Bell]: If we don’t move forward, Uh, if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. [Eric Bell]: right if you’re standing in the same place and you’re beating yourself up, and you’re [Eric Bell]: telling yourself the same story. At least this it is for me. I’m not growing. [Eric Bell]: I am not growing, Um, for me to be a better human being and grow. It’s a. It’s one [Eric Bell]: step forward every day, even if it’s a little baby step. You know it’s okay if it’s a [Eric Bell]: little baby step. Uh, and if I need to stop every once in a while to contemplate where [Eric Bell]: I’m at and that’s okay, but it’s not. It’s not getting stuck in that place. [Eric Bell]: Um, don’t get. I can’t get stuck. And and [Eric Bell]: just be, Oh my god, this is happening. this is happening. this is happening. Um, [Eric Bell]: that whole, okay, why did this happen and kind of uh, [Eric Bell]: compartmentalizing it out, and not justifying but working and out of why it [Eric Bell]: happened and what I can do to change that you know, and most of the time it’s the [Eric Bell]: the story I tell myself Is is a lot again. It’s a lot worse than it really is, [Eric Bell]: and I beat myself up harder than anybody else is gonna beat me up. And when I actually [Eric Bell]: talked to that person that caused me this pain, or um, talk to somebody else that the [Eric Bell]: payin up cause myself. it’s usually minuscule of a problem. It’s such a small problem. [Eric Bell]: And I made it so much bigger than it really is. And that still happens to me. It [Eric Bell]: happens to me all the time. [Eric Bell]: but the difference is I’m able to say Okay. [Eric Bell]: What’s actually going on here? Why I feel this way, Um, and having a partner [Eric Bell]: that that, actually, you can have a com communication with that you, you can sit down [Eric Bell]: and have a conversation with having Um, a therapist psychiatrist, having um friends [Eric Bell]: that you could say hey. I just need to vent [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Eric Bell]: or call and say hey. I need advice. [Eric Bell]: Um. having that at in [Eric Bell]: Wheelhouse, having that available to me helps me get through lot of things. [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, that’s important stuff, man, I think there’s a grey area [Nick McGowan]: of that barrier for some people where they’re just in their own little world. [Nick McGowan]: They do their own little thing. They have their family or not, or their job or [Nick McGowan]: not, and it’s just they just continue to march on that without even stepping [Nick McGowan]: through that through that grey area to have conversations with friends or with [Nick McGowan]: other people. There are still conversations I have with people that I’ve known [Nick McGowan]: for years that are like Hey, I need to tell you about this thing now. [Nick McGowan]: Like, Well, what happened years ago? [Nick McGowan]: Where where was this conversation years ago? They like I was still working [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: through it and here’s where I’m at. Um, so I appreciate that you have those [Nick McGowan]: circles, or at least those people that are by you that you can have those [Nick McGowan]: conversations with, And I want to encourage other people to find at least one [Nick McGowan]: of those. [Nick McGowan]: If not somebody in your own circle, reach out to one of us. You reach you [Nick McGowan]: out to me. Um, They’re going to mean to put you on spot. But I know you and I [Nick McGowan]: know you enjoy having conversations with people and you can help where you can [Nick McGowan]: help. So it doesn’t matter who you talk to. Just be able to have a [Nick McGowan]: conversation and get that out. I think a lot of this can really start with [Nick McGowan]: ourselves. Though, So Eric Bell. think about where you were at. It wasn’t your wife [Nick McGowan]: or anybody else, were you? You were the one who had to say, Hold up. You had [Nick McGowan]: to put your foot down and make a decision and I think a lot of people get that [Nick McGowan]: spot, but don’t ever make that decision. So how did you [Eric Bell]: right, [Nick McGowan]: get through that? [Eric Bell]: Um, it’s yeah. They say it’s hitting rock bottom right. [Eric Bell]: Have so many things that happen in your life? Eventually, you want it to be different, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm? [Eric Bell]: right? [Eric Bell]: It’s [Eric Bell]: what is it to be in the director of your own uh movie? Do you know it? None of that. [Eric Bell]: There’s so much more than this life. right, here. My life is one little speck of the [Eric Bell]: entire [Eric Bell]: universe. Um, so my importance was so big in my own head, but in reality, um, [Eric Bell]: it’s It’s minuscule on the scale, [Eric Bell]: so eventually, Uh, that importance led me [Eric Bell]: to [Eric Bell]: my. my bottom. It led me to you know I needed to fill that whole with drugs and [Eric Bell]: alcohol, and just work, and uh, whatever else it was was. I. I could do without it, [Eric Bell]: um, without actually living a life, [Eric Bell]: and [Eric Bell]: eventually I finally said I can’t do it myself anymore. This is not working. It’s just [Eric Bell]: not working. Um, and that happened [Eric Bell]: multiple times, actually, but this last time I, when I went, I went into treatment in [Eric Bell]: April [Eric Bell]: May of two thousand Nineteen was the first time that I ever thought I wasn’t important [Eric Bell]: enough to not go into treatment. You know, up until then I’ve been fighting addiction [Eric Bell]: since two thousand and seven, and [Eric Bell]: I never would go into any kind of treatment, whether it was therapy or uh, int, [Eric Bell]: inpatient, outpatient, anything, Because I was too important. [Eric Bell]: I [Nick McGowan]: M. [Eric Bell]: needed to make money toll survive, and if I wasn’t going to make money, then I [Eric Bell]: wouldn’t survive. Um, and [Eric Bell]: never did I actually say Well, [Eric Bell]: I’m just going to keep sliding down this slippery slope until I can’t slide anymore. And [Eric Bell]: then how am I going to make money? You know, finally, I helped myself [Eric Bell]: by putting myself out there by saying okay, I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I need [Eric Bell]: help. Um, how am I going to get help And that’s whenever [Eric Bell]: I went into intensive outpatient treatment and I went into sober living for over six [Eric Bell]: months. You know. Luckily I was still able to work, but I was a very very. um. [Eric Bell]: uh, I was watched. We’ll say you know, uh, with curfews and times and stuff, and [Eric Bell]: eventually you know, on under good behavior you get out longer, you know, and stuff [Eric Bell]: like that, but um, [Eric Bell]: and just like in the rest of my life I was a model person metal. uh, I say patient, but [Eric Bell]: uh, model client. You know, I did everything I was supposed to, Uh, and it wasn’t [Eric Bell]: bells whistles through the entire treatment, you know it was. There are some pickups [Eric Bell]: along the way, but um, I knew I wasn’t doing it right anymore and so I was finally [Eric Bell]: willing to listen to other people and not just say I was. ▁. Not not the facade that I [Eric Bell]: was listening to other people [Nick McGowan]: mhm, [Eric Bell]: you know, and that’s what I had been doing for [Eric Bell]: twelve years. Is I’ve been. I talk a good game. I know exactly what I need to say [Eric Bell]: to make it look like I’m doing what I’m doing, [Eric Bell]: you know, uh, and finally it was. You know what, Shut up. you know. You’re full of [Eric Bell]: shit. [Eric Bell]: Just get it done. you know, [Nick McGowan]: yeah, [Eric Bell]: do whatever they say, and that’s what that’s [Eric Bell]: Um. That’s what led to where I’m at now [Eric Bell]: I’m in a much better [Eric Bell]: mental state. Now, [Eric Bell]: you know, I don’t have those ups and downs that I, I don’t. I don’t spend. you know, [Eric Bell]: days in a depression or days in a manic episode. Everything you know, I, I, I’m [Eric Bell]: treated, I’m um e. [Eric Bell]: I’m able to have a conversation without losing it, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm. [Eric Bell]: and I losing it by just being reactionary getting. or uh, [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, and I appreciate you not losing your shit on me on our call today. [Nick McGowan]: I’m going to that. Um, [Nick McGowan]: yeah, just that’s just for you just to make you left. Um, [Nick McGowan]: and we’ve touched a lot of stuff that has been really good so far. Uh, I’m trying [Nick McGowan]: to see if there’s anything else that we need to get into. Is there anything [Nick McGowan]: that? Uh, anything else that you want to cover [Nick McGowan]: without you [Eric Bell]: um, [Nick McGowan]: covering it? Tell me yes or no, so that I can move on a onto the next piece. [Eric Bell]: yes, yeah, I. I would. I like to talk a little bit more about work, [Nick McGowan]: Okay, Well, [Eric Bell]: Cause that that’s such a big piece of my. um, [Eric Bell]: um, [Eric Bell]: really, I mean it’s [Eric Bell]: part. [Eric Bell]: it’s um, [Eric Bell]: you know it’s not a corporate job, you know. I, it’s building something that I [Eric Bell]: wanted to do and I’m doing it and making a living at. [Nick McGowan]: let’s take a little bit of a step back real quick so I can [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: actually edit this the right way. [Eric Bell]: okay, [Nick McGowan]: Um, so I’ll do a three, two one and kick in So [Nick McGowan]: three two one? Well, we’ve gone through a lot of stuff. We’ve un pothead a [Nick McGowan]: lot. Uh, I know your business is really important to you, and I know that, Um, [Nick McGowan]: how you [Nick McGowan]: move throughout the world is important to you, but it really works [Nick McGowan]: together. So, is there anything else you want to touch on specifically about [Nick McGowan]: your business or just your mindset in general when it comes to that, [Eric Bell]: well, I know we talked about earlier. Um, [Eric Bell]: you know the whole aspect of [Eric Bell]: doing what you love or creating that, um, uh, business out of your side hustle. [Eric Bell]: you know [Eric Bell]: you, you put it, Um, [Eric Bell]: and [Eric Bell]: I, I’m a perfect example of being someone who did that and is able to make a living [Eric Bell]: of out of it [Eric Bell]: And I absolutely love what I do. it’s absolutely been amazing and the pandemic [Eric Bell]: has actually done really good things for my business. Excuse me, [Eric Bell]: Um, [Eric Bell]: I can get lost in it. Sometimes you know, ’cause I love to do it so much, and [Eric Bell]: and I do have to be careful there. Um, [Eric Bell]: but it’s [Eric Bell]: I didn’t realize how much work [Eric Bell]: something you love would be once you become successful at it, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: you know, And and it is work you know. I do. I do have to set those goals. I say my [Eric Bell]: hours are nine to seven, you know, and that’s that those are my hours, Uh, six [Eric Bell]: days a week, but I, I stay true to those hours like I won’t come into my office til, [Eric Bell]: nine o’clock Sometimes I get in early eight forty-five, but I don’t come in until [Eric Bell]: those types of hours. Um. and if I have to leave, that’s fine too. Uh, but I set those [Eric Bell]: hours for myself. you know, A. And so I do have some sort of structure just like [Eric Bell]: a. A regular job would be Um, [Eric Bell]: with the pandemic, You know, you know, before I was all over the place, I was driving [Eric Bell]: all over southeastern Pennsylvania, looking at all kinds of different cars, driving [Eric Bell]: all kinds of different cars. And the pandemic, I went from driving thirty thousand [Eric Bell]: miles a year to seven thousand miles a year. you know. So so it’s different. [Eric Bell]: It’s learning a whole different way of doing what I do, and that’s been interesting [Eric Bell]: too. uh, and as I want to grow, [Eric Bell]: Uh, you have to be. but at least I have to be willing to say. Okay. The way I was [Eric Bell]: doing things isn’t necessarily the way it can always be. so I was able to adapt and [Eric Bell]: change quickly on the fly. Uh, and that actually helped my business quite a bit, [Eric Bell]: Um, so anybody can. Actually, I, I, I believe wholeheartedly anybody can actually make [Eric Bell]: their side wholesale into a business, but it does take a lot of [Eric Bell]: um, [Eric Bell]: uh, a lot of work. Uh, [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, [Eric Bell]: a lot of what’s the word I’m looking for? [Eric Bell]: Um, [Eric Bell]: Go draw a blank. I’m sorry, [Nick McGowan]: To get a dedication. [Eric Bell]: Um, dedication. look at that. we came out at the same time. uh, uh, And and [Eric Bell]: know that and no, nobody told me this is, uh, you know, once your [Eric Bell]: love of a side hustle becomes work, it is work. You know it’s not always going to be [Eric Bell]: fun and games every day. Um, but I still think about it and I go. Would I ever want to [Eric Bell]: go back to the corporate world and make a steady paycheck and have health insurance [Eric Bell]: and all that stuff. And I’m like absolutely not when I start thinking about it, the [Eric Bell]: the comfort of a steady paycheck, but the, the, um. [Eric Bell]: the, um. You know, being able to just do whatever I want to do at any given time, I [Eric Bell]: mean, if I want to ask myself off, I give myself off. you know, uh, if I don’t want to [Eric Bell]: work with somebody, I don’t work with them. you know it. It’s just that simple. Uh, [Eric Bell]: so I really enjoy my, um, [Eric Bell]: my work is the way it is and I really really enjoy helping people. [Nick McGowan]: Mhm, Mhm, [Eric Bell]: You know. that’s the big thing is, I love cars. I absolutely love being in in [Eric Bell]: all kinds of cars. Be it the cheapest car you can find to the most expensive car? [Eric Bell]: want to know all of it, but [Eric Bell]: it’s that [Eric Bell]: interaction I have with my clients and when I see them [Eric Bell]: a see when they get to where they want to be and especially when they get to [Eric Bell]: something that they didn’t know they could have, or the amount of money they could [Eric Bell]: save, or the amount of money they could get, or the um, the extras they could, or [Eric Bell]: whatever it is Whenever we put the whole puzzle together and see [Eric Bell]: that what gives joy? [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, man, I remember when, Uh, when I bought a car with you, That whole [Nick McGowan]: the experience was incredible and honestly relatively cheap. Because I remember [Nick McGowan]: paying you hundreds of dollars to be able to help, and at first I was like, [Nick McGowan]: Hm. I’m going to pay a guy hundreds of dollars. A friend of mine, but I’m going [Nick McGowan]: to trust them to help me with this, But you ended up saving us a couple of grand. [Nick McGowan]: We got a hell of a deal. We got a great car and then when we moved [Nick McGowan]: sold it to you. [Eric Bell]: I bought it. [Eric Bell]: I drove that car for awhile. That car was a fun car. Uh, [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, [Eric Bell]: my wife [Eric Bell]: too. Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: I know, man, I want an infinity again. I’ve got an [Eric Bell]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: Audi now, but I think I’ll go back to an infinity at some point, so um, [Eric Bell]: I’ve actually looked for a g. twenty five hard to find. [Nick McGowan]: yeah, [Nick McGowan]: that was. Uh, that was a cool one and that was such a great deal that we got. [Nick McGowan]: and I love that [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: you have that passion to be able to help people. and let’s make this [Nick McGowan]: clear. it’s about fulfillment. It’s not about [Eric Bell]: yeah, yeah. [Nick McGowan]: your job or your business or your side hustle, or anything of the sort. Even [Nick McGowan]: the word hustle, Not a big fan of the hustle word. [Eric Bell]: yeah. [Nick McGowan]: Uh, it’s an easy thing for people to understand. Yeah, side hustle, but we’re [Nick McGowan]: not talking about hustling, we’re talking about being fulfilled and you can [Eric Bell]: right. [Nick McGowan]: easily be fulfilled. And the thing that’s fulfilling and you’ve still got to be [Nick McGowan]: balanced. I mean God, there are times where I I look. I’m editing a an episode [Nick McGowan]: or I’m working on something that I really enjoy and it’ll be two thirty three [Nick McGowan]: o’clock in the morning. like yo, dude, you should have been in bed a couple [Nick McGowan]: of hours ago, you know, but you can get into that and then it’s finding the [Nick McGowan]: balance and setting yourself up. So it’s all about the fulfillment and what [Nick McGowan]: you find that actually keeps you fulfilled. But I think we also got to be [Nick McGowan]: mindful if you’re at a job right now and you hate it. It may not be that it’s [Nick McGowan]: not fulfilling, but it may because of your mindset and what you’re looking at [Nick McGowan]: with that. So [Eric Bell]: yeah. [Nick McGowan]: I know that you go through tough times at different points and that you have [Nick McGowan]: to be mindful of yourself as you go through it, Man. I’m proud of the work [Nick McGowan]: that you’ve put in and all the stuff that you’ve done [Eric Bell]: you have done. I [Nick McGowan]: and I really appreciate being on the show with us today. [Eric Bell]: show with us today. [Nick McGowan]: Can you tell us where we can find you and where people can find you online? [Eric Bell]: Yeah, uh, anyways, www.PhoenixPreferred.com [Eric Bell]: and uh, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, uh, I have a social media marketing company that [Eric Bell]: does all that for me, but I am available on that at any time. Um. Facebook is the big [Eric Bell]: one. I get more interactions with Facebook because my typical clientele is going [Eric Bell]: to be my age-similar, and that seems to be the big Facebook Thing is what, Thirty-five [Eric Bell]: plus, [Eric Bell]: Um, but I, T. I’m trying to learn all the other things like the Twitters and the [Eric Bell]: Instagram sound old. now, right, I’m going to learn that Twitters. [Nick McGowan]: the [Nick McGowan]: twitters and tweeters, [Eric Bell]: I was being. [Eric Bell]: I was being funny when I said that, but [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, I understand [Eric Bell]: I, I did that on purpose, but [Nick McGowan]: that’s why we got to have fun [Eric Bell]: uh [Nick McGowan]: with it. [Eric Bell]: yeah, it’s all Phoenix prepared. Uh, I, I was able to nail down all those uh, [Eric Bell]: um, [Eric Bell]: uh, [Eric Bell]: names. I don’t know what you call them screen names. [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, the handle screens. All that. [Eric Bell]: Oh, that’s that’s dated handles. Yes, [Nick McGowan]: Yes, Well, so you’ [Eric Bell]: I am dating myself again. [Nick McGowan]: mentioned earlier. Yeah, I’m going to cut out most of that out. Um, [Nick McGowan]: you, You’d mentioned earlier that there was an interesting uh [Eric Bell]: Interesting. [Nick McGowan]: the story behind the Phoenix preferred name. Can you give us a quick version of [Nick McGowan]: that? [Eric Bell]: Oh yes, yes, yes, um, [Eric Bell]: so you know I have. I have a tattoo, Uh, of the Phoenix on my [Nick McGowan]: Mhm? [Eric Bell]: my, my arm. Um, so being from Texas, you know, I not necessarily happy with the way [Eric Bell]: the state is going right now, but I’m always going to be a Texan at heart, So I [Eric Bell]: have [Eric Bell]: a firebird that’s coming out of the act Ashes. So it’s it going in the middle of [Eric Bell]: rebirth, carrying the Tex Ag. And that was when I was going through my divorce and [Eric Bell]: starting my company. [Eric Bell]: Um, I knew I was going through a metamorphosis in my life. It was one of those. Okay, [Eric Bell]: This is the way I was and this is going to lead to something else. And then I didn’t [Eric Bell]: know what quite that something else was. but I knew I wanted to represent it. somehow. [Eric Bell]: Um, so the Phoenix on my arm, Phoenix, and just the preferred went with it really [Eric Bell]: well, Uh, so Phoenix preferred your automotive specialist, Uh, came out of that. So I [Eric Bell]: had that tattooed on my arm and I think it’s on this side. Actually, [Eric Bell]: um, [Eric Bell]: so yeah, that’s the [Eric Bell]: coming into a whole Norther metamorphosis of life. [Nick McGowan]: Yeah, that’s good [Eric Bell]: Yeah, that’s good. [Nick McGowan]: stuff, man, I think there are a lot of people that [Eric Bell]: a lot of [Nick McGowan]: are sort of like Phoenix, In [Eric Bell]: Phoenix. [Nick McGowan]: some certain ways coming out [Eric Bell]: Yeah, [Nick McGowan]: of the pandemic trying to figure their stuff out. figure [Eric Bell]: stuff. figure out what’s going on [Nick McGowan]: out what’s going on in their head, So again, I really [Eric Bell]: so [Nick McGowan]: appreciate being on with us today. [Eric Bell]: I appreciate it. Yeah, absolutely. thank you for having me. [Nick McGowan]: it’s been a pleasure.
