Keeping The Internal Beat Thumping No Matter What – Ep.014 – Dom Acello

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Episode summary:​ Dom’s the owner of a marketing agency in Tampa, Florida, and an audio engineer for some of Tampa’s best in the hip-hop scene. Dom joins us today to get into mindset management throughout the rise and fall moments of life.

Guest Name & Bio: As a small business owner & music producer, Dominic Acello has always been a keen advocate of following your own song, heart (or Chest). 

With what Dominic calls his “Reset” event, he lost everything he’d been working for at age 35 and needed to build his life back from literal scratch. 

Since 2018, just 4 years later, Dominic helped build Within Marketing Group Inc, as a digital marketing agency (w/video production) in Tampa, FL. 

As President of Within Marketing Group, Dominic manages 5 employees and the organization manages over $1MM in annual ad spend.  

In an effort to follow his true passion in 2021, Dominic co-founded Heard Records Inc., an Indie Hip-Hop Record Label, complete with a clothing line (, a hybrid analog recording studio (DAPStudios), and in-house marketing & video production.  

Dominic says “all of my recent success, I owe to my most epic losses” and works daily to become a better version of himself.

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[Nick McGowan]: Dom, hello man welcome to

[Nick McGowan]: the show i’m so glad you’re here how are you doing

[Dominic Acello]: I’m doing good. Nack. Thanks for having me on looking forward to this.

[Nick McGowan]: absolutely man no we’ve had a lot of conversations we’ve been friends for i guess a

[Nick McGowan]: little over a year at this point both

[Nick McGowan]: transplants i guess to florida moved from other parts of the country

[Nick McGowan]: connected through a coach that we’re both working with and

[Nick McGowan]: connected over music and man we’ve gotten into some really deep conversations so i

[Nick McGowan]: wanted to make sure that of all the friends that i have that you were one of the

[Nick McGowan]: people that definitely came on the show because i know there’s a lot underneath

[Nick McGowan]: that tough exterior that you’ve got so again thank you for being on ma’am

[Dominic Acello]: thanks. I appreciate that man. Yeah, a hundred percent

[Nick McGowan]: so let’s kick things off uh dom tell us what you do for a living and one thing that

[Nick McGowan]: most people probably don’t know about you

[Dominic Acello]: all right. Well, Um, so professionally, I’ve been doing marketing on my Ing

[Dominic Acello]: for a living since Uh, two thousand and four. Uh,

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dominic Acello]: I’ve always been into music. I’ve been a musician since I was four years

[Dominic Acello]: old, and really over the last couple of years, Um, I think this happened for

[Dominic Acello]: a lot of people, too. Um. this covet event kinda was a wake up

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: call and I started to realize, Um, along with some other events that

[Dominic Acello]: what we’ll get into. Probably here shortly. Um that I’m getting

[Dominic Acello]: old quick. And if I, uh, if I don’t do something, I have a feeling I’m gonna

[Dominic Acello]: you know, sit down and look back and I’m gonna be sixty, and and be like,

[Dominic Acello]: What do you know? What the fuck did I

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: do? Um, So I started to pursue music more. I created a uh, a label with a

[Dominic Acello]: really good friend and he’s my partner in this business called Herd records.

[Dominic Acello]: and um, uh, we have a clothing line that’s under that and we’re we’re going

[Dominic Acello]: to start creating Um music. That we’re go to be releasing Uh more this year

[Dominic Acello]: and it’s uh. It’s been an exciting ride, you know, so I definitely have my

[Dominic Acello]: hands full right now. Um, but I’m trying to move more into it. What is? I’m

[Dominic Acello]: passionate about Um, following my heart in a sense, and uh, that’s where

[Dominic Acello]: it’s bringing me, so I’m I’m trying to do this nice slow transition into

[Dominic Acello]: that and I think the marketing company’s actually go to play a very big role

[Dominic Acello]: in assisting how all of the music stuff ends up. Um coming to light. You

[Dominic Acello]: know, because I have all those resources in house with from video editing to

[Dominic Acello]: all my marketing to, you know, you name it Web development, and so forth, so

[Dominic Acello]: it’s been a busy couple of years, but it’s definitely been the best couple

[Dominic Acello]: of years, probably of my life at this point. So I’m I’m I’m feeling good

[Dominic Acello]: with how things are moving along at this point, you know,

[Dominic Acello]: And then one thing that people don’t know, Um, so what most people don’t

[Dominic Acello]: know is I had what I call my reset event. Um, so when I had

[Dominic Acello]: got out of college, I was all about money, money, money, money. You’ve gotta

[Dominic Acello]: make money. so I work real hard. I work in Manhattan. I’m at an agency to

[Dominic Acello]: start making really good money. Got this beautiful apartment and I I’m

[Dominic Acello]: just sitting there and I realized, Oh my God, that’s not it. you know. So

[Dominic Acello]: like this, ten twelve years, I’m working towards this goal and I started to

[Dominic Acello]: get to and I realized it wasn’t it and I didn’t even consider what if that

[Dominic Acello]: wasn’t it. So I felt like whoa. So for about jeez, probably a good

[Dominic Acello]: eight years I. I kind of struggled, Um. I. I started to avoid the

[Dominic Acello]: the despair feeling and covering it up made a worse and worse decisions as I

[Dominic Acello]: got a little older, and by like age thirty five, that kind of uh, reached

[Dominic Acello]: ahead and uh put me in a position where Um. I lost everything, so uh, just

[Dominic Acello]: four years ago I literally didn’t even have a pair of pants. I had lost every

[Dominic Acello]: single thing I could possibly have didn’t have a bank account. Didn’t have

[Dominic Acello]: money. didn’t have closed. nothing. Um. so I had to build that all back up,

[Dominic Acello]: Um over the last couple of years, and a lot of people don’t realize that.

[Dominic Acello]: For sure. Um, because it looks like I’ve been kind of buzzing along for a

[Dominic Acello]: while now, Um, and

[Dominic Acello]: that event and that whole scenario is probably one of the biggest strengths

[Dominic Acello]: that I have today. I owe it all to all of my mistakes. I mean, hands down,

[Dominic Acello]: you know, and it’s I was definitely presented with a scenario where it’s

[Dominic Acello]: like I can use this to make myself worse and have a reason for it right. I

[Dominic Acello]: could justify why I’m doing stupid

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: things, or I can use that to become an amazing person. you know, and I, I

[Dominic Acello]: tried to look at it that way and and so far it’s been it’s literally. I. I

[Dominic Acello]: I’d give that event

[Dominic Acello]: all of the credit for where I am today. Without question. It gave me a

[Dominic Acello]: perspective into my own life. What am I doing? What I value. what’s important

[Dominic Acello]: that I couldn’t have gotten from anything else. You know. It was like it had

[Dominic Acello]: to be ripped away to realize that

[Nick McGowan]: hey

[Dominic Acello]: it had no value to start off with all the materialism stuff. And then it’s a

[Dominic Acello]: little more easier now navigating ’cause I’m not thinking about the stuff.

[Dominic Acello]: I’m just thinking about what I want to do and what makes me feel good.

[Dominic Acello]: You know. Um, so yeah, most people don’t know I went through that and it’s a

[Dominic Acello]: little deeper than that. I mean it was like literally an eight year

[Dominic Acello]: struggle. Um, Of you know, you could probably figure it out by just how I’m

[Dominic Acello]: explaining it, but you know, going out too much, not handling my emotions by

[Dominic Acello]: dealing with them, but covering them up, you know, and uh, the other thing

[Dominic Acello]: That’s really interesting about it. It was also a pattern or a behavior that

[Dominic Acello]: I replicated that another family member also had. So my, um, another close

[Dominic Acello]: family member had went through a very similar thing at literally the same

[Dominic Acello]: age, um, and had basically lost everything due to very similar reasons. And

[Dominic Acello]: Then I. I found myself. I literally followed those exact same footsteps. and

[Dominic Acello]: um, you know it is what it is. It’s like I. I don’t regret it because, and I

[Dominic Acello]: would never take it back because I like where I’m at now and I can’t. I

[Dominic Acello]: couldn’t have been here without that, you know, So it’s uh, you know, it’s

[Dominic Acello]: one of those real interesting scenarios where it’s not the easiest thing to

[Dominic Acello]: go talk to everybody about. but it is. It definitely is a story. I think

[Dominic Acello]: that is valuable

[Dominic Acello]: to other people in those scenarios ’cause you know daunted with the task of

[Dominic Acello]: rebuilding your life in your mid thirties, Um, I, I just never thought I was

[Dominic Acello]: going to get it all back together and it happened faster and I got in a

[Dominic Acello]: better position within a year or two than I had ever been up until then. You

[Dominic Acello]: know, So it’s it’s definitely mindset, It’s definitely W. your clarity of

[Dominic Acello]: focus. What are you really trying to do? You know? Are you motivated to do

[Dominic Acello]: good at work Because you want a car to show off to somebody right, Because

[Dominic Acello]: That’s not really good. Um, I mean as as long as as much as feeling

[Dominic Acello]: fulfillment you know, Um, So like I, I, I had a struggle through all of that

[Dominic Acello]: and um, then losing all of it was really the what I needed to realize that

[Dominic Acello]: it really didn’t have much value to start off with, you know, so,

[Nick McGowan]: it sucks to think that sometimes you have to lose everything or sometimes you have

[Nick McGowan]: to get your ass kicked to be able to realize that something’s happening i think

[Nick McGowan]: i’ve said

[Dominic Acello]: Mhm.

[Nick McGowan]: this on a different podcast it may have just been in a client call or something but

[Nick McGowan]: sometimes you’re not aware of the problem until you actually are made aware of the

[Nick McGowan]: fucking problem just like when you wake up in the middle of the night and you’re

[Nick McGowan]: like man i got to go take a piss it’s dumb o’clock in the morning forgot about that

[Dominic Acello]: Yeah,

[Nick McGowan]: chair that’s there but the little pinkie show didn’t you know but you’re still made

[Nick McGowan]: aware of that stuff so no matter what that reset looks like if it’s some crazy

[Nick McGowan]: addiction that drives you to the ground but doesn’t actually kill you or some

[Nick McGowan]: business failure or marriage or whatever it is somebody had said it was actually

[Nick McGowan]: adrian on a previous episode that his coach has talked about the splat moment the

[Nick McGowan]: splat experience

[Nick McGowan]: somebody has to go spat for them to

[Dominic Acello]: rock bottom.

[Nick McGowan]: do something yeah so

[Nick McGowan]: sometimes those are the best experiences we can have but if you think about it you

[Nick McGowan]: being fifteen twenty years ago if you’re like hey here’s the deal you’re gonna do

[Nick McGowan]: all this wild shit it’s gonna be real and hurt for a little while and then

[Nick McGowan]: everything’s gonna be ripped away

[Nick McGowan]: you may have looked at things differently but then again you may not have so let’s

[Nick McGowan]: separate

[Dominic Acello]: Not

[Nick McGowan]: from

[Nick McGowan]: the being thankful that you went through that and let’s step back into what led to

[Nick McGowan]: that reset that looking back at now you go oh man i should have done these things

[Nick McGowan]: different so therefore i do

[Dominic Acello]: you know, so I, I’m getting to a point in my life As I’m getting older, I am

[Dominic Acello]: about. I’m thirty nine. I turn forty next month in April, and I’m starting

[Dominic Acello]: to realize that in order to have an experience, you have to know both sides

[Dominic Acello]: of it.

[Nick McGowan]: hmm

[Dominic Acello]: pretty much from my experience. it’s like it has to happen that way so you

[Dominic Acello]: can’t know love without knowing

[Dominic Acello]: you know the opposite or the inverse of that.

[Nick McGowan]: the hatred

[Dominic Acello]: You can’t know strength without knowing no

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: strength. So I noticed that throughout my life I had bounced on these

[Dominic Acello]: extremes and I’m finally now coming into the middle and I was reading like a

[Dominic Acello]: a quote from somebody the other day. That was saying that You know you

[Dominic Acello]: can’t find balance until you find your extremes, because you don’t know

[Dominic Acello]: where the balance

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: is. then. So I, I, I have. I’ve always been a very high energy individual.

[Dominic Acello]: I’ve always, you know, felt I can do anything I put my mind to, you know, my

[Dominic Acello]: mother is um, uh, practices meditation and yoga and was living in an ohram

[Dominic Acello]: before I was even born. So I was brought up with a lot of that mentality.

[Dominic Acello]: and especially from her. she always let me know that that was the case.

[Dominic Acello]: Um, I was also an only child. So I, I, you know was probably you would have

[Dominic Acello]: talked to me fifteen years ago and I would have been someone you would have

[Dominic Acello]: thought is very full of themselves because I, I had that feeling and that

[Dominic Acello]: knowing, but it was positioned where it was. I’m better than anything else

[Dominic Acello]: where it’s not like that. It’s I see it, as it’s like an energy play where

[Dominic Acello]: we all have the ability to manipulate and work with this creative landscape

[Dominic Acello]: that we have, and it all comes from what we can see first. So if we don’t

[Dominic Acello]: have clarity on what we’re moving toward, we can move the physical around

[Dominic Acello]: and build it up. And S. put a bunch of it in a room and say that, look at

[Dominic Acello]: all my stuff, but you’re not. You’re not really like working with it in that

[Dominic Acello]: aspect. You know, Um, or you, or it’s like you’re only kind of working with

[Dominic Acello]: part of it or the surface of it. Um,

[Dominic Acello]: so, uh, you know that that all of these different scenarios that I think

[Dominic Acello]: anybody goes through especially for myself, Um, I, I felt like it was

[Dominic Acello]: imperative for me to learn and feel those extremes at the time. Of course,

[Dominic Acello]: you can’t make any sense of it right, because you only know one perspective,

[Dominic Acello]: and then as you go through it, your perspective opens

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: up. and um, you know I find that that that’s That’s kind of what I see now

[Dominic Acello]: Is that from me, I’ve gone. I mean, as far as going on extremes, Okay, I’ve

[Dominic Acello]: been to every extreme you could possibly imagine That was within my what I

[Dominic Acello]: was trying to do right. So if I wanted to be the go out guy, I was the guy

[Dominic Acello]: that just overdid it way over. Did it? Okay where you know? I go out Friday

[Dominic Acello]: and I’d come back Sunday, you know it was. It was just always overdoing

[Dominic Acello]: everything I worked. I worked, you know, eighteen hours a day, and in a year

[Dominic Acello]: and a half number one sales guy at this all you know, all these things, but

[Dominic Acello]: they weren’t healthy the way I was doing it. It was almost like Uh, I was

[Dominic Acello]: trying desperately to get that feeling. I know that I, I should feel and I

[Dominic Acello]: want to feel, but I was completely going out it the wrong way, you know, and

[Dominic Acello]: when I was younger, I don’t think you can at least for myself. I can’t speak

[Dominic Acello]: for anybody else, but I couldn’t. You can’t see that you know. You can’t

[Dominic Acello]: really see that until you kind of start to mature more, and and start to

[Dominic Acello]: realize what’s what’s here Right, And the things that I thought were

[Dominic Acello]: valuable before actually brought all the bad people into

[Nick McGowan]: hmm

[Dominic Acello]: my life because they were also artificial. You know, and I, I see how would

[Dominic Acello]: all played off of each other. You

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: know, so it’s um, You know, it’s been an interesting experience for sure,

[Dominic Acello]: But um, you know I. I. I think that as part of like

[Dominic Acello]: finding yourself, you have to explore

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: right and you have to reach those things in order to find out where your

[Dominic Acello]: lane is. And and I feel like I’m just finally starting to see the lane and

[Dominic Acello]: I’m still wandering all over it. you know, but I’m getting it. I’m getting

[Dominic Acello]: it. I’m on it most of the time, but there are certain moments that I fall

[Dominic Acello]: off, and because I’m cognizant of of paying attention to this daily, I’d

[Dominic Acello]: noticed those. and then you know, sometimes there are things where I don’t

[Dominic Acello]: even know how I’m going to figure ‘ out like I’ll give you an example, So

[Dominic Acello]: You know I woke up yesterday. I feel great. Feel like I can take over the

[Dominic Acello]: world. I sit down and I get an email from. Um. I think it was Voyage

[Dominic Acello]: Magazine. They want to write an article on both me and Lisa. Um. that is,

[Dominic Acello]: Uh, for influential people, an inf, an influential series that they’re doing

[Dominic Acello]: and we were

[Dominic Acello]: recommended, so I was real

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: excited about that, so I’m putting a post up and I spent like fifteen

[Dominic Acello]: minutes right in this. It. I articulated it the way I wanted to, and then I

[Dominic Acello]: go to hit save and it just closes and I, I didn’t copy and paste it into a

[Dominic Acello]: word dock like I normally do right, because I do this kind of stuff for a

[Dominic Acello]: living, too, so like I know that happens a lot And then because I knew that

[Dominic Acello]: happened and I messed that up, I just spiral for like ten minutes like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: literally, this feeling comes up over me. My head starts pounding and I’m

[Dominic Acello]: like I could jump out of a window and it it feels like that would be a

[Dominic Acello]: better choice than anything else. Like I, I go instantly to this really bad

[Dominic Acello]: place, but I know now If I just alright, let me get through it, you know,

[Dominic Acello]: and then it goes away in like ten or fifty minutes, But it’s like extreme,

[Dominic Acello]: Um, and then what I’m starting to see, though, now it’s like

[Dominic Acello]: you can’t fix that for me while I’m in that state, it. it. It’s all about

[Dominic Acello]: how I am the other times that is allowing that state to kind of express

[Dominic Acello]: itself, So if I’m all like wound up it, it’s easier for it to catch up and

[Dominic Acello]: just flare up. But if I’m balanced and I’m doing what I’m supposed to be

[Dominic Acello]: doing like meditating and things along those lines. Um, I notice that

[Dominic Acello]: doesn’t happen. Yeah, know, it’s so like that was like this real subtleness

[Dominic Acello]: that I was battling with for the last year or two, and it’s like it’s not

[Dominic Acello]: like something that was killing me on a multiple times a day, but like once

[Dominic Acello]: or twice a week I’d get very worked up and I didn’t like it. I felt very

[Dominic Acello]: out of control. I didn’t like you know, I just didn’t like how you know I’m

[Dominic Acello]: want to articulate myself while during those moments I feel like I don’t

[Dominic Acello]: even know what I’m doing. They’re short lived, but I didn’t you know they

[Dominic Acello]: would feel, so you know it’s like it would take over and I at when I’m in

[Dominic Acello]: that headset I can’t see out of it, so it’s like I have to get out of it and

[Dominic Acello]: then I have to look at it and go Okay. What’s really making that happen and

[Dominic Acello]: I feel like it’s like these um, emotions I have from when I was younger that

[Dominic Acello]: tend to, and it’s probably ’cause they were undealt with things, ’cause I

[Dominic Acello]: had some traumatic stuff that happened when I was a kid. As far as like

[Dominic Acello]: family, you know, like I was saying before, there was substance abuse issues

[Dominic Acello]: and people leaving and me being too young for to understand what was going

[Dominic Acello]: on and I, um, and I never really dealt with those. I kind of blocked it out

[Dominic Acello]: like I really don’t even remember a lot of my childhood. I just

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: don’t remember it, so I’m sure that I’ll all start coming up at some point

[Dominic Acello]: now that I’m trying to look at it. But these little expressions still pop up

[Dominic Acello]: and I can tell they’re from that because it’s like a child. I. I get

[Dominic Acello]: childlike and my behavior’s like. No, I don’t want to do it, you know and I, I

[Dominic Acello]: feel like it’s It’s rooted in a child

[Dominic Acello]: perspective, So it’s you know. It’s like I’m just starting to see this kind

[Dominic Acello]: of stuff in the last couple of weeks. Um,

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: And it’s interesting you know, like I, I just never thought I’d be. You

[Dominic Acello]: know, at this point where I’m like writing down what I, you know, the the

[Dominic Acello]: little little nuances of things. I don’t like that. I do. where? If I? re,

[Dominic Acello]: you know, if I’m in a certain situation where you know

[Dominic Acello]: I might be. you know, at fault I, I get. Oh, my God, I’m sorry. I get very

[Dominic Acello]: like O, and like I could tell that too is from that and you know I don’t

[Dominic Acello]: like that because some most of the time I’m not have nothing to be sorry

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: about all right, but I still feel that way. So like, How do you not feel

[Dominic Acello]: like that? If it feels like you know when you touch a hot plate, your finger

[Dominic Acello]: burned and then you’re telling me to have it not feel like it’s gonna burn

[Dominic Acello]: it? Well it’s just there. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with

[Dominic Acello]: it, so like if it’s starting to see now that it’s not like it’s completely

[Dominic Acello]: out of my control. but there are things that lead up to it and you know,

[Dominic Acello]: Maybe that’s gonna be scarring that I’ll have forever. but

[Dominic Acello]: by working on myself more it doesn’t ever have to get in the way. you know.

[Dominic Acello]: Um, or maybe it completely goes away. Who knows, but you know right now I’m

[Dominic Acello]: okay if it never does, and if I could just learn how to become better from

[Dominic Acello]: all of that by you know, learning my own

[Dominic Acello]: place of balance or where I really should be. that would be a huge win out

[Dominic Acello]: of that scenario as it is. So yeah, I’m trying. you know, I think, like all

[Dominic Acello]: of us, you know, try to figure out why why we do the things we do sometimes

[Dominic Acello]: or why it’s so hard to change your, you know,

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: um, or, or set things that you could see other people do.

[Dominic Acello]: So it’s uh. it’s just all things I’m trying to work on You know.

[Nick McGowan]: you know i you say all people are trying to do this that’s not really the case not

[Nick McGowan]: everybody is not is that aware of those things even some people just get pissed off

[Nick McGowan]: and they’re like ah this printer and then it ruins their

[Dominic Acello]: true.

[Nick McGowan]: weak then they’re just like ah fuck everything cause the prints you know like

[Nick McGowan]: bridger bus you’re you didn’t copy and paste it into a word dock or a notepad that

[Nick McGowan]: happens the fact that you’re aware that you go i feel this welling up and then to

[Nick McGowan]: be able to have that awareness to step back not put your fist through a wall or

[Nick McGowan]: anything crazy like you may have done as a kid i can relate to that too you know

[Nick McGowan]: where there are certain situations that happen as a child that will flare up almost

[Nick McGowan]: like a pimple kind of coming out it’s just pushing

[Dominic Acello]: Yeah, exactly

[Nick McGowan]: up and coming out you nailed it though a lot of it has to do with little dom the

[Nick McGowan]: little little kid that is still upset about these those things that happened and

[Nick McGowan]: you got to be able to go back and sit down and watch the movie with that kid let’s

[Nick McGowan]: look at those situations that happened when we were seven were nine or ten or six

[Nick McGowan]: or whatever to be able to go through and figure that stuff out because i think that

[Nick McGowan]: truly is that inner child that comes up in those moments when you start to get

[Nick McGowan]: really pissed and there’s stuff that just automatically happens just like you

[Nick McGowan]: mentioned with hitting or touching a hot plate like you know when you touch that

[Nick McGowan]: you have that reflex that you pull back your body’s like oh this hurts this sucks

[Nick McGowan]: don’t do that

[Nick McGowan]: that sort of reflex can come up if there are things that are inside of you that

[Nick McGowan]: when a situation happens it goes oh and just automatically comes up and out pops

[Nick McGowan]: that eight year old kid that’s just really fucking upset so being able

[Dominic Acello]: yeah,

[Nick McGowan]: to have those conversations with yourself is huge but honestly it starts with the

[Nick McGowan]: awareness to go wait a minute this feels almost like a little kid

[Nick McGowan]: and being able to actually deal with that stuff so

[Nick McGowan]: how do you then go through and manage in those moments because i think this is the

[Nick McGowan]: sort of stuff that’s really

[Nick McGowan]: really palpable for the people listen to this it’s the how twos in those moments

[Nick McGowan]: because look i could probably pick a handful of people that i know that listen to

[Nick McGowan]: this and then people that i don’t know that listen to this that have the same shit

[Nick McGowan]: that happened we’re like yeah man me too this stuff will happen it’s just dumb

[Nick McGowan]: little that doesn’t need to make me irate and the next thing you know i’m just

[Nick McGowan]: furious and sometimes

[Dominic Acello]: And then it could ruin your day.

[Nick McGowan]: it’s easy yeah and it’s easy to just eat into it and you’re like i’m mad but while

[Nick McGowan]: i’m mad i’m just gonna be more mad it’s like just pull yourself the back and figure

[Nick McGowan]: that out so walk us through that how do you pull yourself back what’s what’s that

[Nick McGowan]: look like

[Dominic Acello]: How do I pull myself back? I got to be honest at this point. If I’m in that

[Dominic Acello]: state I, I can’t pull myself out of it until it expresses itself and I might

[Dominic Acello]: have to go like,

[Dominic Acello]: get like yell, and then literally I feel better. But if I don’t do something

[Nick McGowan]: hmm

[Dominic Acello]: like that like maybe I got to go to the gym or something, it’ll stay with me

[Dominic Acello]: for like an hour or two and then it’s just one little thing again. Well

[Dominic Acello]: it’ll flare it up again. But what I’m noticing like, So these are

[Dominic Acello]: the questions I asked myself when I started noticing that is it got in the

[Dominic Acello]: way like one one particular instance where I just that would have rather

[Dominic Acello]: that did not happen. because like I was late with some project I was working on

[Dominic Acello]: and Um,

[Dominic Acello]: the uh,

[Dominic Acello]: lost my train of thought for a second,

[Dominic Acello]: so

[Dominic Acello]: the scenario where that came up. So when I feel that way now what I have to

[Dominic Acello]: do and I’ve I, I know this for me at this point is I have to separate myself

[Dominic Acello]: from whatever I’m doing and then just sit down and ▁l and just get back down

[Nick McGowan]: hey

[Dominic Acello]: and don’t try. If I try to feel better, it doesn’t work ’cause then all of a

[Dominic Acello]: sudden my head picks up again and it’s like you’re a piece of

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: shit, but just digging into me over nothing, Right and I, I, I could see it

[Dominic Acello]: rationally like none of that makes sense. Head. Why are you saying that? Why

[Dominic Acello]: Do I actually feel like that? You know, and it’s like it. It’s all these

[Dominic Acello]: really defeating terms of. uh, you know you. you can’t do anything. you’re

[Dominic Acello]: not good enough. Look, you’re tried, but you failed like all. and it’s just

[Dominic Acello]: over and over

[Nick McGowan]: wow

[Dominic Acello]: and over. Um, So like I got a distance myself. Now how I realize that I, I’m

[Dominic Acello]: able to work through this now is that when I see that I’m anxious and like

[Dominic Acello]: if I have like three or four phone calls in a row during work and this pile

[Dominic Acello]: of works piling up and it’s almost six and I didn’t even get to started yet,

[Dominic Acello]: Th. that’s when I, I’m very receptive to that happening again, So when I,

[Dominic Acello]: what I’m starting to do now is when I see that happening that precursor to

[Dominic Acello]: it. I, it’s much easier when I’m there to calm myself down. But the minute

[Dominic Acello]: that thing spirals and

[Nick McGowan]: hey

[Dominic Acello]: and and pops off, it’s like I have to just wait it out. It’s like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: a storm, but now I can see the storm coming more clearly and the more I pay

[Dominic Acello]: attention to it I could. I can even see it steps and steps ahead. And and

[Dominic Acello]: That’s been very good for me. And then the other question that popped up was

[Dominic Acello]: if I can allow a bad thought for me to grab it and really like amplify it

[Dominic Acello]: like you were just saying. Why don’t I do that with good

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Dominic Acello]: thoughts, And what could that do for me? Um, and I, I’ve been trying to play

[Dominic Acello]: around with that a lot because you know I’m a very big advocate. I mean, I

[Dominic Acello]: personally believe as truth, without question

[Dominic Acello]: that the intention or consciousness is complexed with this reality in ways

[Dominic Acello]: that we can’t see. you know. and I’ve been through it enough where I. I’ve

[Dominic Acello]: seen just that when I have a

[Dominic Acello]: A, A, A shift in how I’m feeling and what I’m looking toward all of a

[Dominic Acello]: Suddenly, they start appearing right and we see like quantum physics. Now

[Dominic Acello]: that intention literally does change how they. You know things at the atomic

[Dominic Acello]: level, or you know at the quantum physics level it it changes how it it

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: operates and how it behaves, So I believe that to be absolutely true. So

[Dominic Acello]: when I don’t feel good or I’m thinking negatively, I’m trying to get out of

[Dominic Acello]: that as quick as possible, because I don’t want it to echo back

[Nick McGowan]: it is

[Dominic Acello]: to me that negative feeling. but I notice also when I feel negative

[Dominic Acello]: that that negative feeling is often way more powerful feeling than when I

[Dominic Acello]: feel good. So I want my positive feelings to be that loud so I can try to

[Dominic Acello]: echo more good stuff back. So that’s what I’ve been trying to work on. You

[Dominic Acello]: know, Um, because I don’t and I really try to keep it down like I’m not in a

[Dominic Acello]: bad mood for more than an hour. you know, Um, because I’m scared that it’s

[Dominic Acello]: going to ruin other things I’ve been working on You know. um,

[Nick McGowan]: sure you don’t want perpetuate it at that point and

[Dominic Acello]: yeah,

[Nick McGowan]: then just live into it i think when you look at

[Nick McGowan]: the balance between the really really heavy negative and the really really

[Nick McGowan]: airy and uh happy positives

[Nick McGowan]: you can feel those negatives more because you know what that feels like and that

[Nick McGowan]: happens more often which is almost just easier to go hey you know what this feels

[Nick McGowan]: like come on in the water’s nice and warm it’s all full of hatred in here and you

[Nick McGowan]: jump in and then it’s just easier to be in there so you had mentioned earlier about

[Nick McGowan]: you have to kind of know those extremes to be able to understand where the middle

[Nick McGowan]: ground is you know

[Dominic Acello]: Mm,

[Nick McGowan]: no not everybody should get to the point where they’re about to die to understand

[Nick McGowan]: the extremes but sometimes you got to really understand what one side looks like as

[Nick McGowan]: opposed to the other so you can find that balance what you’re now walking us

[Nick McGowan]: through is how you get to that point and you can feel yourself getting to that

[Nick McGowan]: point you can see yourself almost getting to that point and if we break it down to

[Nick McGowan]: like a nanosecond a macro level and just take that in slow motion if you’re able to

[Nick McGowan]: feel that coming up and go wait stop

[Nick McGowan]: when it’s only about fifteen percentage up instead of it being ninety five percent

[Nick McGowan]: we’re about to tear into you and you and everything else around and being able to

[Nick McGowan]: pull back from that stuff thats huge man that’s a lot of awareness that some people

[Nick McGowan]: don’t have some people do and they just don’t know it and i think sometimes it

[Nick McGowan]: takes us actually breaking down what that process looks like you know all right so

[Nick McGowan]: as i feel like i’m getting frustrated what do i do in these times and i think

[Nick McGowan]: that’s where that little kid really is because when you think of the immaturity as

[Nick McGowan]: a child you don’t you don’t know how to handle stuff you know how to deal with

[Nick McGowan]: things somebody takes your ball and you you start crying you know

[Dominic Acello]: yeah,

[Nick McGowan]: somebody takes your bike and kicks it over and you kick him in the leg cause you

[Nick McGowan]: don’t know what to do as a little kid that little kid is still in there

[Nick McGowan]: dealing with those problems underneath so as you’re fighting with whatever you’re

[Nick McGowan]: fighting with and as as an adult your mind looks at it and you’re like i get it and

[Nick McGowan]: this isn’t really the end of the world but that little kid is like the world is

[Nick McGowan]: about to end

[Nick McGowan]: so what are you doing on the daily to be able to manage your mindset and prep for

[Nick McGowan]: those sort of times so that when you’re in it you go i can handle this better

[Dominic Acello]: so you know, I’ll tell you what I know for me would be the absolute solution

[Dominic Acello]: is if I can be more diligent toward mindfulness meditation

[Dominic Acello]: right now, I know it so intimately. Um, you know, sadgrew weekend

[Dominic Acello]: courses on inner engineering where we sat in a room for four days and

[Dominic Acello]: meditated on any vegetables and didn’t talk. Um, and I know what that does for

[Dominic Acello]: me and it, and it it it. It’s what I’m looking for right like That’s the

[Dominic Acello]: clarity I want. But yet it’s so damn hard to

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: get consistent with it for me for some reason because of the external

[Dominic Acello]: aspects right. So I, I, That’s probably one of the harder things that I’ve

[Dominic Acello]: been having to try to bring in consistently,

[Dominic Acello]: and it really shouldn’t be right. Like logically. Okay, I just need ten

[Dominic Acello]: minutes, fifteen minutes in the morning, and then I need ten or fifteen

[Dominic Acello]: minutes at night. Like no big deal. I barely watch T. V. I can very easily

[Dominic Acello]: do that, but I, nah, I’ll do it tomorrow. you know, I don’t know why I keep

[Dominic Acello]: doing that. So what? What’s interesting just to show alone had for not

[Dominic Acello]: forced me, but made me want to do that last night this morning. So I just

[Dominic Acello]: make sure I’m calm today. so I’m gonna try to ride with that and

[Dominic Acello]: continue to do that. Um, but yeah, that that for me is the hard part is

[Dominic Acello]: actually bringing that in because I am in my normal state. and what makes me well,

[Dominic Acello]: At least what I think makes me good at what I do is that I’m quick. I’m

[Dominic Acello]: I’m I’m able to think fast and be able to respond fast and’ able to get it

[Dominic Acello]: all done. And you y, you can’t like that state is very opposite of that. By

[Dominic Acello]: the end of the

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: day, you know like you can. I, I can do that mindful for a little while, but

[Dominic Acello]: sometimes when it’s like messages beeps this, somebody’s knocking at the

[Dominic Acello]: door. I got an employee sitting behind me waiting to get off the phone so he

[Dominic Acello]: knows what to do. I’m just running,

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: you know, And then that’s when it usually spirals out by the end of the

[Dominic Acello]: night, because I’m just wrapped up in my head. That’s really the main thing,

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: and I know if I can get myself more outside and and in a more balanced state

[Dominic Acello]: like from a mental perspective where I’m not just crunching in my head all

[Dominic Acello]: day. Um, that doesn’t happen. so so to me, the the main solution of what I’m

[Dominic Acello]: working now more diligently with is to bring those things in. You know, so

[Dominic Acello]: whether it’s meditation, I want to start doing yoga a couple of days a week,

[Dominic Acello]: ’cause you know I’m getting old. I sit in a chair all day. I go to the gym

[Dominic Acello]: six days a week. I’m in good shape. you know when you look at me, but I, I

[Dominic Acello]: can. I can’t touch my two hands. I can barely touch my feet like I’m not.

[Dominic Acello]: You know. I’m not flexible and that, I know that when things break, you know

[Dominic Acello]: and I remember hearing. Um, it might have been Sadgru, who was saying this,

[Dominic Acello]: but you know, like a flexible tree, you know that’s very flexible doesn’t

[Dominic Acello]: break

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: in the storm. You know what I mean. Um, where one that’s all dried out and

[Dominic Acello]: and not flexible Is easy to break. Uh, you know, under pressure, so you

[Dominic Acello]: know those aspects, which again when I was younger, none of that I didn’t

[Dominic Acello]: care about any

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Dominic Acello]: of that you know at all. And now it’s like that. By the mastery

[Dominic Acello]: point, I want to have full not control, because I don’t like that word. but

[Dominic Acello]: I I wanna be able to not be

[Dominic Acello]: limited by

[Dominic Acello]: things that I have control over to not be limited

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: by you know, and I see those things now pop up more and more and you know

[Dominic Acello]: I’m working on addressing those you know. So it. that’s the hardest part

[Dominic Acello]: for me. Uh, but the mindfulness aspect is definitely what I found to be.

[Dominic Acello]: Without question. the answer you know, ’cause everything, that’s when I

[Dominic Acello]: don’t feel good. It’s because it’s simply I’m comparing something to

[Dominic Acello]: something else and it’s not what I want. And but if I look at what’s

[Dominic Acello]: around me, it’s the same shit that was around me yesterday. Nothing’s

[Dominic Acello]: changed. Nobody took something away that I made me feel like it’s the same

[Dominic Acello]: stuff. So why do I not feel good Now it’s just my perspective on the

[Dominic Acello]: scenario, which is again me wrapped up in my head, Right if I’m thinking

[Dominic Acello]: about it, But if I’m just being and like looking around, there’s really no

[Dominic Acello]: problems. If anything, there’s like you can’t even find a

[Nick McGowan]: this is

[Dominic Acello]: problem. you know. Um, there’s not even a, not even a a pretend problem

[Dominic Acello]: around. So

[Nick McGowan]: i

[Dominic Acello]: you know that tends to be what I’m starting to realize. Um, you know,

[Dominic Acello]: sometimes it’s harder than others, like when I’m busy and I have all this

[Dominic Acello]: stuff stacked up on me. It’s very hard for me to like

[Dominic Acello]: get a

[Dominic Acello]: a response out that sometimes isn’t automatic, you know, ’cause I’m very

[Dominic Acello]: used to. I mean you, You’re probably known for being on sales calls a lot. you

[Dominic Acello]: now. You get these automatic responses where you really don’t. even you

[Dominic Acello]: know what you’re saying, but

[Dominic Acello]: you’re not really. You’re not really there right. It’s like bla bla, bla,

[Nick McGowan]: yeah just coming out

[Dominic Acello]: bla, blah, um, and then I, I bring that into other things in my life. You

[Dominic Acello]: know where I’m like. If I’m at the gym and I’m in that headset all of a

[Dominic Acello]: Suddenly, I realized I’ve pulled the muscle ’cause I wasn’t paying attention. I

[Dominic Acello]: was thinking about this phone call while I was doing drugs or something, And

[Dominic Acello]: it like it’s just being wrapped up in my head is usually what leads to all

[Dominic Acello]: of the things I don’t like that happen in my circumstances, which should be

[Dominic Acello]: something I can control or or manage better, so that that’s where I’m my

[Dominic Acello]: main focus is Nowadays, it’s not about I. I still try to get a lot done, but

[Dominic Acello]: it’s not like I don’t think getting more done is necessarily go to really do

[Dominic Acello]: anything other than if I’m enjoying what I’m doing. I want to do that.

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Dominic Acello]: I’m having fun, but I even think doing less, but being in a better headset

[Dominic Acello]: will actually yield better scenarios for anybody. because I, I think there’s

[Dominic Acello]: so much

[Dominic Acello]: on that aspect, the intention how you’re feeling what you’re projecting out

[Dominic Acello]: into the world. where, if um, you’re not paying attention to that and

[Dominic Acello]: nothing’s changed in the last six years, and you’re going in a circle. Y,

[Dominic Acello]: You know why? Because nothing’s changing. You didn’t set any goals. You’re

[Dominic Acello]: you’re what do you want to do? You’re like I don’t know well. That’s what

[Dominic Acello]: life’s giving your back. Is a bunch of static.

[Nick McGowan]: go ahead

[Dominic Acello]: or you know the same thing over and over again, So that’s another thing. I use

[Dominic Acello]: to also see where my headset is. If I haven’t had any things that I felt

[Dominic Acello]: very excited about that are either coming up or things I just did or or

[Dominic Acello]: whatever. And like it feels like I’m doing the same thing over and over

[Dominic Acello]: again for a couple of months I got a topic. Okay, what am I doing wrong?

[Dominic Acello]: here? you know what I mean, because I feel like I. I, as we all should like

[Dominic Acello]: the universe in a sense is always expanding So when all of a sudden that

[Dominic Acello]: expanding stops like All right, What did I do? What happened right? And I

[Dominic Acello]: look around Because when I first had, you know, started out of that

[Dominic Acello]: situation where I was starting from scratch. it was just

[Dominic Acello]: and it kept happening and it was like and then it would get scary like Oh,

[Dominic Acello]: this can’t go on forever. And then, sure enough, it doesn’t right. So like

[Dominic Acello]: the minute I get aware of it and I realized it’s like you know it’s a play

[Dominic Acello]: on so many things. Um, and you, you can’t really put your finger on any of

[Dominic Acello]: it because it’s not anything you could put your

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: finger on. Um, but I do see that in my own life enough that, Um that I know

[Dominic Acello]: that to be true for me, you know.

[Nick McGowan]: yeah that’s why it all boils down to the mindset i think if your intention and your

[Nick McGowan]: mindset is in a positive direction as opposed to a negative direction just thinking

[Nick McGowan]: black and white with things like what are the building blocks then at least you can

[Nick McGowan]: start to head in that direction and other opportunities will come to you without

[Nick McGowan]: getting into the

[Nick McGowan]: complete depths of all of this and the metaphysical and the quantum realms and all

[Nick McGowan]: of that i think just by putting out that positivity one automatically shuts down

[Nick McGowan]: the negativity because you can’t actually deal with both at the same time you can’t

[Dominic Acello]: Mhm.

[Nick McGowan]: be extremely happy

[Nick McGowan]: and extremely upset guess unless there’s bipolar or something like that but that’s

[Nick McGowan]: not a simul thing that’s happening it’s not something that just happens right at

[Nick McGowan]: the same time so even if you focus on that stuff and you kind of work through like

[Nick McGowan]: what else is happening what’s positive about this that’s why i suggest to people

[Nick McGowan]: journaling simple journaling you don’t have to write a fridge in thesis or anything

[Nick McGowan]: just put a couple things out what are some of the things you’re grateful for what

[Nick McGowan]: are some of the things that were wins that you had even if it was stupid little

[Nick McGowan]: things then there are certain times where i do it where some of some days i’m like

[Nick McGowan]: i don’t think there was really many winds’ start writing them out i’m like well

[Nick McGowan]: this is when so when i shit i did this oh my god i did it was a lot better than

[Nick McGowan]: what i thought it was and then your head’s in a better spot you know what i mean

[Dominic Acello]: Yeah,

[Nick McGowan]: there are certain times where i think we do need to be in those seasons where the

[Nick McGowan]: season of just head down you’re working through stuff you’re building things but

[Nick McGowan]: you also touched on being able to be balanced within just having some time for

[Nick McGowan]: yourself you know i’m i’m anti the whole hustle culture

[Nick McGowan]: probably because i lived it for quite some time where that’s all i did and it just

[Nick McGowan]: drove me crazy

[Nick McGowan]: and it’s not about hustling it’s not even about results it’s about the process and

[Nick McGowan]: doing things daily that actually will consistently deliver opportunities that will

[Nick McGowan]: give you greater results

[Nick McGowan]: where some people don’t think about the ten fifteen minutes in the morning in the

[Nick McGowan]: evening like you do so even kind of spending some time the time that you do spend

[Nick McGowan]: it’s better than nothing you know so it sounded like you were kind of beating

[Nick McGowan]: yourself up a little bit about the ten or fifteen minutes but man honestly i think

[Nick McGowan]: most people are in that spot where even if they sit down they’re like i’m gonna

[Nick McGowan]: meditate for fifteen minutes they might get two minutes in and they’ve already had

[Nick McGowan]: four hundred different thoughts like stuff

[Dominic Acello]: Mhm.

[Nick McGowan]: will just roll through their head but it’s like uh it’s like going to the gym

[Nick McGowan]: you’ve gotta stretch that

[Dominic Acello]: Yeah,

[Nick McGowan]: muscle you gotta keep it going and if you miss a day

[Nick McGowan]: all right go back to the next day start it over again the next day so for people

[Nick McGowan]: that are kind of going through that now and fighting through that

[Nick McGowan]: how would you suggest that they they manage their mindset through those tough times

[Nick McGowan]: and what sort of tips would you give them

[Dominic Acello]: so

[Dominic Acello]: with the meditation aspect so like the part that’s been hared is literally

[Dominic Acello]: sitting down to do it like I. T even I bear. I do that once or twice a week

[Dominic Acello]: when I want to do it six

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: days a week. So I’m trying to be a little bit more diligent with myself. And

[Dominic Acello]: and I know I, I don’t know why I’m having a block toward it. For some

[Dominic Acello]: reason, um, and, and I, for me, it’s also connected to family

[Nick McGowan]: hmm yeah

[Dominic Acello]: stuff, because my mother was always meditating. So like there’s this little

[Dominic Acello]: kid in me. That’s like not. I want to

[Dominic Acello]: meditate because she always wanted me to meditate. Yeah, and it’s weird

[Nick McGowan]: that’s probably where the block is

[Dominic Acello]: ’cause I can see those things you know. and then I’ll even notice that I

[Dominic Acello]: react differently to situations if my my girlfriend is home or if she’s not,

[Dominic Acello]: and I go. Wow, that’s interesting. Why am I acting like a baby when she’s

[Dominic Acello]: home and when I’m not here, I just get it done

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: and I’m like Wow. That’s really interesting. ’cause like I’m not getting

[Dominic Acello]: anything out of it. You know what? I mean. I’m not doing like she’s not

[Dominic Acello]: changing her behavior because of that, but I notice that that happens. so

[Dominic Acello]: like that’s another weird scenario. Um, but with meditation. Um, like if

[Dominic Acello]: I sit down for ten minutes to meditate, I’ll hear. I mean, obviously, your

[Dominic Acello]: head’s still going like you’re in a state where if you haven’t been doing it

[Dominic Acello]: and now you’re just introducing it, Um, you gotta stop that momentum right.

[Dominic Acello]: and the momentum is, I can compare it to like a train. Um. it. it’s not easy

[Dominic Acello]: to just stop. It doesn’t just stop and you have to be gentle with it. So

[Dominic Acello]: what I’ve seen work well and through other practices is to try to pay

[Dominic Acello]: attention to breathing. Okay, because the breathing kind of brings you into

[Dominic Acello]: the body, and then the minute that, or even feel your toes with your eyes

[Dominic Acello]: closed, and then work up to your legs, work up, realize that you can feel

[Dominic Acello]: your legs. Oh wow, I can feel that. What should I do? You know? And then you

[Dominic Acello]: kinda get into

[Nick McGowan]: no

[Dominic Acello]: that you’re just feeling your existence and then you can work through

[Dominic Acello]: different parts of your body and that usually helps me a lot to start to

[Dominic Acello]: slow down. Um, because you know thoughts will pop up and then you just want

[Dominic Acello]: to try to recognize that and then just go okay back to the breathing and

[Dominic Acello]: you’ll probably be doing that all the time. Um, like, even when I was

[Dominic Acello]: meditating really heavy for a couple of months

[Dominic Acello]: within ten or fifteen minutes, I definitely didn’t just sit there for ten or

[Dominic Acello]: fifteen minutes with no thoughts in my head. It was identifying when that

[Dominic Acello]: popped up again, and then gently went back. You know,

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: Um, but that space that you

[Dominic Acello]: that you work on over and over again where your head is now being used more

[Dominic Acello]: like a tool. Um, so like I’ve even heard, there was some old ancient

[Dominic Acello]: societies that would consider that we had six senses with thought being one

[Dominic Acello]: of them. Um, that it should be used as a tool. and as we wor walkthrough

[Dominic Acello]: this world that our main state is to be aware and just be right.

[Dominic Acello]: It’s even in our name human beings, right, like the. It’s but something

[Dominic Acello]: we’re supposed to remember that most people.

[Dominic Acello]: it’s very difficult

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: to, especially in this society.

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: But the more I do that if I just do that ten minutes in the morning, and at

[Dominic Acello]: night I noticed that that how my head operates it, it brings it with it

[Dominic Acello]: throughout the day. And that’s the benefit.

[Dominic Acello]: Um, because, I’ll you know, I get really analytical with things right, So

[Dominic Acello]: like when I’m when I’m working on something and I know it should take me an

[Dominic Acello]: hour, but it didn’t And then I go look and I, okay. What did I just do for

[Dominic Acello]: the last hour? For twenty minutes? I was off on a tangent and I didn’t

[Dominic Acello]: realize it until the twenty minutes happened and I pulled

[Nick McGowan]: six

[Dominic Acello]: myself back in, but for twenty minutes I didn’t realize what I was doing

[Dominic Acello]: like that. That’s insanity to me, but I think that that happens with everybody.

[Dominic Acello]: I’m pretty sure. Um, so like when I see those moments. That meditation is

[Dominic Acello]: what helps that not to happen because you’re more aware of what’s going on

[Dominic Acello]: in your mind because you were trying to pay attention to it when you’re

[Dominic Acello]: meditating. Um, so even if you’re not successful with keeping your head

[Dominic Acello]: ▁quiet, the whole time I, I’ve never been able to do it for a full ten

[Dominic Acello]: minutes, but just the awareness of it now brings that whole new perspective

[Dominic Acello]: into your daily life where you’re just paying attention more of what your’

[Dominic Acello]: thinking And I think that’s the benefit there you know.

[Nick McGowan]: they are

[Dominic Acello]: And it’s everything that stems off of my happiness. you don’t feel

[Dominic Acello]: suffering cause. suffering a mind state right. I mean, obviously pain and

[Dominic Acello]: and stuff like that you can start to. You know you can say that’s tough. but

[Dominic Acello]: as far as suffering, because you, you know, this guy has more than me.

[Dominic Acello]: I don’t have this everythings you know like that’s all just wrapped up in

[Dominic Acello]: the head. So um, I find the more I do that, the less that happens. Um, but

[Dominic Acello]: it’s like with anything like the gym practice.

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Dominic Acello]: You know for sure, you know, and it’s probably similar to. It’s like once

[Dominic Acello]: you do it for a month and you’re getting into the gym. That’s about how long

[Dominic Acello]: it takes to get that into a habit. but I, I still struggle with it today,

[Dominic Acello]: you know, but I say it and I talk about it because I also don’t want to be

[Dominic Acello]: um, someone that just talks about things and never does them. So like by me

[Dominic Acello]: putting it out there. I, now I’m on the hook to to to match that

[Nick McGowan]: two

[Dominic Acello]: you know, so I. I, I like doing those types of things too, where I’m very

[Dominic Acello]: vocal about how I’m feeling and what I’m trying to do. So with my own

[Dominic Acello]: standards, I know I like to be a man of my word. So if I said it, Ah, now I

[Dominic Acello]: have to do it all right. Let’s do it,

[Nick McGowan]: well hundreds of billions of people listen to this

[Dominic Acello]: You know, But those are some of the little tricks that I use.

[Nick McGowan]: yeah so

[Dominic Acello]: you know,

[Nick McGowan]: there’s so many people listen to this you’re now on the hook the entire universe is

[Nick McGowan]: listening dumb so uh

[Nick McGowan]: you’ve got the the pressure the whole whole universe totally kidding

[Nick McGowan]: i i think there’s there’s something to be said about

[Nick McGowan]: when you shift from what you want to do when you’re like i’m gonna meditate because

[Nick McGowan]: i know it’s healthy for me to do but then next thing you know you’re doing

[Nick McGowan]: something else like there’s a reason why you did that you know and you kind of

[Nick McGowan]: touched on some of it like maybe it was your mom or there was something that’s

[Nick McGowan]: still there that kind of directs you to something else i find the same thing like

[Nick McGowan]: i’ll sit on the back porch my g cool i’m gonna do a meditation i’m going to do a

[Nick McGowan]: guided meditation so that i can

[Dominic Acello]: Mhm,

[Nick McGowan]: stick to this and just make sure i get through the fifteen twenty minutes then next

[Nick McGowan]: thing you know i’m looking at some app on my phone and i’m like i haven’t looked at

[Nick McGowan]: this thing in like a year why why are you up well all right now go back to

[Nick McGowan]: meditation and then i’m on my ipad and i’m like how the fuck did i get here and

[Nick McGowan]: that stuff will just happen but i think we have to kind of figure out like why why

[Nick McGowan]: am i doing that and i’ve had similar situations happen before where i’m like what

[Nick McGowan]: is it why am i trying to find other things and i think once we start asking the

[Nick McGowan]: questions i mean you can even see back here qb q the book question behind the

[Nick McGowan]: question it’s all about getting deeper and deeper and going well why well why well

[Nick McGowan]: why well why

[Nick McGowan]: so those things that you’re fighting with right now subconsciously even fighting

[Nick McGowan]: with sit down with them go through them figure that out because it might be

[Nick McGowan]: something that you go oh man i’m hesitant to do that because i’m afraid of this

[Nick McGowan]: thing or i’m hesitant to do it because you don’t pick anything else but i think

[Nick McGowan]: once you actually

[Dominic Acello]: No,

[Nick McGowan]: sit down and explore through it you’re on the right path of looking through and

[Nick McGowan]: saying all right well is it something from my past is it something from when i was

[Nick McGowan]: a child

[Nick McGowan]: and s sitting down and going through that and actually separating those from what

[Nick McGowan]: you’re doing now where you’re at and who you are now is different than who you were

[Nick McGowan]: as that little kid but that’s still also past and present

[Nick McGowan]: so more that you can be present that’s ultimately what meditation is about like i

[Dominic Acello]: Oh yeah,

[Nick McGowan]: i talk about meditation and journaling and all that sort of stuff on this podcast

[Nick McGowan]: and i i don’t want somebody to come up to me at some point be like oh my god you

[Nick McGowan]: must meditate for like hours and hours and hours because that is not the case maybe

[Nick McGowan]: at some point it will be but that’s not real right now you know i

[Dominic Acello]: Mhm,

[Nick McGowan]: just do what i can during those times but i think it takes us also being

[Nick McGowan]: accountable so there’s stuff like with your girlfriend being home you might be a

[Nick McGowan]: little different i’m sure there’s positive and negative sides of that like there

[Nick McGowan]: may be times where you almost look at her like a mom where you’re like i don’t want

[Nick McGowan]: to upset her cause i don’t want to upset mom there are other times you step up and

[Nick McGowan]: you’re like i’m man of the house i’ve got to take care of this thing for us and

[Nick McGowan]: we’re totally good that’s a whole

[Dominic Acello]: Mhm,

[Nick McGowan]: different even bodily posture at that point

[Nick McGowan]: so being aware is the biggest thing of all of us meditation whatever it is that we

[Nick McGowan]: do we gotta be aware of this stuff so on the topic of awareness let’s actually jump

[Nick McGowan]: into a couple of the key moments in life are there any major episodes or things

[Nick McGowan]: that happen over the course of time that you can look back at and go man right now

[Nick McGowan]: i’m aware that that was a moment that changed me

[Dominic Acello]: So I mentioned a couple of these already. Um, on one of those moments I

[Dominic Acello]: remember, I’ll get a little more into detail on it where I just. um. I was in

[Dominic Acello]: Long Island City. I grew up in New York, right, so I’m working in Manhattan,

[Dominic Acello]: and I, uh, who knows? I probably had a hard day at work. It was night.

[Dominic Acello]: Um, I had a roommate that IS needed to put together in order to get this

[Dominic Acello]: specific apartment that was like on the twenty seventh floor, with Florida

[Dominic Acello]: ceiling windows overlooking Manhattan, right on the on the East River, and I

[Dominic Acello]: really had to fit the pieces together to make it all work. And then two

[Dominic Acello]: months in he ends up breaking his lease, Um, because he couldn’t and then

[Dominic Acello]: because I was trying to get this apartment so bad, I did the whole credit

[Dominic Acello]: check on my income. It was able to work that way and I got stuck with the

[Dominic Acello]: apartment and it was like four thousand dollars a month. Um, so like

[Dominic Acello]: Whatever, I could handle it. so but like a couple days later I come home and

[Dominic Acello]: I just came to this empty apartment with this beautiful view. It’s like onm

[Dominic Acello]: top of the world, but I felt horrible. It was empty. I was like the same it

[Dominic Acello]: And then like then what’s it? and I just got really, You know, and I just

[Dominic Acello]: started, kind of like the worst desperation you can feel when you realize

[Dominic Acello]: like you were on a uh, five mile journey and you were going in the wrong

[Dominic Acello]: direction

[Nick McGowan]: two

[Dominic Acello]: the whole time you know. It’s

[Dominic Acello]: You know, and it. I. It took me eight years to get around that, but that

[Dominic Acello]: moment I mean, I remember what it even looked like. I remember walking into

[Dominic Acello]: the apartment. It was dark and the city looked beautiful and I was just sad.

[Dominic Acello]: you know, um,

[Dominic Acello]: really

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: sad. and uh that’s then. I kinda just I used that to be a a real hassle

[Dominic Acello]: for a while, too,

[Nick McGowan]: hey

[Dominic Acello]: Um, because I thought I was. You know, at that point in my time I, it was

[Dominic Acello]: very different mentality than I have today. you know, I. I, today, Im. I, I

[Dominic Acello]: believe everything that we see is also part of us in some way, Um. and if we

[Dominic Acello]: like hurt somebody, uh, or or don’t, E, if you even moved through the world

[Dominic Acello]: unconsciously somehow that comes back to you. you know, Um, and um it it.

[Dominic Acello]: It’s all very much in our control When most of our life we’ve been told that

[Dominic Acello]: you know things happened to you. They don’t happen through you. Um, So that

[Dominic Acello]: that moment was definitely a turning point. You know, it was like an early

[Dominic Acello]: midlife crisis because of it. it definitely beat me up until it took me out And

[Dominic Acello]: Then the other thing is that it. it. really

[Dominic Acello]: I. I was. I was at a point where I should have already had this like rock

[Dominic Acello]: bottom for a while, but I was able to mask it and hide it

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: so well For so many years. nobody realized what I was doing. Um, so it took a

[Dominic Acello]: lot for for it to hit rock bottom, And when I hit it was like you know,

[Dominic Acello]: fireworks on Fourth of July, type of thing. It was epic and I ruined a lot

[Dominic Acello]: of things. Um, but that moment too, I remember very specifically. Um,

[Dominic Acello]: because I, uh, you know, Six, seven years later sitting there in this

[Dominic Acello]: facility, Uh, and I didn’t have anything. I was in the middle of the winter.

[Dominic Acello]: I have shorts on socks and timberland boots, ’cause like I was running to

[Dominic Acello]: the store to get uh food, and that was the last thing I was wearing and I

[Dominic Acello]: was around a bunch of people that I didn’t think was anything like me And I

[Dominic Acello]: Think what am I doing? Um. So that was another very big aha moment and I

[Dominic Acello]: was forced to sit with that for quite a long time, like literally, long

[Dominic Acello]: time, Um, and I had to come to terms with it. You know, normally I used to

[Dominic Acello]: be a person that would have a very hard time sitting in a room

[Dominic Acello]: by

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dominic Acello]: myself. Um. I, it was uncomfortable like you know. there’s me. Don’t

[Dominic Acello]: I like it. Need distraction. Um. And then when I was kind of forced to do that

[Dominic Acello]: For a little while, Um, that was a very difficult time that I remember. But

[Dominic Acello]: then I also remember once I just let it go, And that’s when everything got

[Dominic Acello]: better Like from that point forward, because it was just like I can’t can’t

[Dominic Acello]: hold on to this anymore. It’s like there. It’s me holding on to it.

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: You know, and then I. I. it was so hard to continue holding it for so long

[Dominic Acello]: that I remember I just like gave up. and and and it wasn’t like giving up.

[Dominic Acello]: It was like a surrendering. and uh, I remember it very well and like that. I

[Dominic Acello]: was literally

[Dominic Acello]: the happiest I’ve probably ever been when I should have been the least happy

[Dominic Acello]: and I’ll still leave and look at moments those types of moments ’cause I had

[Dominic Acello]: nothing. I had nothing. No, I didn’t have a phone. nobody could call me, and

[Dominic Acello]: All of a sudden there was a big freedom in that, too. Um, where it was like,

[Dominic Acello]: Oh my God, I could just really be here because there’s ▁zero

[Dominic Acello]: distractions. I can’t even make one. Um,

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: and uh, I. I used that moment a lot. I would reflect on it because like I wa

[Dominic Acello]: to feel that happy all the time, and I, I have glimpses of it every you

[Dominic Acello]: know, pretty frequently, but I, I didn’t. I didn’t like embrace it or

[Dominic Acello]: live it like I was able to, then without the distraction. So you know that

[Dominic Acello]: tells me a couple of things right that

[Dominic Acello]: you know. At some point I need to also dial things down a little like I’m

[Dominic Acello]: transitioning what I’m doing for a living. I’m trying to do it. Um, trying to

[Dominic Acello]: change industries, move more into music and production and I, I know that’s

[Dominic Acello]: gonna be a little bit of a lot of work to transition that and I’m okay.

[Dominic Acello]: I’m want to do that, but I want to make sure that once that happens, that’s

[Dominic Acello]: not the pace I keep, you know, so I’m being very very specific To start

[Dominic Acello]: already. you know, Try to fix some of that now, but there are some days that

[Dominic Acello]: because I have the obligations during the day and the only other free time I

[Dominic Acello]: have it at night. I gotta. I gotta put it in,

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Dominic Acello]: you know, but I enjoy it. I love it. so like I also pay attention to when it

[Dominic Acello]: starts to feel like it’s me pushing up boulder

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: across the street. That’s when I got to stop and retool. and and sometimes I

[Dominic Acello]: just might need a night off. And then I feel great the next day

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dominic Acello]: again, but I try to pay attention to those aspects a lot. because

[Dominic Acello]: again, that’s all that mindfulness. you know. It’ like when you start trying

[Dominic Acello]: to bring yourself back to paying attention to what’s going on in your head,

[Dominic Acello]: you start to see all these other things you know, and then by seeing them,

[Dominic Acello]: That’s when you can change them. you know, But if you can’t see them, you

[Dominic Acello]: can’t. You don’t know they exist. And if I didn’t slow down to do those

[Dominic Acello]: things, I literally wouldn’t realize they were. I mean, it took me thirty

[Dominic Acello]: something years to even realize that was there to start

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Dominic Acello]: off with, You know. It’s like that. It was obvious, maybe to other people, but

[Dominic Acello]: I was looking right through it. You know, I wasn’t seeing it. And you can

[Dominic Acello]: need distance. you know, like if you’re looking at something like this, you

[Dominic Acello]: can’t see it once you get distance from it. Oh, okay, now I have perspective

[Dominic Acello]: and you can see it. Oh, it’s not as scary as I thought. You know. you need

[Dominic Acello]: to get yourself separated

[Nick McGowan]: he did

[Dominic Acello]: from things, Um, and that that That? that’s you know. To keep it simple,

[Dominic Acello]: too. I, I know it’s all based off of that, so then, my, my, my focus is also

[Dominic Acello]: singular. As far as how do I get more joy into my life. I just need more of

[Nick McGowan]: he

[Dominic Acello]: that. I need more space. I need more balance and I know that that that will

[Dominic Acello]: bring the rest. You know.

[Nick McGowan]: that is good stuff man oh our time is almost up and i want to be mindful of our

[Nick McGowan]: time i appreciate you being on is there anything else that you want to add uh that

[Nick McGowan]: you’d want to share to anybody that’s listening that’s on their path towards self

[Nick McGowan]: mastery

[Dominic Acello]: Yeah, you know, I mean, I’ve seen a lot of different, a lot of different

[Dominic Acello]: types of people throughout my life, as far as like, on different ends of the

[Dominic Acello]: spectrum. I’ve had friends that were multi, multi multi millionaires with

[Dominic Acello]: multiple houses all over the world and collectible cars in their office.

[Dominic Acello]: like ridiculous stuff. And then I’ve had friends where they’re They’re

[Dominic Acello]: They’re twenty something years old. The mother and them both live in

[Dominic Acello]: somebody’s house on the couch and are doing sexual stuff to to keep that s

[Dominic Acello]: location secure. And I’ve seen what that world looks like and

[Dominic Acello]: it it’s like

[Nick McGowan]: so

[Dominic Acello]: there’s some people out there where they’re They’re what they have to do to

[Dominic Acello]: overcome to get to that next level. It might be very hard to see from those

[Dominic Acello]: perspectives you know. and like me, I feel so bad because they’re all the S.

[Dominic Acello]: We’re all the same people like Th. They’re all little stockbrokers doing

[Dominic Acello]: That’s like I could see that these pe. they were the same personalities that

[Dominic Acello]: were in both spots, but the perspective was keeping them there. And it’s

[Dominic Acello]: like in order to get past that, it’s for or what I was always hoping that I

[Dominic Acello]: can help people like that with. was. Um that, just to try to show them that

[Dominic Acello]: there’s a weight that you can do it like I, I’ve been in that scenario where

[Dominic Acello]: I’ve had nothing. All the odds were stacked against me and I just continued

[Dominic Acello]: moving in that direction. and if you continue moving in a direction where

[Dominic Acello]: you have a very clear focus and things will come together. There’s not.

[Dominic Acello]: It’s only one foot, one step in in front of the other to make a journey

[Dominic Acello]: right, like when you’re going to, uh, you know from point a to point B.

[Dominic Acello]: Let’s say it’s New York to California. Um, and it’s at night right. All you

[Dominic Acello]: can see in front of you is as far as your headlights show, but you can make

[Dominic Acello]: it all the way across the country with just that little bit of just knowing

[Nick McGowan]: he

[Dominic Acello]: what the next step is, And I’ve heard that analogy from A A. An author

[Dominic Acello]: called Uh Abraham Hicks, or Uh Esther Hicks, Uh, she wrote the The law of

[Dominic Acello]: Attraction back in like the seventies, I think, or eighties, and that always

[Dominic Acello]: stuck with me Because like I know what the next step is like. If I want to

[Dominic Acello]: start a company and I don’t know anything about it, I have no financial

[Dominic Acello]: bearer. I didn’t finish high school. Let’s say, Um, that can sound

[Dominic Acello]: daunting, but the next step is well, how do I? How do I create the company?

[Dominic Acello]: Let me look that up, and then once you get there, the next step

[Nick McGowan]: mm hm

[Dominic Acello]: will appear and you just keep following that and next thing you know, you’re

[Dominic Acello]: building something great, so you know, out of uh, out of everything I’ve

[Dominic Acello]: seen, it’s like if you break it down to that simplistic aspect of one foot

[Dominic Acello]: in front of the other, you can. You can move mountains, you

[Nick McGowan]: yeah it’s

[Dominic Acello]: know, so that would be my one little tibet for the world.

[Nick McGowan]: that’s great stuff man well i appreciate that t bit where can where can people find

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Dominic Acello]: All right? Well, so there’s a couple of different aspects to what what what

[Dominic Acello]: I do over here, Um, from the the business side with marketing is uh, within

[Dominic Acello]: marketing, Um within marketing, Dot com, and with the music side of things,

[Dominic Acello]: Um, I, I go into the artist named Dominceello, which is a playo of my first

[Dominic Acello]: and last name. Um, so you can find that on Facebook? Let’s say Facebook, dot

[Dominic Acello]: com slash Dominceello. D, o, m, I, n.

[Dominic Acello]: uh, you know what we’ll cut that out. I’m going nna, I don’t. I can’t

[Nick McGowan]: so good

[Dominic Acello]: spell it my head right now. Um, and then Herd records. Uh, you can go to

[Dominic Acello]: Herd Records Dot com and check out what we’re doing with. Uh, the music

[Dominic Acello]: label. It’s still being built out, but uh, there’s some good content on

[Dominic Acello]: there, and um, Yeah, and I’m sure you’ll provide the rest of the links below

[Dominic Acello]: right.

[Nick McGowan]: it’ll all be in the info all the info will be in the notes there’s going to be

[Nick McGowan]: links in there his bio is going to be in there so again dum i appreciate you being

[Nick McGowan]: on the show being open with us and raw man really appreciate it thank you

[Dominic Acello]: Yes, thanks for having me appreciate a man.

[Dominic Acello]: All right. Have a good day.

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