Neuro Hacking Your Way To Success – Ep.054 – Dr. Eugene K. Choi

Episode summary:​ Dr. Eugene K. Choi achieved the American Dream. He earned his doctorate, had a 6 figure job, lived in his dream apartment, and drove a sports car, but he wasn’t happy. That left him with the question “now what?”

Needing to do something drastic, an odd and different opportunity rose. There was a Youtube channel that wanted Dr. Eugene on their team.

He spoke with his wife and she supported the decision to leave everything behind and start this new adventure. Dr. Eugene had great feelings about this move and this decision led to many other amazing great opportunities.

All it takes is saying something yes to something crazy. 

Guest Name & Bio: Dr. Eugene K. Choi Pharm. D is a Certified Transformational Mindset coach that helps talented heart-driven leaders operate at their highest levels of clarity, energy, and focus.

With a background in clinical pharmacy, neuroscience, and business coaching, his unique science-backed process along with the use of groundbreaking technology helps entrepreneurs figure out how to dramatically improve performance, innovate dynamic solutions, and achieve their goals.

His articles have reached over 9 million people and he has helped hundreds of leaders significantly transform their results at both a professional and personal level.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

[Nick McGowan]: Dr. Eugene welcome to the show man how you doing?

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thanks so much i’m really excited to be here

[Nick McGowan]: i’m excited that you’re here i was telling you right before we hit record that

[Nick McGowan]: i was saying to myself a number of weeks ago like i really want to

[Nick McGowan]: be able to have more people on the show that get into the science of

[Nick McGowan]: things i’ve done over fifty episodes at this point by the time yours comes out

[Nick McGowan]: it will be a lot more than that but i had a lot of conversations

[Nick McGowan]: that have been almost ethereal or spiritual and halistic in a sense but i want

[Nick McGowan]: to be able to get to some of the science stuff because honestly dr eugene

[Nick McGowan]: there are certain people i know that listen to that show that are like i’ve

[Nick McGowan]: heard all that ship before but i’m a science guy so i’m excited to get

[Nick McGowan]: into this sort of stuff because i know that you basically straddle both sides of

[Nick McGowan]: that but you are also a doctor so i don’t want to take really any

[Nick McGowan]: of your thunder here why don’t you tell us what you do for a living

[Nick McGowan]: and one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd

[Nick McGowan]: or bizarre

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah so what i do now is it’s bazar because i’m a former pharmacist right

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’m a doctor of pharmacy and i started my own business and i work with

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a lot of leaders cos sometimes political leaders and i teach them the brains and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: behind how to perform better how to focus better how to activate your creativity at

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: will especially because the part of your brain that you need the most is actually

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: shut off for about seventy per cent of your adult life and

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: something that most people don’t know about me is i know what it’s like to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: be in the middle of three gun fights because i was living in one of

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the most violent cities in the world at the time for a month doing some

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: volunteer work

[Nick McGowan]: wow well we have to start off with the guns

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: then um guns don’t kill people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: people kill people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but what happened give us some context

to that man

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah so i was in college you

know in the asian world you know it’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like the cultural expectations it it’s like

be a doctor lawyer that kind of thing

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i was in a soul searching period

and i just wanted

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to get away i had good friend

of mine that did some volunteer work out

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in reoditionary in brazil um and he

was telling me about it so i said

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you know i’ll go i was a

pharmacy student at time and decided to volunteer

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i was part of i lived in

an area cal i favella’s if you ever

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: heard of a movie called city of

god for example it was a famous movie

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i was living like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a block away from one of those

locations it’s one of the most violent areas

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in the world where more than seven

to

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: eight percent of the kids don’t live

past twenty one years old because of the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: gun violence they get heavily involved in

drug trafficking so what happens

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: is the brazilian squat team on occasion

will come in raid the avella

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: my first day of arriving there they

came

[Nick McGowan]: oh man

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: they came and

[Nick McGowan]: come

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: then

[Nick McGowan]: on

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: they were shooting at each other and

we were under the windows like what the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: bullets ricochet above me and then the

director of the organization i was working was

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like welcome to barrel which was the

name of the ella so yeah i

[Nick McGowan]: you’re like i’m getting the next flight

out of here

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that i am not personally speaking that’s

why i’m not a fan of guns that’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: why if like friends are doing batchroparties

they want to go to shooting

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: range i’m like all good i’ll be

with you guys but i don’t want it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah that

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: memory got ingrained in my brain

[Nick McGowan]: i could only imagine

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: cheese

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s not sex

[Nick McGowan]: there’s no

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: and i assume it’s not like the

movies where you’re like

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: not

[Nick McGowan]: oh there’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: at all

[Nick McGowan]: guns and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: not

[Nick McGowan]: people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: at

[Nick McGowan]: are

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: all

[Nick McGowan]: shooting stuff that’s got to be terrifying

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it was terrifying yeah and i didn’t

know

[Nick McGowan]: jees

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: how loud they were either like

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that was my full extent hearing how

loud it was

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like right when it’s all happening

[Nick McGowan]: wow and so day one

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: you’re like here i am on day

one and how did the rest of it

[Nick McGowan]: go i mean did you get into

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: anything

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the

[Nick McGowan]: else

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: community

[Nick McGowan]: crazy

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: was

[Nick McGowan]: or it was the rest of the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: trip

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i mean the gun fights happened like

two major times after where they got raided

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: again and again and i heard it

got rated a lot more

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: leading up to i went before two

thousand sixteen so you know when the olympic

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: we announced that’s when they started cleaning

up really hard

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: but

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it was beautiful dude like the community

there the surprising because the drugtraffricers took really

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: good care of their community so it’s

like it’s a bubble is its own bubble

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: but

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it had its like beauty about it

and those drug traffickers were really friendly with

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: me they loved me because they knew

i was contributing towards their community so it’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: kind of like a protective big brother

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: kind of feeling from them so m

yeah

[Nick McGowan]: wow

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: ironically like it was it was really

beautiful like i loved it i built a

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: lot of cool relationships over there and

it’s interesting right and then you come home

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to your first world

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: country after seeing like houses

[Nick McGowan]: he

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that have three walls in some of

these places and um you

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: go back to your original friends back

home and they’re complaining about their boss or

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the complaining about new car part that

they want to buy

[Nick McGowan]: yeah and you’re like shut up

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: huge huge culture

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: shock yeah i got pretty jaded after

that but it

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: was it was a it was not

something i would take back i learned so

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: much from it

[Nick McGowan]: that’s an interesting thing you know i’ve

had a couple conversations over i’d say probably

[Nick McGowan]: the past decade or so where

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: m

[Nick McGowan]: we’ve gotten into conversation about being able

to go over seas and experiencing that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: because if you’re here even if you’re

in the states or if you just live

[Nick McGowan]: in your own town i think about

how many people are counties you know

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: we were talking about new york and

philly before we hit record and neither one

[Nick McGowan]: of us live in those places any

more

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: and haven’t for years

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yep yep

[Nick McGowan]: but there are lots of people i’m

sure you some that come to mind even

[Nick McGowan]: for the audience there are people that

are listening to this now that you may

[Nick McGowan]: be a county if you are love

you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: m

[Nick McGowan]: if not

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: if you know p that ar counties

you know

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: ah

[Nick McGowan]: that’s how it kind of works where

some people just kind of get stuck but

[Nick McGowan]: going to a different country and experiencing

something different allows

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: you to look at things relatively so

when you i mean for you to go

[Nick McGowan]: and first they be like oh cool

gun violence

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: beautiful welcome to the country i could

imagine that’s got to be kind of tough

[Nick McGowan]: coming back but when you said you

were a bit jaded was it more jaded

[Nick McGowan]: f people didn’t understand the relativism of

it or the relativity of it all

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: or

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s just like

[Nick McGowan]: what

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a

[Nick McGowan]: was

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: shock

[Nick McGowan]: it that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you

[Nick McGowan]: kind

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: know

[Nick McGowan]: of jaded

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you come back home from like poverty

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and gun violence

[Nick McGowan]: my

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to safety and right like luxury right

in a sense and it’s very jading

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it reminds me so i’ve also done

work in india with mother teresa’s organization

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like i remember like being across the

street

[Nick McGowan]: wow

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’m at a luxury mall and you’re

looking out the window from like the fifth

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: floor and across the street as the

slums it’s just like literally across the street

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s in new york

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: too right there’s an

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: area like between like

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: harlem

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and fifth ave like across the street

it’s like clearly like not that great looking

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so that’s kind of where it is

jaded like the inequality like that kind of

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: stuff right like you know how the

whole rich get rich or kind of thing

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like it was just face to face

with it and the poor to get poor

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: at that whole ordeal but yeah i

mean i agree with you there’s

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: nothing like having a shift in perspective

that is why i left new york i

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: didn’t realize it was a bubble until

you left the bubble right and then you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: start seeing

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and realizing there’s so

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: many more ways to just live life

because i was just not happy with it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: any more in new york i don’t

i think billy is similar to you right

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s like it’s

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: normal to be busy and overworking and

hustling and being

[Nick McGowan]: oh yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: being unhappy like if you’re happy people

think something is wrong with you

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and

[Nick McGowan]: they

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i move

[Nick McGowan]: hate you for it like why are

you so

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: i don’t get that and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and

[Nick McGowan]: then they bitrocamplain and move along with

life

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah yeah if you don’t complain with

them they don’t like you

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’m like no i don’t like to

complain

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: anymore so yeah i mean that’s

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i just didn’t

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like it so i left

[Nick McGowan]: it’s a solid point man i think

a lot of people miss that you know

[Nick McGowan]: like they miss the fact that they

can make that decision and they can up

[Nick McGowan]: and move because it’s such a big

scary thing like i told you that i

[Nick McGowan]: lived in portland a little bit and

when i left philly to move to portland

[Nick McGowan]: the amount of people that told me

oh i could never the what do you

[Nick McGowan]: mean yes you can i went

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: for a long week end came back

and two weeks later was moving i was

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: like you can totally do whatever you

want they were just like i do not

[Nick McGowan]: know but and they rattled off the

list of excuses got

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: my job i got my family i

got this i got that and i think

[Nick McGowan]: for the most part that’s kind of

a metaphor for the way people look at

[Nick McGowan]: life where they just allow those excuses

to kind of stop them you know you

[Nick McGowan]: didn’t allow the excuses to stop you

at all but what was the what was

[Nick McGowan]: the path to get to that point

where you were like i want out of

[Nick McGowan]: this bubble and i want to go

do something different

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it was just becoming more and more

aware of how unhappy i was you know

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i did i did the whole what

i called the asian american dream right like

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i got my degree i got my

doctor at i was practicing pharmacy i got

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a six figure salary right out of

college had the nice house the nice new

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: sports

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: car the brand

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: new apartment all that good stuff and

sitting there going why do i still feel

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like ship why do i still have

my trust issues

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: why do i still have all these

kind of feelings that i don’t like feeling

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i thought this was it i thought

this was the ticket i got my first

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: pay check and i was very anti

climactic

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so it’s just coming face to face

with you

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: satisfaction because

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you can only distract yourself with pleasure

for so long right so

[Nick McGowan]: an

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it just got to a point when

i was

[Nick McGowan]: good

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: face

[Nick McGowan]: point

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to face with it and i decided

to take action

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because how do yo grow when you’re

staying still you just can’t um

[Nick McGowan]: you’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so

[Nick McGowan]: just

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i

[Nick McGowan]: dying

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: didn’t know

[Nick McGowan]: at that point

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i just it’s kind of like a

storspigerio on the wall and see what sticks

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: kind of thing so after three years

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of working i asked my wife i

was like i have this opportunity because i

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: was dabbling in film making at the

time and i told her i had this

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: opportunity where this

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: three

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: asian dudes left behind their very successful

careers one was a harvard med student one

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: was a youngest asian director at the

time at the white house and the third

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: guy was being consulting which is one

of the biggest consulting firms out there and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: they quit to make vide i was

on youtube and they invited me to join

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the team so i asked her wha

do you think about spending

[Nick McGowan]: we

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you forty five minutes forty five days

on the road

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and just have the trip of our

lives and then moved to l a and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: she said sure so that was my

first kind of experience just stepping out of

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the bubble and i’ve never looked back

since because i don’t know how else to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: describe but there’s nothing else like it

just it was the most liberating i felt

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: all my stress start to melt away

um there was just something about that

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: trip that started

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: at all and that was back in

two thousand thirteen

[Nick McGowan]: hat’s awesome man and especially to have

a partner that goes yeah let’s do it

[Nick McGowan]: and be able to jump into that

i could imagine that would have been pretty

[Nick McGowan]: scary for you to step

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: outside of it and look i’m an

american and for the most part my family

[Nick McGowan]: were with you know a handful of

us but it’s a big as irish family

[Nick McGowan]: and not

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: m

[Nick McGowan]: not the exact same as what i

know you’re alluding to with the asian american

[Nick McGowan]: family

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: one of my good friends grew in

a similar situation and i know there’s a

[Nick McGowan]: lot of pressure that comes with that

there’s some pressure

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: that just comes with

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: being in the north east anyway where

people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: ah

[Nick McGowan]: expect you to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: constantly be on the go constantly be

working through stuff and any mental issues they

[Nick McGowan]: just don’t want to talk about it

they just

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: take it and say fucking put dirt

on it get your ass back up and

[Nick McGowan]: get back in the game and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you got to be tough

[Nick McGowan]: got a yeah and that’s not the

way to process through that stuff so as

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: correct

[Nick McGowan]: started to process through i want to

shift out of this because i’m making money

[Nick McGowan]: i’m doing all the things but there’s

still this fucking hole in my heart what

[Nick McGowan]: was that transition like mindset wise for

you to kind of walk through that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah definitely a roller coaster it wasn’t

all rainbows and unicorns because there

[Nick McGowan]: of

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: was

[Nick McGowan]: course

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a whole other aspect of my journey

there to get to where i’m at today

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: but

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in terms of the mind set

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: aspect i remember it was light changing

for me because like i remember i had

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this moment right

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like it might be some

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: people might call it like a spiritual

moment like i just like the best way

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i like to describe is like i

felt like something was communicating with me right

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: call it what you want god

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: universe whatever right i was on the

stretch of the road trip for about nine

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: hours it was a nine hour stretch

that we’re going on to the next state

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that we’re going to and i just

remember sitting there and remember something i was

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: feeling it right it’s not like i

was hearing a voice in my head but

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like i was feeling

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: something was communicating with me hey for

the first time in your life you’re giving

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: me something to work with because all

up to this point you are complaining

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you kept

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: treating

[Nick McGowan]: man

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: me like a vending machine please fix

this please to fix that and i will

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: finally take action when i have the

golden green light like you know wat i

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: mean like

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you know the road is paved for

him with certainty about my future but

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s like for the first time i

took a risk

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and i felt this feeling of like

you’re giving me something to work with for

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the first time because if you keep

giving me nothing i can’t work with it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and

[Nick McGowan]: it’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that

[Nick McGowan]: beautiful

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: was just the beginning of a crazy

journey that led to i did film making

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: for a little bit some of the

biggest projects that i spear headed got twenty

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: three million views on like we had

multiple pieces of

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: work that went vira that taught me

a out marketing a long story

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: short that got me at some point

hired into a business coaching company where the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: co of a multi million dollar business

taught me all about business fast forward to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: another time when i wrote an article

on line that got seven million views and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: went vial as well that single handedly

launched my business to help me go full

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: time into it and the next thing

i know i’m coaching like seven figured business

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: owners and i coached the mayor

[Nick McGowan]: awesome

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: last year it’s just like the list

goes on and on of the wild stuff

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that’s ever happened since that

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: if i told myself ten years ago

this is what would happen i’m just like

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i would i would yeah i would

think i was full of ship

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right like so

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah that was a life changing moment

for me it’s just like this aspect of

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like you got to give call it

what you want the world universe you gotta

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: give it something to work with

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: if you’re gonna stay still it’s not

going

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to work

[Nick McGowan]: and that’s a beautiful thing i’ve had

conversations recently about what i keep thinking about

[Nick McGowan]: is doors when you open up a

door and then there are other doors that

[Nick McGowan]: are in front of that door little

do you know if you were to look

[Nick McGowan]: you know a view a hundred foot

up or whatever you could see all those

[Nick McGowan]: doors

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: m

[Nick McGowan]: between all those walls but realistically you

have no idea until you either go through

[Nick McGowan]: a door or you don’t and for

you to actually go through door and say

[Nick McGowan]: all it i’m going to go through

this one and take this jump to go

[Nick McGowan]: across country and change everything that set

you up to be able to go through

[Nick McGowan]: those other doors but it still took

you to be faithful in that sort of

[Nick McGowan]: way keep moving through it now did

you feel things i say more more real

[Nick McGowan]: than you had in the past because

that sounds like that was one of those

[Nick McGowan]: first kind of moments where you’re like

i didn’t hear some booming voice scream at

[Nick McGowan]: me and say this

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: is the thing you need to do

but to feel it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: correct

[Nick McGowan]: once you feel that and you’re aware

of that it’s like a muscle you start

[Nick McGowan]: to kind of work it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: now what did that look like for

you to be able to start to work

[Nick McGowan]: that and experience more of that just

along the path that you started on

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i mean you can only ignore that

nagging feeling for so

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: long right so

[Nick McGowan]: uh yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: m yeah

[Nick McGowan]: agreed

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in the beginning was like dip your

toe in the water i’ll just do it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: little by little right like i’ll be

like okay

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’ll move this direction and then the

more and more cool stuff that would happen

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s just like maybe this the stuff

is actually real like the stuff like people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: preach in personal development world and all

that um

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and yeah one one door led to

another and that’s exactly right you know i

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: remember like i think the first thing

that i was tinking abou when you’re talking

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: about doors is like most of us

when we’re afraid we just can’t even see

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that there’s a door to begin with

we don’t even know there’s a door

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that’s the first step

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to just put your head up for

a moment and just explore options and see

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that there’s in fact many doors we

just

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: literally can’t see it so yeah once

i saw the first door took it realize

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: oh i like what on the other

side then you kind of get

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: more curious i wonder what’s in this

next store and then one thing just led

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to another and yeah dude i’m still

it’s still serial for me in terms of

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: what’s happened in my life

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: things i thought i could i never

knew i can actually experience it’s already happened

[Nick McGowan]: that’s a common consensus for everybody everybody

that opens those doors you know we all

[Nick McGowan]: say those things and i feel sad

in a certain way for the people that

[Nick McGowan]: don’t get it because they don’t step

outside their fear to open that door but

[Nick McGowan]: like you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: had said a lot of people don’t

know as you said it i kind of

[Nick McGowan]: pictured somebody being really upset and at

that point there their hands are over their

[Nick McGowan]: eyes because there s in their their

palms and they can’t

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: see anything because they’re just

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: correct

[Nick McGowan]: so upset and it’s a matter of

the awareness once you’re aware of the thing

[Nick McGowan]: you can go to it think about

it if you looked around you’re like oh

[Nick McGowan]: there’s a fucking door over there the

does that door lead me to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: i wonder what i can do some

people will be like oh no you never

[Nick McGowan]: know it could be some big hairy

scary monster behind it eople like you and

[Nick McGowan]: i are like fun boot kick the

door and if there’s a big scary monster

[Nick McGowan]: you shut it if not because most

case there isn’t you’re able to just kind

[Nick McGowan]: of walk through it and move through

it so you’ve gone through a ton over

[Nick McGowan]: and it’s almost been ten years since

you made that trip which is i’m sure

[Nick McGowan]: crazy for you to think about a

decade

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: has

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: passed since that has happened

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: exactly

[Nick McGowan]: so tell us about tell us about

that decade in you know twenty minutes here

[Nick McGowan]: um tell

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: us about that decade and like the

path that got you to where you’re at

[Nick McGowan]: now and what you’re doing now with

it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah absolutely so what i’m doing now

so this was the coolest part is i

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: left behind pharmacy right and i was

i was a clinical pharmacist so i was

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in the hospitals

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: doing a lot of work with doctors

nurses right like basically making sure they don’t

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: screw up right the drugs and all

that

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: which

[Nick McGowan]: don’t

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: would

[Nick McGowan]: kill

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: be surprised

[Nick McGowan]: people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: at how many how many times people

screw up

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: but anyway we don’t need to go

there but

[Nick McGowan]: h yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it finally came it finally came

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: full circle my health care background helped

me understand the science so i was diving

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: deep into neuro science and i had

this big hole moment where because of the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: marketing skills i’ve indirectly developed from creating

a lot of content that went viral and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: all that right i was looking at

this and i discovered a couple of things

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: when i was loing at the brain

science where oh my goodness like there is

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: gold in here if it can be

communicated in a non academic way where it’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: simple

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: for pope to understand

[Nick McGowan]: a human way

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and in a human way

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and more importantly to apply because a

lot of academics are horrible communication right they’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: just

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you know throwing big

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: words at you all the time um

this can actually be life changing because like

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: for example this was the first big

aha i had was look your brain your

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: whole nervous system can only be in

one of two states it’s what i call

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a survival state or an executive state

okay so the

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thing to know about the executive state

is this is where all of your super

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: powers come from that’s the best way

i like to explain it your critical thinking

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: skills come from here your problem solving

skills your empathy your creativity your innovation your

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: intuition the list just goes on and

on and on of all these amazing functions

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: your brain has okay the survival state

is the part of your brain that can’t

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: think it’s a reactive mode you’re reacting

without thinking because it’s meant for life threatening

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: scenario so when i was in the

middle of a gun fight i need my

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: survival state to turn on

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right to hide or to run away

[Nick McGowan]: ye

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to protect myself to prevent myself from

being dead so the key thing about that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: though is a reaction without thinking you’re

not thinking you’re not able to access these

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: amazing parts of your brain because your

brain feels like it’s under threat so when

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re talking about like because of our

fear we can’t even see these doors because

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: your hands are on your face when

you’re in a survival state this is why

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you can’t see all the portunities that

are around you and the solutions that you’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: around

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you because you literally develop tunnel vision

case in point if a tiger walks into

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: your room right now an angry tiger

are you going to look

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: anywhere else except where the tiger is

do you see what i’m saying no

[Nick McGowan]: one

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so

[Nick McGowan]: hundred

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you

[Nick McGowan]: percent

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: can’t see anything else in the room

except the tiger even though there’s all this

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: stuff

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in the room that’s there it’s the

same applies

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: when we’re in fear were so focused

on the thing that we’re afraid of which

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: usually isn’t even real right were focus

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: on the thing we’re afraid of your

brain literally cannot see all these other things

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that probably will help you get what

you want to begin with you see what

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’m saying

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so here’s the crazy part like i

said earlier based on research for about seventy

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: percent of our adult life on average

ere not in the executive

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: state we’re in the survival state the

part of your brain that can’t access critical

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thinking skills problem solving skills creativity not

because your life is actually in danger it’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: we’re surviving from feelings that feel uncomfortable

how do you know this is true you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: have to reflect and think how often

do you feel angry how often do you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: feel frustrated sad anxious depressed and you

any of these emotions that don’t feel good

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because guess what research shows that emotional

pain can be processed just as painful as

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: physical pain in the brain you see

what i’m saying

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so your brain can’t help

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: but view it as a threat which

is why we go into this survival mode

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that you’ve lost access to the part

of your brain that you need to begin

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: with

[Nick McGowan]: yeah and that it’s wild i think

there’s a lot of people in the world

[Nick McGowan]: that think it stuck almost like what

you were saying earlier about the asian american

[Nick McGowan]: dream with the american dream or whatever

they’ve been kind of force fed you’re supposed

[Nick McGowan]: to have a spouse two and a

half children the half is always weird to

[Nick McGowan]: me

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: m

[Nick McGowan]: and a cat and a dog and

a white picket fence and live in suburbia

[Nick McGowan]: and make what fifty a year is

kind of the average or maybe the more

[Nick McGowan]: nowadays

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: with inflation

[Nick McGowan]: but

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: now it’s like eighty

[Nick McGowan]: yeah exactly but yeah so everybody’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: m

[Nick McGowan]: kind of force fed that stuff and

they think they

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: need to do these things now a

coaching client recently that told me they felt

[Nick McGowan]: like they needed to get me arid

i was like well why why do you

[Nick McGowan]: feel you need to get married is

it because the love you have for her

[Nick McGowan]: it’s like no my parents are expecting

me to do it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: and that’s vastly different than

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: what choice you should be making so

being able to look at those things and

[Nick McGowan]: understand that you’ve got to be aware

of that first huge so for you to

[Nick McGowan]: be able to talk to your clients

about getting out of that state the reactive

[Nick McGowan]: state what’s an easy way that you

can give without you know giving us a

[Nick McGowan]: sea it’s asy you’re coaching but for

the audience to be able to kind of

[Nick McGowan]: snap themselves out of it and realize

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: what’s going on and do something about

it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: absolutely so the most most important thing

is awareness right like how do you change

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: something

[Nick McGowan]: agreed

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: unless you’re aware of it and

[Nick McGowan]: preach

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: look the

[Nick McGowan]: man

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: only time you

[Nick McGowan]: preach

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: ever feel stuck the only time you

ever feel

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: stuck he can say this with total

confidence now whenever you feel stuck we use

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that word a lot the only reason

you’re stuck is because you’re unaware of the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thing that’s keeping you the real

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thing that’s keeping you stuck right

[Nick McGowan]: uh yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: if you’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so

[Nick McGowan]: aware you do something

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: exactly so you know it’s it’s it’s

very

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: awareness is the power meaning like if

you have a piece of brockley stuck between

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: your teeth how do yo have the

power to remove that piece of brockley until

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it comes into your awareness someone has

to point it out to you or you

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: see it in the mirror

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so the first phase it’s a hundre

so on time it’s awareness so the mind

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: blowing things that i’ve come to realize

that we needed to become aware of well

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: first and foremost it’s about how safe

you feel like you said think about how

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: much pressure

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: we feel on a daily basis for

many reasons culture society media right you watch

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the news

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re watching stuff like school shootings unfortunately

dramatic politics um pandemic right and

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: how unsafe you feel

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: directly correlate what state go into if

you feel unsafe you’re gonna go into a

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: survival state

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: does that make sense right so

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: we have i have to put another

side statistic because i remember that i read

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a survey once that asked the group

of people who’s got your back it’s a

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: very simple question right

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: sixty five percent of people in the

room said nobody guess

[Nick McGowan]: dan

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: what fifty five percent of those people

that said nobody they were married so it’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a

[Nick McGowan]: of

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: question you have to ask yourself how

safe do you feel in your daily life

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to just be you

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right aside from all the pressure you

face from culture society right friends family and

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because if you don’t feel safe you’re

going

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re going to survival and when you’re

in survival you can’t access those amazing parts

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of yourself

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so the next thing to become aware

of is what a survival state actually look

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like this is key this

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: is the part blew my mind this

is the part where people realize things they

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: don’t even realize in in the wild

what you do in the survival state it’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: three your brain only knows how to

do these three things literally it’s just comes

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: down to these three things when you’re

in survival it’s fight flight freeze okay in

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the wild it’s very obvious you’re going

to pick up a weapon to fight when

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you feel like your life is in

danger it you’re going to try to defend

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yourself in some way by fighting

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: or you’re going to run for your

life and flight or you’re going to play

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: dead and freeze where you know possums

are famous for doing this because their red

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like their food alive so they play

dead and they don’t get eaten so here’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the thing we’re in survival seventy percent

of our adult life right we

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: need to know what the fight flight

freeze actually looks like when we’re surviving from

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: our emotions

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that’s the first thing to be aware

of so that’s the first thing i just

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: cover it’s just play i tell clients

all the time make it a game just

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: see how good you become at noticing

these fight flight freeze behaviors

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: whether it’s yourself or other people so

what is fight like fight looks like some

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of the obvious ones is you know

you get your feelings hurt and now you’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: getting into fight and an argument you’re

yelling and screaming and we all know where

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that by the way your empathy turns

off when your survival so you know whe

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you get into argument

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: we usually know how that ends up

right people get hurt

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so that’s a obvious one to fight

or physically fighting right a lot of else

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’ll call out a lot of males

right tend to

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: get into physical fights because growing up

we hear false messages like you know be

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: tough it’s not good to show emotion

stop crying stop being such a girl and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because we don’t know how to process

our emotions or ever were taught how we

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: literally get into physical fights at the

bar when some

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: guy say something rude to your whatever

right or cutting road rates right that’s another

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: example

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of fight your ego got hurt so

you have no consideration of the cars around

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you so you feel the need to

cut the person back off and fight back

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so here’s the thing there’s more subtle

things of fight that most people aren’t even

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: aware of that need to be right

a fight response by the way because people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: have an

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: ego about being wrong the need to

prove oneself yourself or to someone else guess

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: what that’s a fight hustle culture is

a fight

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right o need to work hard and

overwork it’s this it’s this reaction to your

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: feeling of inadequacy or not in where

you’re not feeling good enough there’s some sort

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of insecurity or fear inside of you

for you to even react that way to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it is that making sense and

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i have to give examples because a

lot of people i run into that are

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that i work with our high performers

leader and they’re proud of their fight mode

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: they think they need it right so

i have

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to give an example of what i

mean

[Nick McGowan]: like

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: by

[Nick McGowan]: a badge

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this

[Nick McGowan]: of honor

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s a badge of honor exactly so

i had a client once had everything

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you could imagine the

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: million dollar multi million dollar business the

beautiful house his family

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: all that good stuff and he’s in

the sixties now and he’s going why am

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i still unhappy

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and i’m talking to but the fight

response and he’s sitting there going oh my

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: god i’ve pretty much been in a

fight mode in that reactive fight on my

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: whole life i’m like okay like tell

me more what

[Nick McGowan]: an

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: do you mean by that he’s like

i’ve been fighting to prove to people that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’m better than my older brother and

i’m like wha are you talking about he’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like well my older brother was an

n f ball player and when

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i was in high school my coach

told me my football coach told me literally

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: he said

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to me like stop trying you’re never

going to be as good as him don’t

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: even bother so how did he fight

he felt the need to accomplish more he

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: got the money right

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the business the family and here you

are at sixty years old going why am

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i still unhappy

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because you’ve been fighting your whole life

when you’re fighting

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re always it always leads to burn

out and always leads to lack of fulfillment

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and you know what’s the most worst

thing about the fight mode is the very

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thing that prevents you from getting what

you want so what do i mean by

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this i had another client he argued

with me about how he needed he’s like

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: no sometimes you need a survival state

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right i’m like unless you’re actually about

to you don’t need it it’s actually

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: screwing you over in some way

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: he’s like no i have to tell

you he’s like

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i hit rock bottom and i had

to fight my like my second wife divorced

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: me because she was cheating on me

the first wife heated on me too by

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and i was still paying

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: over two thousand dollars of child support

per month and i hit rock bottom i

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: had to gather all the change from

the from the room to go to that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: market that still take some of your

money when you cash it in

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: five dollars left and i was so

pissed off i remember that day and that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: was the moment i said i had

to fight and i had to keep my

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: head down put my shoulder up and

i was dashing through brick wall

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: after brick wall and that’s how i

got to where i’m at today because he’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: like ink five thousand now fast like

multi millin business right

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so i’m like okay that’s fair well

without telling talking to you about what you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: should have would have could have done

what about a thought exercise what if you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: understood how to activate your executive state

it’s the thing that gives you the ability

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: even if it’s just for a moment

you put your head up and your shoulder

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: down

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: maybe you actually see all those brick

walls you felt cornered into having to bash

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: through that it was your only option

what if those brick walls were only three

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: feet wide meaning

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: there’s a lot of other

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: options you don’t have to bash through

those brick walls and if you’re in the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: fight mode you tend to work harder

not

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: smarter you see what i’m saying but

when you’re in your executive

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: state it’s what gives your brain the

ability to work smarter not harder if that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: makes sense and wealthy

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: people wealthy and happy people understand this

right learn how to work smarter not harder

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so anyway

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that’s a big fight one that’s a

that’s the one i dive into a little

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: bit deeper because it tends to be

the one where people like pride themsels on

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a lot and are not even aware

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of that they’re in a fight mode

because they feel they need to perfect be

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a perfectionist or improve themselves to people

et cetera and they think it’s a healthy

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thing it’s not

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so they overwork as well right

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: flight pons obvious one is things like

procrastination it’s a self soothing mechanism right because

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re there’s usually some fear there what

if i do this

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: now and i screw up what if

i do this now what will people think

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: what if i do this now and

i’m not ready so tend to procrastinate as

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a soothing response that’s an obvious one

of flight the more

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: subtle ones are the ones where we

start to numb ourselves on purpose right some

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: people

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: over indulge things like alcohol sex drugs

to the point addiction right bing watch net

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: flix eat a tub of ice cream

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: which by the way here’s no judgment

around any of the because we all have

[Nick McGowan]: what

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: our numbing mechanism is okay so

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s just to be aware of it

it’s a flight mechanism that we do to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: avoid the emotion we don’t want to

feel fleeing to work is a flight to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: fight away some people

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: distract themselves by keeping busy with work

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so that’s a flight mechanism and lastly

freezes when we in action we don’t make

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: decisions the obvious ones is like more

comedic like you know if someone gets caught

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in a lie you see their eyes

wide enough and they literally freeze

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s their brain going hey if you

pretend not to exist right now maybe this

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: person

[Nick McGowan]: you’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: will stop

[Nick McGowan]: done

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: interrogating

[Nick McGowan]: fucked up

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you maybe this person will stop interrogating

you if you just stay still right and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: pretend

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re dead which

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: which it’s funny because

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it just shows you’re guilty then right

if you freeze

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: but anyway

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: but the other ones is

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: when you’re overwhelmed right it tends to

cause in decision you wake up in the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: morning you feel overwhelmed you don’t want

to get out of bed and then you

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: don’t get the things done that you

want to get

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so anyway that’s the first thing it’s

just i tell clients to just make it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a game look at how often we’re

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in fight flight freeze and can you

see how why we’re actually in the survival

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: state for seventy percent of our adult

lives it’s just becoming more and

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: more aware of what this actually looks

like

[Nick McGowan]: awareness man i mean the alphabet starts

with a and everything else

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: needs to start with a with awareness

it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: exactly

[Nick McGowan]: all boils down to that awareness and

it’s interesting

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: hundred percent

[Nick McGowan]: ease you bring up a lot of

the stories that people tell themselves like your

[Nick McGowan]: client that was like no funk you

i needed to do this

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: because he was defending

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yah

[Nick McGowan]: the story that he had created

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: h

[Nick McGowan]: for himself and put himself

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: my

[Nick McGowan]: as that main character

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: saying this is my story this is

what i am that’s just like when people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: are about to leave their business or

a job or relationship or whatever and they

[Nick McGowan]: go i don’t know what i would

be like if i don’t have these things

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right

[Nick McGowan]: and they need to separate themselves from

that so you’ve talked about the awareness we’ve

[Nick McGowan]: kind of covered the story of that

how do you help people separate from kind

[Nick McGowan]: of that bull ship and to be

able to step outside of it and look

[Nick McGowan]: and see what’s actually happened to then

do something about it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: hundred percent so there’s two key ingredients

i realize if you truly want to transform

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: your life and i mean

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that like i’m not trying to say

it as like a sales pitch like kind

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of thing right a motivational

[Nick McGowan]: buzz word

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: speaking

[Nick McGowan]: stuff

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: kind of thing right

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: if you

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: truly want to i realize there’s two

cor ingredients the first thing is willingness and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: here’s what i mean by this

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: okay i’m goin to share it in

the form of a story because this is

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this was a life changing moment for

me to about what willingness really means and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: willing ness i got to get briefly

coached by this amazing coacher names round britain

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’ll

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: just give you the one minute context

of her life at fourteen years old her

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: parents were in the idle of splitting

up it was father’s day they were going

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: out for bunch her and her mom

go out in the yard dad’s pulling up

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to the curb um he gets out

of his car while the sisters are still

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in the house getting ready he says

i need to get me hot from the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: trunk he opens the trunk doesn’t get

his coat pulls out a shot gun walking

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: over to mom pissed off at mom

saying it’s our fault you did this and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: proceeds to shoot her then he points

the gun at ronda

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and before he pulls the trigger mom

was still alive so she’s screaming at the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: top of her lungs not to do

it he didn’t know she was alive so

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: he points the gun back at mom

shoots her a second time looks over at

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: ronda points the gun at himself and

pulls the trigger fourteen years old she was

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the sole witness of a murder suicide

okay

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so you can imagine a trauma like

this causes major

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: survival how does she fight she kept

their grades up she tried perform thinking maybe

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this pain will go away if i

keep fighting how does she flee alcohol she

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: became an alcoholic and she attempted suicide

three times suicide is one of the most

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: ultimate forms of flight isn’t it

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and how did she freeze plenty of

days she woke up in the morning didn’t

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: want to get out of bed yet

one day she turned her life around this

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: amazing life coach she had her own

my award winning television show in the nineties

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: she’s been on opera not once but

twice and she turned her life around and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you see i have to share her

story because this is why her words had

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so much impact on me she said

this until

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re willing to be wrong about everything

you know nothing ever changes and i’m not

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: highlighting that everything you know is wrong

i’m highlighting the word willing are you willing

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to be wrong

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: about what you think is true because

she was willing to be wrong about life

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: sucks that she is alone that bad

things always happen to her because you can

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: attach those meanings to a crazy experience

like that a drama like that can’t you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and because

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: she was willing to be wrong she

turned her life around and once you’re willing

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: second part of the ingredient is ownership

okay and what i mean by ownership is

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this yeah i used to say this

phrase to my kids like i would say

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to my daughter for example you’re making

me so mad right now when she’s not

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: listening to me right and the more

i study the brain and all that i’m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: sitting here and reflecting but i’m like

man what might a little kid interpret those

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: words as number one

[Nick McGowan]: wow

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: daddy is saying she’s making daddy mad

so oh there must be such a thing

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: as me being the cause of your

emotions she thinks that’s

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: true because that’s what i’m telling her

and number two who dad s really mad

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right now it’s very scary so when

daddy’s mad it feels like he doesn’t love

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: me so therefore i deve but fear

of making people mad quote which can never

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: make any one any emotion by the

way and i’m about to prove it to

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you so i’m sitting here going oh

my god how might this impact or as

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: an adult what happens if she has

the unethical boss that overworks her and treats

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: her poorly because she’s afraid of making

the boss mad she believes she can make

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: people mad she allows her boundaries to

get crossed and she gives in and she

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: overworks and sacrifices her mental health and

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: probably her physical health too you know

what really got me i’m like ship what

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: happens if she’s in a relationship one

day may be with some boy he’s

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: pressuring her to sleep with him because

she’s afraid of making him mad she’ll do

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it even though she doesn’t want to

so that’s when i was just like to

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the best of my ability

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because that really got me at the

time she was like the or four years

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: old i was just like baby girl

you can never make anyone mad

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the only reason that every mad

[Nick McGowan]: wow

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: is because of his stuff it’s because

he’s afraid of something and i realized my

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: fear was being perceived as a bad

dad because you know my dad left behind

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: our family when i was a tear

held a lot of resentment and all that

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right but anyway

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to the best of my and i

switch the words from your making me mad

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to simply i’m feeling mad because i

know she’s not causing me mad the anger

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s the meaning i’m giving the experience

right oh she’s not listening

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to me so therefore that means i’m

a bad dad and i used to say

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: very angry thoughts like if i’m ever

dad i’m not going to be a da

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: bad dad like mine so that triggered

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: me so that’s when i look at

the co and i share that story with

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: him i’m like tell me again you

were saying in this call that your team

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: is pissing you off is it your

team that’s ising you off or is

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: something going on inside of you and

that’s ownership when they’re able to go teams

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: not kissing me off it’s me

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because the moment you do that now

you have power you can do something about

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it and that’s the first step and

the rest is training just like you can

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: build a muscle at the gym and

physically train guess

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: what there’s a whole process you can

train your brain to better at this because

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the problem the bigger problem is ninety

to ninety five person of your brain by

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the time you’re thirty five subconscious what

does that mean it’s an auto pilot right

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so just like you’re not going down

the stairs going i need to put my

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: left foot forward my right foot forward

my left foot

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you do it without thinking the same

applies to whatever you think is real i’m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: not good enough the negative thoughts you

carry all these living beliefs that you’re carrying

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: it’s on auto pilot in the brain

so the good news is there’s nothing wrong

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: with you it’s just because

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of your unique life experiences and the

meanings you’ve attached to those experiences it created

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: programming in your brain to eventually run

on autopilot which is why you have this

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thing called reality but guess what re

you willing to be wrong about what you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: think is

[Nick McGowan]: um

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: real because your brain is so

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: easily fooled into what it thinks it’s

real you know

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: how i know this think about this

you ever been in a dream when you’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: in the dream you tought it was

real yeah

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so who’s to say

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this belief you might be carrying i

can’t do it i’m not good enough i’m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right like nothing everywhere if that wasn’t

real are you willing to challenge that

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and then once you

[Nick McGowan]: the

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: do that

[Nick McGowan]: willingness

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you are one

[Nick McGowan]: is a big thing

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: correct and once you

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: have that then you then it’s a

skill as anyone can learn it that’s what

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i’ve left behind my career to teach

people is to just teach it to people

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and then you re wire

[Nick McGowan]: that’s

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: parts

[Nick McGowan]: a

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: of your brain that aren’t serving anymore

[Nick McGowan]: that’s a beautiful thing man that willingness

um just saying i’m willing just think about

[Nick McGowan]: any relationship you’ve had for the audience

for yourself like i’m willing to have this

[Nick McGowan]: conversation willing to step into this role

i’m willing to do these things if you’re

[Nick McGowan]: not willing then none of the opportunities

are going to open up you’re

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: correct

[Nick McGowan]: just unwilling to do it that’s huge

and you brought up thinking that you’re not

[Nick McGowan]: enough or that you’re crazy and and

the amount of time is growing up that

[Nick McGowan]: i thought i was fucking crazy because

i just didn’t understand how to communicate within

[Nick McGowan]: my own head and feel and understand

what the feelings were and that goes for

[Nick McGowan]: a lot of people i’ve had so

many conversations over the years where people go

[Nick McGowan]: my fucking crazy and i losing my

mind and my nuts no you’re not you

[Nick McGowan]: just need to process through this stuff

and work through it

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yep

[Nick McGowan]: and a lot of it goes back

to that awareness i think

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: hundred

[Nick McGowan]: the willingness

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: per cent

[Nick McGowan]: is a big thing man i appreciate

you getting into that and given some real

[Nick McGowan]: activities that people can dive into and

figure out so for the people that are

[Nick McGowan]: on their path towards self mastery what

sort of advice would you give them

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah the bottom line advice i give

is being awareness to the relationship you have

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: with yourself right i remember when this

leader was asked you know the cliche question

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: how do i find the perfect one

how do i find the perfect partner in

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: my life which by the way is

a survival state question because you’re asking

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that question if there’s this one person

in the world that you can dump a

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: hundred

[Nick McGowan]: it’s not

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: percent responsibility to for

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: your happiness right who would want that

pressure

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: number one it doesn’t exist

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right and the

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: people who believe that they can be

that person they have their own survival issues

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right people who play savior right because

they have their

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: own security is about

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: worthy and all that

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so anyway the leader understood and that

this was coming from place of survival and

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: he just asked a really powerful question

which was would you go out with yourself

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: and remember that hit me like a

ton of bricks because number one i became

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: aware of my first answer being no

because it’s easy to see all the

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: things you don’t like about yourself right

and

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you hear that in personal development

[Nick McGowan]: ah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: the second thing i had a deeper

break there was oh shit if i can

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: do all these nice things for my

wife claiming it because i love her but

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: if i don’t love

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: me guess what i’m not doing those

things for her i’m doing it for me

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because if i carry

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a belief that i’m not worthy my

brain in the fight mode will go do

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: these nice things for other people so

that one day may be you will finally

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: feel worthy making sense so far

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right so

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: that was the big break through i

had is how is your relationship with yourself

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: because if it’s not you’re going to

be in survival this is when i realized

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: i was one of those people that

overworked over gave because i had low self

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: esteem i thought maybe if i keep

over giving one day i will feel better

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: about myself but that’s the key thing

to understand you cannot create authentic connection with

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: other people unless you have authentic connection

with yourself that’s what self mastery

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: is do you accept you the way

you are do you love yourself the way

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you are no matter what because if

you don’t you’re going a live in survival

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you’re going to live a transactional life

you’re not going to have deep connections in

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: your world you’re going to be very

isolated and alone because who is the folk

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: so when you’re survival yourself you’re not

being empathetic

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: when the tiger is in front of

you about to eat you right your brains

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: not

[Nick McGowan]: fuck now

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: going i wonder how this tiger is

doing today or is parents feeding

[Nick McGowan]: are you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: literally

[Nick McGowan]: tiger

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: are incapable of connecting

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: with other people so the most

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: important to connect with first is yourself

[Nick McGowan]: and what a beautiful

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: get yourself

[Nick McGowan]: way

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: what you need support love

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: right space

[Nick McGowan]: what a beautiful way to be able

to end this episode that’s such a powerful

[Nick McGowan]: thing you know we’ve gone through a

lot with this and druga i appreciate your

[Nick McGowan]: being on man i’m excited this is

this is our first conversation but this will

[Nick McGowan]: not be our last conversation

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: um tell us where can where can

the audience find you and where can they

[Nick McGowan]: connect with you

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: yeah absolutely i have a home page

it’s destiny hacks dot c o there’s a

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: free training you can sign up for

that gives you some like short term tools

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: to get out of survival when you

become more aware of it i also have

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: a course releasing

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: its nor hacking course dot com that

basically just brings you through what i bring

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: clients through to help you develop these

skills of requiring your brain out of survival

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: um and what i’m putting in there

as a bonus you know i’ve worked with

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: multiple like seven figured business owners got

trained by all that kind of stuff is

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: this question of how do you take

your talent and make an impact and ideally

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: you know make some money out of it too so I’m doing a free like

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: business training in there like as well

the bonus for there and that’s that’s released

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: on neurohacking course dot com

[Nick McGowan]: that’s awesome again thank you so much

for being on the show we appreciate your

[Nick McGowan]: time

[Dr. Eugene K Choi]: thank you so much for having me this is fun