Why Not Choose To Be Joyful? – Ep.013 – Brian Goldsack

Episode summary:​ Brian’s a Financial Advisor and Podcast host who also runs a martial arts studio that was gifted to him by a friend who committed suicide during the pandemic… Yeah, imagine mourning the loss of a friend and taking over their business for them? Brian and I discuss how this affected his relationships, and his mindset so listen closely as he shares some beautiful insights and wisdom he’s learned along his path most notably within the past 2 years.

Guest Name & Bio: Brian is the co-host of the Success Fundamentals Podcast. The show explores the deeper meanings and methods to living a truly successful life. It does this by interviewing and reflecting upon conversations with those that have achieved success in business, spirituality, and athletics. Brian works professionally in financial services, runs a martial arts school, and invests in real estate. He is a family man and enjoys studying economics, religion, and history. 

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTIONS

[Nick McGowan]: hey Brian thank you for joining the show i’m so

[Brian Goldsack]: change

[Nick McGowan]: glad you’re here how you doing

[Brian Goldsack]: i’m doing fine thanks for having me Nick how are you

[Nick McGowan]: i am great man i’m so excited that you’re here we had a great conversation

[Nick McGowan]: recently Brian and i recently connected and then found out sort of like six

[Nick McGowan]: degrees of kevin bacon style that were actually part of the same group

[Nick McGowan]: we connected through linkedin he had reached out and we started up conversation i

[Nick McGowan]: think it was through the podcast like hey i saw that you

[Brian Goldsack]: i

[Nick McGowan]: have a podcast that’s chat and then through conversation we

[Brian Goldsack]: that’s right

[Nick McGowan]: realize that we both work with the same company that helps us with a podcast go

[Nick McGowan]: sales cast

[Brian Goldsack]: that’s right go sales cast

[Nick McGowan]: that’s free promotion for you boys we love you

[Nick McGowan]: so Brian i’m really glad that you’re here why don’t we just kick things off with

[Nick McGowan]: tell us one thing you do for a living and something that most people don’t know

[Nick McGowan]: about you

[Brian Goldsack]: sure one thing that i do for a living let’s see so i’m a financial advisor

[Brian Goldsack]: professionally and a podcast host as

[Brian Goldsack]: i also would say professionally who were running a proper podcast and we have been

[Brian Goldsack]: doing so june of twenty twenty one and something people don’t know about me is

[Brian Goldsack]: that uh i’ve run a martial arts school as well in in the town that i live in so

[Brian Goldsack]: i’ve been doing judo for many many years so on the weekends i’m a sense

[Nick McGowan]: nice

[Nick McGowan]: so i yeah i wouldn’t just assume that somebody’s a sensing it’s not like one of

[Nick McGowan]: those things you’re like hey you know what you kind of look like you’re close to a

[Nick McGowan]: ninja

[Brian Goldsack]: you got a sense a vibe about you yeah

[Nick McGowan]: i kind of have a little sense say about your sense a

[Brian Goldsack]: that was good that was good i liked that one yeah i’ve been doing judo for

[Brian Goldsack]: probably

[Brian Goldsack]: eleven years and um my instructor passed away in twenty twenty and believe it or

[Brian Goldsack]: not in his will he willed me the name of the school

[Brian Goldsack]: and

[Nick McGowan]: whoa

[Brian Goldsack]: i

[Brian Goldsack]: i just picked it up and kept going with it

[Nick McGowan]: so time out let’s let’s pick that apart a little bit so you would

[Brian Goldsack]: sure

[Nick McGowan]: you’d been there long enough that i guess you the guy kind of considered you part

[Nick McGowan]: as family or something had did you guys have conversations before that like hey

[Nick McGowan]: just in case you die like if somebody gives you a throat chop uh can i take over

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: like how did you guys get to that

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah so i mean i was a very loyal student for years and years and years and i took

[Brian Goldsack]: the the martial art very seriously and i would go

[Brian Goldsack]: kind of like above and beyond i would train on the weekends with them and help him

[Brian Goldsack]: with seminars and whatnot and he’d say if anything ever happened to me you know

[Brian Goldsack]: would you want to keep this school going and i always wanted to have a martial art

[Brian Goldsack]: school so i said absolutely but i didn’t think you he would go so

[Nick McGowan]: well

[Brian Goldsack]: fast and one day he passed and here i am keeping the torch going

[Nick McGowan]: wow that’s gotta be tough it almost seems like if somebody dies that’s partner in

[Nick McGowan]: a business and then they just like hand it over but you weren’t even a partner in

[Nick McGowan]: it you were just a

[Brian Goldsack]: no

[Nick McGowan]: student and then next thing you know you got the keys and you’re running it how

[Nick McGowan]: did you handle i would

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: assume that person was a friend of yours so how did you handle that loss and then

[Nick McGowan]: stepping into a leadership role

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah it was a terrible

[Brian Goldsack]: in my life it was during covid which was a terrible time and so many people’s

[Brian Goldsack]: lives just in general living on earth in the year twenty twenty was

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: tough

[Brian Goldsack]: he ended up unfortunately taking his own life that year he suffered from some

[Brian Goldsack]: pretty serious depression and being cooped up alone in quarantine for all those

[Brian Goldsack]: months really wore on them and um

[Brian Goldsack]: so i had to

[Brian Goldsack]: effectively cope with a good friend of mine taking his own life while

[Brian Goldsack]: simultaneously doing all of the arduous paperwork to make like an llc and find the

[Brian Goldsack]: location for the business so on and so forth and reopen the judo school about

[Brian Goldsack]: mm realistically a year after that just cause we were still on mock down

[Nick McGowan]: jeez

[Nick McGowan]: so

[Brian Goldsack]: interesting

[Nick McGowan]: was there any signs to any of that or was it just kind of out a left field that

[Nick McGowan]: he’s just no longer here

[Brian Goldsack]: it’s like one of those things where

[Brian Goldsack]: you

[Brian Goldsack]: you’d realize the signs after it already happened because sometimes there’s people

[Brian Goldsack]: that are perhaps a bit

[Brian Goldsack]: negative just by their demeanour a bit cynical or they’re always anxious and

[Brian Goldsack]: stressed about things um and he go you know that’s just the way he is you know

[Brian Goldsack]: that’s just the way fred is but then one day it became very real um and uh

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: so in retrospect there were many signs but kind of when you were just living with

[Brian Goldsack]: them you didn’t really notice it was happening

[Nick McGowan]: sure like hindsight be in twenty twenty i’d imagine

[Brian Goldsack]: exactly

[Nick McGowan]: that’s got to be super difficult to look back and go oh my gosh here it is

[Nick McGowan]: people listen to this podcast that they’ve been close to suicide

[Nick McGowan]: i’ve been there i i know there are people that have lost people due to suicide and

[Nick McGowan]: i think it’s always interesting for us to be able to look at those situations and

[Nick McGowan]: it’s a reminder to us to to be alive you know we are all

[Brian Goldsack]: that’s true

[Nick McGowan]: think when we were little kids we thought we were invincible we could do whatever

[Nick McGowan]: you know and you’re totally good

[Brian Goldsack]: sure

[Nick McGowan]: you’re going to live and everything’s fine but as you get older you start to see

[Nick McGowan]: different people kind of drop

[Nick McGowan]: and um

[Nick McGowan]: i’m sorry to hear about your friend uh unfortunately your friend wasn’t the only

[Nick McGowan]: one that did that

[Nick McGowan]: throughout covid so if you had to

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: talk to somebody that was going through that situation now that lost somebody

[Nick McGowan]: what sort of tips or you know tricks would you give them to be able to manage

[Nick McGowan]: their mindset in a tough situation like that

[Brian Goldsack]: that lost somebody yeah that’s that’s a great question for somebody that is

[Brian Goldsack]: contemplating suicide

[Brian Goldsack]: i mean it’s one of those things where you say

[Brian Goldsack]: seek out professional help

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: but most people kind of know that already so i really don’t know what to say

[Brian Goldsack]: perhaps that maybe you can give some advice but for the person

[Brian Goldsack]: and for the people that remain in light of a loved one committing suicide

[Brian Goldsack]: for me Nick if i’m being honest i’m even getting my clothes off now but

[Brian Goldsack]: it it took me a while

[Brian Goldsack]: to allow it to sink in and i think for me

[Brian Goldsack]: kind of being numb to it was a defense mechanism some people though allow

[Brian Goldsack]: themselves to feel the pain immediately

[Brian Goldsack]: god he

[Brian Goldsack]: he actually sent me so after he passed away the day after i received a a a letter

[Brian Goldsack]: in the mail full of letters and it was all letters that he wanted me to read to

[Brian Goldsack]: other people in his life

[Nick McGowan]: whoa

[Brian Goldsack]: so

[Brian Goldsack]: i had the judo school i had the letters so i had to read and call these people and

[Brian Goldsack]: break the news to them and read kind of like his last words so the reason i say

[Brian Goldsack]: this is i i had like a lot of responsibility

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Brian Goldsack]: in light of his passing that i think i didn’t allow myself to feel afterwards

[Brian Goldsack]: because i didn’t want to let him down and i felt like i had work to do

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: in order to

[Brian Goldsack]: to make sure that his wishes were met

[Brian Goldsack]: however

[Brian Goldsack]: simultaneously while that terrible thing was happening many good things were

[Brian Goldsack]: happening in my life my business was taking off i have healthy happy children i

[Brian Goldsack]: move to a new house

[Brian Goldsack]: but i wasn’t happy i wasn’t feeling any of the feelings that you would hope to

[Brian Goldsack]: feel when happy things were happening to you and later after much thinking and

[Brian Goldsack]: much prayer and reflection and studying

[Brian Goldsack]: i found out that if you’re always putting up a wall to protect yourself from pain

[Brian Goldsack]: that same wall protects protects you from joy and from experience and joy as well

[Brian Goldsack]: so it took me a while to kind of melt that wall and feel the pain in order for the

[Brian Goldsack]: joy to also start to seep back into my life as well so for your listeners that

[Brian Goldsack]: maybe did lose somebody that if they’re like me and put up a wall and to just you

[Brian Goldsack]: know be tough through it um

[Brian Goldsack]: just know that the same wall that protects you

[Brian Goldsack]: from sorrow also blocks out joy

[Nick McGowan]: man that’s a powerful statement because the wall is a wall like no matter what

[Nick McGowan]: it’s still a wall i’m a very visual guy

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: so as i think about that i almost think of like a cartoon brick wall like one of

[Nick McGowan]: those big old brick

[Brian Goldsack]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: walls it is difficult to get through but you can get around it you can get over it

[Nick McGowan]: but that’s still tough i mean twenty twenty wasn’t too too long ago i would

[Nick McGowan]: imagine it wasn’t directly into twenty twenty heck we all went into uh covid or

[Nick McGowan]: the quarantine rather but march april for some people

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: so it had to have been some time since then so really this is still kind of raw

[Nick McGowan]: you know there’s certain people i talk to that they’re like look i’m still working

[Nick McGowan]: through traumas that happened when i was a child

[Brian Goldsack]: she

[Nick McGowan]: you’re working through something that happened maybe a year ago a year and a half

[Nick McGowan]: ago you

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: know and being able to go through that i want to kind of jump to a different side

[Nick McGowan]: same topic here but ask a question that might be a little difficult

[Nick McGowan]: i like to think of things from different angles and think of different people that

[Nick McGowan]: are listening to this that might have a thought that have been through similar

[Nick McGowan]: spot but how did you handle this person taking making a decision to take their own

[Nick McGowan]: life and in some ways dumping these things on to you and saying well i can’t do

[Nick McGowan]: this now you have to

[Nick McGowan]: how did you handle that

[Brian Goldsack]: it was difficult work but i also felt honored

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: at the same time

[Brian Goldsack]: um

[Brian Goldsack]: his daughter actually asked me the same question months and months and months

[Brian Goldsack]: after it happened and i said it was a lot like if your father

[Brian Goldsack]: gave me a farm

[Brian Goldsack]: and he said hey Brian i just gave you a farm in my will and it’s like forty acres

[Brian Goldsack]: and there’s sheep on it and apple trees and here you go

[Nick McGowan]: ahead

[Brian Goldsack]: here’s a farm and on the surface you’re like oh cool a farm but then you get there

[Brian Goldsack]: and you have to like shovel

[Brian Goldsack]: sheep excrement and you know prune apple trees

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: and you know there’s coyote trying to eat your flock and you’re like oh my god

[Brian Goldsack]: this is crazy i didn’t sign up for

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Brian Goldsack]: this like this is a lot but every so often i mean you’re sitting on that farm

[Brian Goldsack]: and the sun is setting on it and the sheep are happy

[Brian Goldsack]: and you got fresh produce and you’re sitting there with your kids

[Brian Goldsack]: it’s beautiful and you you see it as a blessing so the inheritance of the judo

[Brian Goldsack]: school was a lot of work but then when i see little kids come in that are learning

[Brian Goldsack]: a sport or members of the community coming in to stay healthy and then you’re

[Brian Goldsack]: having little christmas parties and we’re all hanging out and you know we’re

[Brian Goldsack]: cracking jokes and we’re having barbecues together and we’re getting stronger

[Brian Goldsack]: together i feel a lot of joy and i feel as if it were a

[Brian Goldsack]: blessing

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: there’s only one way to be able to actually put that in the words what you just

[Nick McGowan]: did and that’s through processing if you didn’t process it you wouldn’t have

[Nick McGowan]: arrived at that space

[Nick McGowan]: so in this short period of time since it all happened you been were gifted to

[Nick McGowan]: school and you had to learn how to do all those things and kind of jump into that

[Nick McGowan]: business now here you are you’re able to have some memories and be able to look

[Nick McGowan]: back that’s a beautiful space to be in where it seems like it’s at a a space of

[Nick McGowan]: gratitude to be able to say well here’s what i have and to see the positive side

[Nick McGowan]: of things let’s take a jump back even further to little Brian where where did that

[Nick McGowan]: come from were you kind of raised in a like a super positive atmosphere were you

[Nick McGowan]: raised in a situation that was super tough and you just kind of jumped to the

[Nick McGowan]: opposite side of that what did your uh what did drop ring look like

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah i mean i was raised in

[Brian Goldsack]: kind of like in a working class family my mother was always an entrepreneur uh she

[Brian Goldsack]: was a hairdresser and now she’s a baker so my mother always had something going on

[Brian Goldsack]: where she was like creative and making money usually with her

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: hands my father

[Brian Goldsack]: when when i was born

[Brian Goldsack]: was a subcontractor but prior to that was a psychologist so there was always this

[Brian Goldsack]: element of

[Brian Goldsack]: kind of like deeper

[Nick McGowan]: he

[Brian Goldsack]: reflection that i was raised in and like analysis of kind of like the emotions

[Brian Goldsack]: that i’m feeling and why am i thinking the way i’m thinking that was always part

[Brian Goldsack]: of growing up like my dad was trained he was like a psychoanalyst

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Brian Goldsack]: so

[Brian Goldsack]: you know when you’re like eight years old and you’re like daddy i had a dream

[Brian Goldsack]: about you know a volcano and uh gorilla he would sit you down and like peel it

[Brian Goldsack]: apart for like

[Nick McGowan]: you’re like um the gorilla though it was just can we talk about the gorilla he’s

[Nick McGowan]: like no let’s get into this

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah he’s he’ll be like what color was the gorilla and you’re like oh god what

[Brian Goldsack]: significance

[Nick McGowan]: brownish

[Brian Goldsack]: are you pulling from this stream but yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: and he would have significance and one story i always like to tell about um my dad

[Brian Goldsack]: was he was the type of guy that could just really um

[Brian Goldsack]: make anybody feel very comfortable very

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: quickly and i remember one time i was sitting in the car with him

[Brian Goldsack]: like napping and we pulled up to a toll in new york city

[Brian Goldsack]: and i woke up for split second and heard him paying the toll and begin to speak

[Brian Goldsack]: with the the person working the toll remember waking up about fifteen minutes

[Brian Goldsack]: later and he was still talking to that lady and like

[Brian Goldsack]: the lady was like yeah that’s why you know i never really get along with my mom

[Brian Goldsack]: anymore and i’m like damn how did he get this deed with this lady this fast and

[Brian Goldsack]: how mad are the people

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: behind us right now

[Brian Goldsack]: so i was raised in a household where we think a lot about our

[Nick McGowan]: well

[Brian Goldsack]: thoughts and i was also raised in a creative household and

[Brian Goldsack]: i don’t know sometimes i think about

[Brian Goldsack]: gratitude and

[Brian Goldsack]: honestly i think

[Brian Goldsack]: y you live one time

[Brian Goldsack]: you want to have as much joy as humanly possible

[Brian Goldsack]: so i try to align myself

[Brian Goldsack]: with a philosophy that’s gonna make me feel good

[Brian Goldsack]: and i find that being gracious and being respectful and being kind and being

[Brian Goldsack]: joyful makes me feel better to be that way so why would i choose to feel a way

[Brian Goldsack]: that doesn’t make me feel that

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Brian Goldsack]: so that’s i mean

[Brian Goldsack]: i don’t know if that makes sense but that’s just kind of the way i um

[Nick McGowan]: oh totally

[Brian Goldsack]: why be sad if you can be joyful if you have the choice why would you pick the bad

[Nick McGowan]: right there yeah uh yeah absolutely right there you’ve always got a a black or a

[Brian Goldsack]: one

[Nick McGowan]: white choice no matter what you can be shitty about something or you can be

[Nick McGowan]: excited about something you could be positive or negative so the fact that you

[Nick McGowan]: came from a an environment that really taught you about using your mind going

[Nick McGowan]: through your thoughts and that you had a dad that as a toddler basically that was

[Nick McGowan]: like let’s lets think about all of this and peel it apart i imagine there were

[Brian Goldsack]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: times where you’re like i don’t want to i don’t understand

[Nick McGowan]: what we’re talking about what what’s going on but i’m sure you

[Brian Goldsack]: i don’t want to do this no

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: also learned a lot years later when you can look back at it i joke with people

[Nick McGowan]: that i think we learn a lot from our parents but we also learn a lot of what not

[Nick McGowan]: to do from our parents love you mom and dad you know there are certain things that

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: happen that you go huh note to self don’t do that and then there are other things

[Nick McGowan]: you go where you go damn that’s exactly how it’s done

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah i actually i was speaking to a professor of mine he was a literature

[Brian Goldsack]: professor and i was voicing some frustrations i had about my dad this was like

[Brian Goldsack]: maybe like ten years ago and he goes yeah Brian you’re you’re gonna go through

[Brian Goldsack]: that he goes when you’re little you think your dad’s amazing when you get to your

[Brian Goldsack]: teenage years into your mid twenties you think your dad’s an idiot he goes but

[Brian Goldsack]: then there’s gonna come a day where your parents are

[Nick McGowan]: but

[Brian Goldsack]: gone

[Brian Goldsack]: and it’s just you and you’re a man alone in this world

[Brian Goldsack]: and you think about

[Brian Goldsack]: what did your dad do

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: to be able to put up with this suffering and i wish that he was still here to

[Brian Goldsack]: share with me how he made it through this part of his life so there was always a

[Brian Goldsack]: part of

[Brian Goldsack]: kind of my thinking that was like your parents can be irritating for sure but

[Brian Goldsack]: there’s gonna be a day where they’re not here so always try to love them and

[Brian Goldsack]: respect them and try to not sweat the small stuff with the shortcomings because

[Brian Goldsack]: there’s gonna be a day where you’re like damn i wish i just gave my mom a couple

[Brian Goldsack]: more

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Brian Goldsack]: hugs when she was here

[Nick McGowan]: yeah it’s hard to realize that as a shitty kid you know or somebody

[Brian Goldsack]: sure

[Nick McGowan]: in high school that’s like screw you mom and dad i’m gonna go do whatever i want

[Nick McGowan]: remember

[Brian Goldsack]: yes yes

[Nick McGowan]: there was a time i think i was

[Nick McGowan]: about in my teens like early teens or so and my dad told me basically what you

[Nick McGowan]: started off with like you’re gonna go through these stages you’re gonna

[Brian Goldsack]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: be teenager you’re gonna think i’m an idiot by the time you’re eighteen you’re

[Nick McGowan]: gonna know i’m an idiot and by the time you’re twenty one you’re gonna be like

[Brian Goldsack]: yep

[Nick McGowan]: you know pop was right in certain ways but that guy i still know all things in the

[Nick McGowan]: world by

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: the time you hit twenty five you’re gonna be like wait maybe you knew a couple

[Nick McGowan]: things and then by the time you reach thirty you’re gonna be like oh

[Nick McGowan]: dude’s stone i had conversations with him and he was like told you told you told

[Brian Goldsack]: ch

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Brian Goldsack]: here yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but how do you

[Brian Goldsack]: it’s so true

[Nick McGowan]: how do you do that when you were a little kid and you’re in the moment we can’t

[Nick McGowan]: but now you’re a dad so what does that

[Brian Goldsack]: you can’t

[Nick McGowan]: look like for you to be able to empower your children knowing what you know and

[Nick McGowan]: what you’ve gone through

[Brian Goldsack]: ah hm

[Brian Goldsack]: well

[Brian Goldsack]: it’s um

[Brian Goldsack]: when you become a dad it really makes you think about the way you are because to

[Brian Goldsack]: your point

[Brian Goldsack]: the

[Brian Goldsack]: the way you parent your children has such a profound effect on the type of people

[Brian Goldsack]: that they become

[Brian Goldsack]: that it then makes you begin to question

[Brian Goldsack]: your philosophies you want to make sure that you’re setting your kids up to be

[Brian Goldsack]: successful you want to make sure that you’re setting your kids up to be joyful you

[Brian Goldsack]: want to make sure that you’re setting your kids up to have peace in their life and

[Brian Goldsack]: to be okay

[Brian Goldsack]: so

[Brian Goldsack]: for me when i i mean my children are only four but the last four years of my life

[Brian Goldsack]: have been a perpetual state of self analysis questioning all of

[Nick McGowan]: true

[Brian Goldsack]: the things that i accept it as true to make sure that there’s not some bus stuck

[Brian Goldsack]: in my brain that is gonna hurt them in some way so hopefully i can refine that out

[Brian Goldsack]: to to allow them to

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Brian Goldsack]: cope in this world there’s so much craziness in this world do you want them to

[Brian Goldsack]: have a good

[Brian Goldsack]: solid foundation while they’re still with you to be able to survive

[Nick McGowan]: and it’s a solid point that uh you know i i’ve heard different people say i think

[Nick McGowan]: everybody needs to take a test like you need to be able to take a test to pass

[Nick McGowan]: that test to have kids and that might be part of that test to be able to actually

[Nick McGowan]: go through and think about all the stuff um i would imagine that’s probably easier

[Nick McGowan]: when you go to plan children like all right so let’s start this thing let’s pop

[Nick McGowan]: out a couple kids instead of being like oh well we had a party and um by the way

[Nick McGowan]: gonna have

[Brian Goldsack]: here they are

[Nick McGowan]: a kid in about eight months you know um but being able to actually plan

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah for real

[Nick McGowan]: that stuff out and think it through

[Nick McGowan]: i think that’s look and i don’t have kids i i don’t i want kids at some point

[Nick McGowan]: don’t have any right now but i couldn’t imagine what life would have been like if

[Nick McGowan]: i had a kid when my parents had me and they were in their young twenties so i

[Nick McGowan]: remember growing up thinking like you guys don’t know what you’re doing and

[Nick McGowan]: whatever and really they did the best that they could because in some ways i was

[Nick McGowan]: right they had no fucking idea what they were doing but they were doing everything

[Nick McGowan]: they could to be able to do the best thing for the kid couldn’t imagine

[Brian Goldsack]: interesting question

[Nick McGowan]: having a kid at a younger age but not knowing all the things that i know now so

[Nick McGowan]: for you to be able to kind of hyper focus

[Nick McGowan]: and go i’m gonna digg in all

[Brian Goldsack]: see

[Nick McGowan]: of this and then your buddy takes his life that’s an immense amount so kind of

[Nick McGowan]: sidebar here man how are you doing you all right you doing okay

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: to be honest uh

[Brian Goldsack]: i mean i there’s definitely

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Brian Goldsack]: suffering um

[Brian Goldsack]: in my heart but i i guess to me

[Brian Goldsack]: i never thought that there wasn’t supposed to be suffering if that makes sense

[Brian Goldsack]: so i think

[Brian Goldsack]: i was always under the impression that

[Brian Goldsack]: there’s just going to be a certain element of life where terrible terrible

[Brian Goldsack]: terrible things

[Brian Goldsack]: could happen at any time i didn’t expect i mean that wasn’t the only thing that

[Brian Goldsack]: happened in twenty twenty to me my sister passed away

[Nick McGowan]: oh man

[Brian Goldsack]: from lung cancer one of my buddies who um

[Brian Goldsack]: was gonna help me open the judo school diet of covid his anniversary is coming up

[Brian Goldsack]: in about three days of his death so there’s a lot of wacky my grandmother died it

[Brian Goldsack]: so all of these crazy things happen to me and

[Brian Goldsack]: but the whole time i felt the pain i allowed myself to feel the pain but i don’t

[Brian Goldsack]: think i ever expected for life to not have pain so i think for me the reason i’m

[Brian Goldsack]: able to

[Brian Goldsack]: kind of cope and not go cookie is

[Brian Goldsack]: i kinda like i don’t know i thought any this could happen at any time so when

[Brian Goldsack]: you’re kind of like thinking to yourself hey there is going to be a few scoops of

[Brian Goldsack]: suffering in

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: this life

[Brian Goldsack]: you feel okay about not okay about it but you can cope better with it when it

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Brian Goldsack]: happens

[Nick McGowan]: yeah that makes me think of um the people that just say well this isn’t fair life

[Nick McGowan]: isn’t fair i wasn’t supposed to be dealt this hand or what have you and that

[Nick McGowan]: almost looks like you’re just looking backward instead of going well all right

[Nick McGowan]: here’s what we got in front of us how do we move along and i think that’s

[Brian Goldsack]: great way to say it

[Nick McGowan]: i mean that’s a major point of the mindset you know to be able to figure out like

[Nick McGowan]: here’s where i’m at what’s going on do you remember the movie memento

[Nick McGowan]: from

[Brian Goldsack]: now

[Nick McGowan]: i think it was the mid two

[Nick McGowan]: thousands this guy basically had like a goldfish mind where he would just remember

[Brian Goldsack]: tell me ben

[Nick McGowan]: for a couple seconds at a time he had to be hyper aware because that’s all he was

[Nick McGowan]: he was living in the moment he was

[Brian Goldsack]: well

[Nick McGowan]: present and i remember there was one time where he was running and he came to and

[Nick McGowan]: he was a go shit so i think i’m running after that guy and he was like go oh fuck

[Nick McGowan]: he’s runn after me then he turns around because he realized but in that moment it

[Nick McGowan]: took him a couple seconds could be like where am i what’s going on and i’m moving

[Nick McGowan]: along but it’s that awareness

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: to be able to be in that moment that i think some people just get stuck in well i

[Nick McGowan]: don’t like how this thing worked out and i really want to be upset about it it’s

[Nick McGowan]: like look you you can be upset about it you can talk

[Brian Goldsack]: sure

[Nick McGowan]: to people you can think through the stuff but you’ve got to be able to get through

[Nick McGowan]: it and you’ve got to actually call out what’s going on and be mindful of it man i

[Nick McGowan]: didn’t know that you’ve gone through as much stuff

[Brian Goldsack]: she

[Nick McGowan]: that you’ve gone through that’s an immense amount and for you to be as positive as

[Nick McGowan]: you are i think is a testament to what you’ve put in place with the process that

[Nick McGowan]: you kind of have that you’ve gone through we’ve scratched a service a little bit

[Nick McGowan]: of the processing that you’ve done because you’ve kind of given me the ends like

[Nick McGowan]: the book ends in a sense this is what happened these things happened but in those

[Nick McGowan]: moments where you were just not in a good head space how did you get yourself back

[Brian Goldsack]: wow great question

[Brian Goldsack]: how did i get myself

[Brian Goldsack]: back

[Brian Goldsack]: well

[Brian Goldsack]: i i got very into

[Brian Goldsack]: my faith

[Brian Goldsack]: i started

[Brian Goldsack]: reading a lot about god about spirituality um which always has helped me e even

[Brian Goldsack]: prior to this

[Brian Goldsack]: prior to all the twenty twenty stuff that was happening

[Brian Goldsack]: and what i tried to do was just really think

[Brian Goldsack]: you know

[Brian Goldsack]: i have a lot of blessings too

[Brian Goldsack]: there was a lot of things that i had to be joyful for my life

[Brian Goldsack]: and

[Brian Goldsack]: i didn’t want the sorrow

[Brian Goldsack]: and the circumstances that affected me in twenty twenty

[Brian Goldsack]: to have a negative impact

[Brian Goldsack]: on

[Brian Goldsack]: the happy parts of my life i wanted to be able to to accept the the bad parts feel

[Brian Goldsack]: the pain from the bad parts but i also wanted to be in a good enough space to feel

[Brian Goldsack]: good about the good parts so what i did was i started to get into my faith and not

[Brian Goldsack]: just my faith i started just reading about religion

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: in general i i was reading this one book called the tanya where i was listening to

[Brian Goldsack]: a lecture on it which is was an orthodox judaism im christian but i’ll study

[Brian Goldsack]: anything anything

[Brian Goldsack]: and um that helped me out a lot i was listening to lectures on that and then

[Brian Goldsack]: i started to get very creative i started to get very creative i started to

[Brian Goldsack]: try to express myself more and get into

[Brian Goldsack]: some of the goals that i had in

[Nick McGowan]: who

[Brian Goldsack]: life which is what ultimately ended up leading to me starting a podcast with my co

[Brian Goldsack]: host chris sykes so the summer of twenty twenty one was kind of like when things

[Brian Goldsack]: simmered down and i was like look you only live once

[Brian Goldsack]: why don’t i try this podcast thing that i’ve been talking about for years but i

[Brian Goldsack]: never did it and i linked up with my co host chris sykes that summer and if any

[Brian Goldsack]: chris pss he’s like a pit bull you’re like if you say hey chris i was thinking

[Brian Goldsack]: about uh sailing as a hobby two weeks later chris sykes will have a sail boat

[Brian Goldsack]: purchased and a captain and he’ll be like look it’s out on the docks

[Nick McGowan]: let’s go

[Brian Goldsack]: right now let’s go and you’re like damn all right here we go so he’s like so chris

[Brian Goldsack]: sykes came into my life and

[Brian Goldsack]: you know we we started trying some stuff we started taking some risks trying to

[Brian Goldsack]: you know leave the realm of the past and try to make the future super exciting

[Nick McGowan]: so now that you’re in the podcast world uh it sounds like there’s a lot of people

[Nick McGowan]: that started the podcast and i’m one of those where you’ve talked about it for a

[Nick McGowan]: while and you’re like i should do it i should do it i should do it and then by the

[Nick McGowan]: time you get into it you realize wow this is a lot more fun there’s a lot of work

[Nick McGowan]: but this is a lot to uh to kind of digest and we get to have these awesome

[Nick McGowan]: conversations like you’re having now so you went through all of that and then

[Nick McGowan]: you’re like you know it’s about summer time what do you say we just start up a

[Nick McGowan]: podcast i don’t have enough stuff going on

[Brian Goldsack]: yep

[Nick McGowan]: so let’s dive into that yet you and i had a conversation recently where you told

[Nick McGowan]: me that you were right around fifty episodes which is a giant milestone a lot of

[Nick McGowan]: podcasts never get close to that

[Brian Goldsack]: thank you

[Nick McGowan]: because people get through a couple and go this out like this is too much work

[Brian Goldsack]: yep yep

[Nick McGowan]: i don’t want to deal with it i don’t know how to talk or whatever but i think as

[Nick McGowan]: you go on i’m right around ten episodes uh at this point by the time

[Brian Goldsack]: that’s huge

[Nick McGowan]: yours comes out it’ll be you know handful past that and there’s a lot of stuff

[Nick McGowan]: that i’ve learned already through this but for you to have to process through

[Nick McGowan]: everything you have to process through and then to jump into a podcast do you feel

[Nick McGowan]: like some of that was uh you seeking a bit of therapy

[Brian Goldsack]: that’s a great great observation there could be an element to that for sure i mean

[Brian Goldsack]: really the nature of the show is pondering the question what does it actually

[Brian Goldsack]: mean

[Brian Goldsack]: to be successful

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: and

[Brian Goldsack]: both my co host and i work in financial services so we go into it with kind of a

[Brian Goldsack]: fun well we went into it with very like finance driven kind of frame of mind

[Brian Goldsack]: so the beginning of our show was almost exclusively interviewing very successful

[Brian Goldsack]: entrepreneurs and business owners and executives and attorneys but the more we

[Brian Goldsack]: started going into the show we we started to realize that

[Brian Goldsack]: even like these top executives have

[Brian Goldsack]: their own version of what they view success to be so then it started to

[Nick McGowan]: hey

[Brian Goldsack]: shift now we have spiritual leaders on the show and people that are in nonprofit

[Brian Goldsack]: organizations and historians and psychologists and physiologist try to get this

[Brian Goldsack]: whole mind body spirit approach to it so i think

[Brian Goldsack]: the

[Brian Goldsack]: the the bad experiences i had

[Brian Goldsack]: got that question going in my mind as to like when you’re on your death

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: bed when you’re sitting there

[Brian Goldsack]: and you know

[Brian Goldsack]: you are

[Brian Goldsack]: moments away from taking your last breath and you were reflecting upon your life

[Brian Goldsack]: what’s it really going to take for you to feel

[Brian Goldsack]: like you did a good job

[Brian Goldsack]: that you can say hey mission accomplished is it financial will you sit down and

[Brian Goldsack]: say my god i wish my four hundred one thousand was just a little bit bigger now i

[Brian Goldsack]: don’t feel like i had a fulfilling life right

[Brian Goldsack]: is it spiritual is it family is it physical right so we don’t really have the

[Brian Goldsack]: answers but the entire podcast is just trying to figure the answers out to have a

[Brian Goldsack]: more well rounded philosophy on it

[Nick McGowan]: man i love that you have a platform for people to actually be able to get on and

[Nick McGowan]: talk about that stuff’ gonna jump out on a limb here pretty thick limb but i can

[Nick McGowan]: almost guess that most people haven’t thought about that

[Nick McGowan]: they don’t think about that we’ve

[Brian Goldsack]: and

[Nick McGowan]: heard so many times well you don’t want to regret something on your death bed and

[Nick McGowan]: people are like oh yeah i won’t you know i like what i do blah blah blah blah blah

[Nick McGowan]: but i think of the back of their mind they’re like fuck that i’ll think about that

[Nick McGowan]: in the future i’ll let future me deal with that when they’re lying on their death

[Nick McGowan]: bed because it’s just too difficult to

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: get to that now obviously with your show you have people that have thought through

[Nick McGowan]: that hence the guests that you’re able to talk through but can you share some of

[Nick McGowan]: the stuff that you guys have gone through and some of the tips and tricks and

[Nick McGowan]: maybe some of the patterns that you’ve kind of caught throughout these

[Nick McGowan]: conversations

[Brian Goldsack]: sure

[Brian Goldsack]: i would say

[Brian Goldsack]: that a lot of the people

[Brian Goldsack]: that

[Brian Goldsack]: feel that they are living successful

[Nick McGowan]: what would you

[Brian Goldsack]: fulfilling lives are on the edge of where their creative minds are capable

[Brian Goldsack]: of going

[Brian Goldsack]: okay if that well i’ll explain

[Nick McGowan]: please

[Brian Goldsack]: what i mean because it’s kind of a cryptic vague statement

[Brian Goldsack]: so there are plenty of people that always wonder hey if i really was doing what i

[Brian Goldsack]: wanted to do i would start that

[Nick McGowan]: mm hm

[Brian Goldsack]: business or i would you know move out into the woods of alaska and just trying to

[Brian Goldsack]: live off the land or i would make that hot tub

[Brian Goldsack]: manufacturing plant

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: whatever right like we all have these things that we’re into we all have our own

[Brian Goldsack]: interests we all have our own desires our imagination goes to these places where

[Brian Goldsack]: you know if only if if only if i think i would feel happy if i were here i think i

[Brian Goldsack]: would feel happy if i did this so i feel like that’s just part of the human

[Brian Goldsack]: condition right the people that have achieved success and feel fulfilled are the

[Brian Goldsack]: ones that

[Brian Goldsack]: tried it

[Brian Goldsack]: are the ones that actually said i want to open up a hot tub manufacturing plant so

[Brian Goldsack]: i’m going to open up a hot tub manufacturing plant and it doesn’t mean that it

[Brian Goldsack]: will always work but sometimes they will

[Brian Goldsack]: end up hitting gold or through failure find out what in fact they did want to do

[Brian Goldsack]: but i think a lot of people kind of live like in this shell thinking about what if

[Brian Goldsack]: what if what if never try any of the

[Nick McGowan]: heck

[Brian Goldsack]: things and then later regret not even giving it a shot with one because they’re

[Brian Goldsack]: afraid that they’re gonna

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Brian Goldsack]: fail

[Brian Goldsack]: they they was super successful respect failure um try to prevent failure at all

[Brian Goldsack]: costs but a failure happens they view it as kind of like

[Brian Goldsack]: you know the learning experience which you hear that a lot but really that is what

[Brian Goldsack]: i’m noticing with them

[Nick McGowan]: yeah you got to take those hits and then be able to just keep moving along again i

[Nick McGowan]: think it goes back to the awareness of that you know the people that

[Nick McGowan]: they just uh something happens and they go well that’s it i knew it was gonna

[Nick McGowan]: happen i knew it was gonna end up like this this is just be shitty and that’s the

[Nick McGowan]: way that goes i almost think that’s uh kind of

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: teeters on the line to the fixed and growth mindset because the people that have

[Nick McGowan]: the growth

[Brian Goldsack]: ah

[Nick McGowan]: mindset are looking in that direction to go well i expect that i’m going to get

[Nick McGowan]: punched in the mouth every once in a while i just hope that i don’t lose any teeth

[Nick McGowan]: you know and kind of keep going um

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: other people

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: just go why i got knocked out

[Nick McGowan]: and i got knocked out and they stay there you know i i often will pray that prayer

[Nick McGowan]: to god where i’m like stretch me that’s one of those things where i’m like this is

[Nick McGowan]: just painful and i’m like i know that you’re gonna open up opportunities and i’m

[Nick McGowan]: willing so stretch me go for it and slam my face into the wall but just don’t

[Nick McGowan]: break my nose like just make me get the point and be able to understand where

[Nick McGowan]: things are going

[Nick McGowan]: so i think if we have the right mindset success can really be whatever we want it

[Nick McGowan]: to be do you agree with that

[Brian Goldsack]: absolutely absolutely i was something that you said reminded me of a conversation

[Brian Goldsack]: i was having with my cousin in law shout out to joe carlo

[Nick McGowan]: joe joe

[Brian Goldsack]: so he uh he is a phd material science engineer from cornell so he’s like

[Nick McGowan]: pardon me then doctor joe

[Brian Goldsack]: crazy brilliant and we’re doctor joe doctor carlo and yes so he was i was like you

[Brian Goldsack]: know anytime i’m around somebody super smart i just have to pick their brain on

[Brian Goldsack]: the thing they’re super smartt in because like stu knows a lot about metal why am

[Brian Goldsack]: i gonna talk to him about like you know japanese politics like it’s stupid right

[Brian Goldsack]: so i’m talking to him about metal and i was like why did the japanese fold their

[Brian Goldsack]: metal so much when they were making a sword and he explained to me that um

[Brian Goldsack]: kind of like atoms when they’re resting are very happy just resting they’re very

[Brian Goldsack]: happy like iron atoms they just want to be iron atoms they don’t want anything to

[Brian Goldsack]: happen they just want to be what they are but as things get heated up and you bend

[Brian Goldsack]: the metal and you slam it together with a mallet it starts to excite the iron

[Brian Goldsack]: atoms and it starts to kind of create a little bit of chaos inside that little

[Brian Goldsack]: lump of

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Brian Goldsack]: metal that you have and then if you bend it again and fold it again it creates

[Brian Goldsack]: more chaos and it excites the ion iron atoms even more and the more you bend and

[Brian Goldsack]: fold bend and fold the more chaotic the atomic structure of that lump becomes and

[Brian Goldsack]: it could get to the point where it becomes so chaotic that anything it touches it

[Brian Goldsack]: cuts through because it’s just all these crazy chaotic atoms in a little bar and

[Brian Goldsack]: that’s how you make a strong

[Brian Goldsack]: versatile sort

[Brian Goldsack]: okay so when i was listening to him i always try to gear things back into like

[Brian Goldsack]: their applicability

[Nick McGowan]: good

[Brian Goldsack]: and sometimes like you know tied into success right and i thought hm

[Brian Goldsack]: how true is that that sometimes through very chaotic hot crazy situations almost

[Brian Goldsack]: some type of a refining process happens and the more you can kind of just fold

[Brian Goldsack]: that into the way you’re living the more versatile and strong you become so you

[Brian Goldsack]: need to be able to kind of throw yourself in the furnace and allow that refining

[Brian Goldsack]: to occur in order for you to be able to to do some cool

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: shit

[Nick McGowan]: wow the refining process the visual to that i think of um just being afraid to

[Nick McGowan]: step into the fire and being like i know it’s right there but once we step in it’s

[Nick McGowan]: really our power to be able to actually grow from it everybody’s been through some

[Nick McGowan]: sh

[Brian Goldsack]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: everybody i don’t know anybody that hasn’t been through something i know people

[Nick McGowan]: that hide it you know people that just think that they

[Brian Goldsack]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: haven’t been through because that wall’s still there and they haven’t gotten

[Nick McGowan]: through it or processed through it but me’ fining i think back through even the

[Nick McGowan]: listeners right now take a moment and think back through some of those tough

[Nick McGowan]: situations that you’ve been through if you hadn’t gone through that situation

[Nick McGowan]: however terrible it was

[Nick McGowan]: you wouldn’t be who you are now

[Nick McGowan]: you know i think of people that

[Brian Goldsack]: ah

[Nick McGowan]: have terrible terrible things rapes murders and all those things that affect them

[Nick McGowan]: in certain ways and they can start pointing fingers or they can actually do

[Nick McGowan]: something with it

[Nick McGowan]: and it can be it can

[Brian Goldsack]: sure

[Nick McGowan]: be weird to some people i had a cousin that was uh murdered when i was in high

[Nick McGowan]: school and it was

[Brian Goldsack]: oh my god

[Nick McGowan]: it sucked it was especially it was twins so the one held the other as he died

[Brian Goldsack]: no

[Nick McGowan]: um and i remember saying

[Brian Goldsack]: no

[Nick McGowan]: to my mom like well this is something for us to learn from and it probably wasn’t

[Nick McGowan]: the right time to be able to say that cause we’re all just kind of hurting you

[Nick McGowan]: know and we’re at the wake and all that but it hit me at an early age and i’m not

[Nick McGowan]: exactly sure where that came from but i think that might be one of those just

[Nick McGowan]: innate traits of looking at the positive side of things and for those that don’t

[Nick McGowan]: have that innate trait really wish there was a pill we could give you and go hey

[Nick McGowan]: just look at the positive side of it but i think you said it earlier it’s a choice

[Nick McGowan]: right you can either be shitty or you can be happy and that choice is really up to

[Nick McGowan]: us

[Brian Goldsack]: i and first of all i’m sorry for the fact that you have to live through that and

[Brian Goldsack]: i’m a father of twins

[Nick McGowan]: hello

[Brian Goldsack]: myself so the way you just described that was heart wrenching

[Brian Goldsack]: but to your point you have to think you know if they were still with us how would

[Brian Goldsack]: they want you to cope with this but they want you to be in a prolonged state of

[Brian Goldsack]: suffering mourning their death or would they prefer if you took that situation

[Brian Goldsack]: and grew from it and became better i mean if i passed away i would want all the

[Brian Goldsack]: people that loved and cared about me to of course you know mourn my death i

[Brian Goldsack]: wouldn’t want people doing a

[Brian Goldsack]: cart wheel when i die don’t get me wrong

[Nick McGowan]: sure like he he’s gone

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah yeah he’s dead great i wouldn’t want that

[Brian Goldsack]: but uh

[Brian Goldsack]: on that same note i i wouldn’t want them to crumble from it either i wouldn’t want

[Brian Goldsack]: them to fall into a permanent state of depression that they were unable to get out

[Brian Goldsack]: of as like a homage to my death i i would not want them to be that way and nor do

[Brian Goldsack]: i think any of our

[Brian Goldsack]: ones that we

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: lost nor would they want us to be that way they’d want you to

[Brian Goldsack]: mourn them you know they it’s understandable but not a permanent state that’s not

[Brian Goldsack]: good

[Nick McGowan]: yeah that’s a good point man i’m sure if we think of the people that we’ve lost

[Nick McGowan]: if we think back to the conversations we’ve had with them if you were to actually

[Nick McGowan]: sit down in your mind’s eye have that conversation with that person they would

[Nick McGowan]: probably smack you outside your head whoever it is they’re like i’m gone what’s

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: wrong with you get the out there go do this go do that

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: oh i highly doubt

[Brian Goldsack]: da

[Nick McGowan]: there are any people even the people that have taken their lives that were sad

[Nick McGowan]: i would still assume that they would have a bit of a hey but you can do better

[Nick McGowan]: than i did instead of just yeah you should live here that almost seems like it’s a

[Nick McGowan]: demonic thing maybe maybe that’s a different podcast episode that we can go

[Nick McGowan]: through

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah that’s good i mean yeah you wouldn’t want

[Brian Goldsack]: y i mean you wouldn’t want to

[Brian Goldsack]: let that make you crumble i ah

[Brian Goldsack]: i mean if you end up growing from it

[Brian Goldsack]: hell you know

[Brian Goldsack]: make an amazing business

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: and name a building after them so they live on

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: forever so you know that’s that’s a homage that’s a real

[Nick McGowan]: yeah exactly

[Brian Goldsack]: hom you’ll make the martial art school in their name and make it a kick ass

[Brian Goldsack]: martial art school that you know is a pillar of the community that is what they

[Brian Goldsack]: would want

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: they they would’t want you to suffer

[Nick McGowan]: that’s a good point like taking the baton and it’s now your job to kind of run

[Nick McGowan]: with that it’s a responsibility but it’s also an opportunity

[Nick McGowan]: uh well man it seems like you’ve done a lot of work and that you continue to do a

[Nick McGowan]: lot of work so when you think about the deep work that you’re doing what are you

[Nick McGowan]: working through right now that just full honesty that you can say look i’m

[Nick McGowan]: struggling a bit with this but here’s how i’m working on that

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah great question

[Brian Goldsack]: so much of my thought is going to

[Brian Goldsack]: i mean re if i’m being honest with you going to the podcast

[Brian Goldsack]: i i think that this forum

[Brian Goldsack]: and this

[Brian Goldsack]: media platform that you and i function in is it’s almost like the digital

[Brian Goldsack]: equivalent of the wild west it’s like a new frontier where people are

[Brian Goldsack]: staking their claim and you know they’re doing the homesteading act you could put

[Brian Goldsack]: four stakes down wherever you want and make a farm there you can mine for gold you

[Brian Goldsack]: can trap raccoons and make hats at them there’s all it’s like the uh there’s so

[Brian Goldsack]: much opportunity here and there’s so much

[Nick McGowan]: cool

[Brian Goldsack]: room for you

[Brian Goldsack]: to

[Brian Goldsack]: to really get your voice out there and be honest and create in a way that i don’

[Brian Goldsack]: think we really could have done like let’s say if you and i had tv show

[Nick McGowan]: oh yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: or something like that

[Brian Goldsack]: and i think that

[Brian Goldsack]: having that degree of freedom creates a certain degree of stress in my mind

[Nick McGowan]: hey

[Brian Goldsack]: because when there’s this blank palate where they say hey Nick i’m giving you an

[Brian Goldsack]: easel paint on it

[Brian Goldsack]: you kind of go like oh my god what am i gonna paint on this damn thing and like

[Brian Goldsack]: you’re like should i draw flour mm i don’t know i don’t know if i like flowers

[Brian Goldsack]: that much i draw like

[Brian Goldsack]: a vas right should i do a portrait of my mom right so

[Brian Goldsack]: there’s a certain degree of

[Brian Goldsack]: uh

[Brian Goldsack]: stress that i feel right now because i want this show to be something that is

[Brian Goldsack]: unique i want the show to be something that can truly help people have a well

[Brian Goldsack]: rounded philosophy on life and one thing that my co host always says to me is

[Brian Goldsack]: whatever ends up happening with this show there is now a digital archive of some

[Brian Goldsack]: of your deepest thoughts available at the very least to your children so if one

[Brian Goldsack]: day i end up passing away and my kids ever say what the heck did my dad think what

[Brian Goldsack]: would my father have said or done in this type of situation if i had to face

[Brian Goldsack]: adversity or if i wanted to start a business or if i want her to be a spiritual

[Brian Goldsack]: leader

[Brian Goldsack]: whatever there’s going to be like a little digital catalog there for all of my

[Brian Goldsack]: loved ones so they can always truly know who i am and what i stood for at the very

[Brian Goldsack]: least so no matter what i view it as a win

[Nick McGowan]: he

[Brian Goldsack]: win but i still feel a certain amount of stress because i’m like come on we gotta

[Brian Goldsack]: rock this

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: like we got to make this something good we gonna make it awesome

[Nick McGowan]: yeah if you’re gonna do it you got to do it right like you can’t have asset and

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: got to go in and do it

[Nick McGowan]: and that can look different for everybody i think i’ve mentioned this before on

[Nick McGowan]: the podcast that there are certain people i talk to they’re like look i turn this

[Nick McGowan]: thing on i record then i’m finished and i upload and i move along with life and

[Nick McGowan]: that’s totally great and then there are other people that are like this is a full

[Nick McGowan]: production and people like you and i that actually joined forces with certain

[Nick McGowan]: companies to be able to help with some of that sort of stuff and that’s going

[Brian Goldsack]: right

[Nick McGowan]: through and using the resources to be able to help you

[Nick McGowan]: the fact that there’s a platform for us to be able to talk about the things that

[Nick McGowan]: matter to us is important more than i think a lot of people understand because i

[Nick McGowan]: think where social media wanted to go and maybe it’s still got time to get there

[Nick McGowan]: was to be able to be that documentation for people instead of just a positive

[Nick McGowan]: bullshit board where people go here’s this thing that i want you to see but i

[Nick McGowan]: don’t want to show you all the mess behind it i was actually thinking about that

[Nick McGowan]: earlier i

[Brian Goldsack]: huh

[Nick McGowan]: was recording episode an upcoming episode and doing some clips and i thought you

[Nick McGowan]: know the background looks great but if you look at my desk like it was so much

[Nick McGowan]: shit on my desk and stuff all over the place and i’m like that’s kind of example

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: social media like look at the background at some point i’ll show all the shit on

[Nick McGowan]: my desk it’s mainly just wires and guitar picks and

[Brian Goldsack]: mm hm

[Nick McGowan]: pens and stuff like that

[Nick McGowan]: but i i think in this sort of situation we can actually be more authentic we can

[Nick McGowan]: be real and we can talk about the stuff that actually matters to us and i

[Nick McGowan]: encourage anybody that’s got any sort of podcast or show or anything that they’re

[Nick McGowan]: doing to just jam on the things that matter to you

[Nick McGowan]: but do not try

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah well said

[Nick McGowan]: to be a fucking bullshit artist and do the things that don’t really matter to you

[Nick McGowan]: because we can see it you know i think it’s a matter of understanding what what

[Nick McGowan]: your lane is and what you want that to look like man i’m so excited that you’ve

[Nick McGowan]: actually found the lane that you’re rocking ro with outside of financial

[Nick McGowan]: and that this is a podcast that you think is actually benefiting people the fact

[Nick McGowan]: that you have some stress actually shows that you care about it because if you

[Nick McGowan]: didn’t and you were

[Brian Goldsack]: hey

[Nick McGowan]: like man i don’t really care you know we have conversation and yeah it is what

[Brian Goldsack]: interest

[Nick McGowan]: it is i would question that because you should actually care about what you put

[Nick McGowan]: out there just like any company should care about what they put out there content

[Nick McGowan]: product whatever that is you know but it’s gotta be real

[Brian Goldsack]: it’s gotta be real and in realness there’s vulnerability isn’t there Nick you

[Nick McGowan]: one hundred percent

[Brian Goldsack]: to be you to be really real to be really real in a public forum take some

[Nick McGowan]: oh yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: balls some um

[Brian Goldsack]: and

[Brian Goldsack]: you know you wonder if you have anything worth being said sometimes

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: but how are you know unless you say it

[Nick McGowan]: exactly and you wonder if people are gonna care or if they’re not going to care

[Nick McGowan]: and there are times where i hear things and i’m early in this game

[Nick McGowan]: not in the a game of coaching and talking with people but in the game of podcasts

[Nick McGowan]: we’re hear from different people that are like hey i listen to this and this made

[Nick McGowan]: me think of this thing and i don’t know if i ever told you this but i went through

[Nick McGowan]: this sort of situation like there’s stuff that’s happening

[Brian Goldsack]: wow

[Nick McGowan]: that’s within my warm you know close group of friends that listen and then people

[Nick McGowan]: that are even outside of that that are starting to be impacted where in some ways

[Nick McGowan]: i think how dare i not do this when there’s so much opportunity out there to be

[Nick McGowan]: able to help people and it helps me at the same time just like it sounds like it’s

[Nick McGowan]: doing for you you know if we think of the

[Nick McGowan]: conversations are they’re important to be had you know

[Brian Goldsack]: i agree

[Brian Goldsack]: i agree and it also kind of makes you like if you’re gonna be talking about self

[Brian Goldsack]: mastery

[Brian Goldsack]: to your point you want to make sure that you’re always on the cutting edge of what

[Brian Goldsack]: it actually means to master yourself

[Brian Goldsack]: so as a responsible show host you think to yourself i’m gonna be talking about

[Brian Goldsack]: this i need to study this i need to make this my craft

[Brian Goldsack]: and it’s gonna have a great effect on your life i always think about that with the

[Brian Goldsack]: success fundamentals i was like well now i have to be successful because i’m not

[Brian Goldsack]: gonna be like living under a boardwalk somewhere talking to people about how to be

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: successful and they’re gonna be like isn’t that the guy that lives on the report

[Brian Goldsack]: walk ra

[Nick McGowan]: he’s a successful troll yeah

[Brian Goldsack]: i’m not gonna listen that guy about pin

[Brian Goldsack]: exactly

[Brian Goldsack]: oh it’s um but yeah it it is it has been a great experience it has been great

[Brian Goldsack]: experience

[Nick McGowan]: yeah i think you’re right with that there’s a bit of responsibility where we have

[Nick McGowan]: to be on we have to be mindful of our stuff but i think that’s also maybe what led

[Nick McGowan]: us it sounds like there at least people i’ve had conversation with that there are

[Nick McGowan]: similarities to the paths of how we got to creating a show where we were like well

[Brian Goldsack]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: i felt like i needed to do something like this and i started to work on these

[Nick McGowan]: things and then i started to share them and there’s kind of that journey that you

[Nick McGowan]: go through in that sense and

[Nick McGowan]: i appreciate that we both have these uh these platforms to be able to talk about

[Nick McGowan]: things and you’ve been online i’m excited to be on yours i think we’re booked in

[Nick McGowan]: maybe a month month and a half something like that calendar’s just a little crazy

[Nick McGowan]: right now man i

[Brian Goldsack]: yeah i hear you

[Nick McGowan]: really appreciate you being on the show today if you had to give one piece of

[Nick McGowan]: advice to somebody that’s on their path towards self mastery what would you give

[Nick McGowan]: them

[Brian Goldsack]: you know i will go back to what we were saying earlier do you you have

[Brian Goldsack]: you have choices right you have choices about how you feel you have choices about

[Brian Goldsack]: the things you do

[Brian Goldsack]: since you have choices why don’t you pick the thing that makes you happy

[Brian Goldsack]: why not choose to be joyful

[Brian Goldsack]: so that would be my two cents you have choices make the choice to have a joyful

[Brian Goldsack]: happy life

[Nick McGowan]: beautiful so choose joy Brian appreciate being on the show today thank you very

[Nick McGowan]: much for your time

[Brian Goldsack]: hey it was a pleasure Nick thank you for having me