How The Transformative Years In A Communist Country Led To Major Life Breakthroughs – Ep.059 – Polish Peter Kolat

Episode summary:​  Polish Peter Kolat was growing up in Poland during the communist era. His family lived in a small room and they never had much money.

His parents divorced when he was 8 and his mom decided it was best if he & his sister say with their aunt and uncle in Poland, while she goes to America to work and hopefully make a better life for them.

When it was time for his mother to leave, Peter begged his mom not to go, but she had to do what she needed to, so she left for America.  

When Peter turned 14, his mom had earned enough money to be a house in the United States and now wanted her children to move back with her.

Peter had friends, school, and dance that he didn’t want to give up, but he had no choice. Now Peter is grateful that he is here because of all the opportunities that live here.

There are many times people, or Peter himself, could claim that he was a poor Polish kid, but Peter used these impactful moments to choose who he is and what he does.

Peter is on a mission to help other people become and live their best selves. 

Guest Name & Bio:  Peter Kolat, known as Polish Peter in the industry, is a transformational coach for Immigrant entrepreneurs and business owners. Because of his ability to speak into people’s lives and dive deep into what’s holding someone from being successful, he’s been referred to as the Polish Tony (ref: Tony Robbins) by his students.

Peter owns a successful national business development and coaching company, runs 2 transformational coaching masterminds & has worked with high 6 and 7-figure businesses in 16 different industries around the country.

His clients consistently return positive ROIs in their businesses.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

[Nick McGowan]: Hey Polish Peter welcome

to the show man how are you doing

[Polish Peter]: I’m doing great well thanks for having

me and i really appreciate you being here

[Polish Peter]: on this particular podcast with you man

[Nick McGowan]: yeah absolutely look I’m excited for you

to be here we connected i don’t know

[Nick McGowan]: a couple weeks ago a month ago

something like that through a friend who was

[Nick McGowan]: on i think one of the first

ten episodes that i done adrea smooth so

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: he was on and i know whoever

adrian puts me in contact with I’m in

[Nick McGowan]: for some weird fucking stories and great

conversation with great people so I’m glad that

[Nick McGowan]: you’re here but look man i got

to be on right off the bat just

[Nick McGowan]: saying to you welcome Polish Peter almost

just sound like i feel like in being

[Nick McGowan]: a dick head

[Polish Peter]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: and just calling you that so i

want to get that out of the way

[Nick McGowan]: first for the audience who are like

this guy is kind of a douche bag

[Nick McGowan]: me for calling you that but that’s

what people call you right like it’s

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: that’s kind of the Nickname industry wise

correct

[Polish Peter]: yeah that is the Nickname

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: that’s what i’ve been kind of known

for in the industry and the cameo of

[Polish Peter]: something that was in one of the

master minds that was came up with as

[Polish Peter]: you probably know i have an accent

you can

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: hear i have an accent originally from

poland

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: was born in poland in southern most

poland in like middle of mompins um lived

[Polish Peter]: in the first seven years in a

twelve by twelve room and the communes tera

[Polish Peter]: in poland so there was very small

kind of a in the hotel room kind

[Polish Peter]: the whole was our bedroom or living

room or kitchen et ter the side batooms

[Polish Peter]: were down the holway public restrooms can

think we everybody used so i came out

[Polish Peter]: of poland and so I’m pretty proud

of my polish heritage at the same time

[Polish Peter]: i am really grateful lucky and blessed

to be in particular country because i know

[Polish Peter]: where i came from and when i

get to do now in today’s world is

[Polish Peter]: help other people help impact their lives

too for the better men of themselves

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: you know because we all have stories

we all walk through

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: stories so the fact that I’m able

to do this

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: has helped me tremendously now the story

behind the polish piller is that think about

[Polish Peter]: every single one of us has some

kind of an identity that we’ve

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: created for ourselves

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: for

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: me it could have been this poor

polish kid from communist era and and kind

[Polish Peter]: of disempowering and things like that so

and it’s something that’s out of my control

[Polish Peter]: now what happened

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: out of this Polish Peter

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: thing is that while my first name

is peter Polish Peter

[Nick McGowan]: ye

[Polish Peter]: and there’s an identity tied into there

that is within me that i have control

[Polish Peter]: over the nobody can take way from

me and that includes being

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: empowering being transformative being persons intentional and

loving so actually each letter stands for something

[Polish Peter]: and that’s what i created for my

alban kind of became this name for around

[Polish Peter]: the industry and that’s how people refer

to me but the point I’m making is

[Polish Peter]: there is an identity that every single

one of us has

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: and each one of you the listener

i want you to create an identity for

[Polish Peter]: stuff that you have within your own

control that nobody can take away from you

[Nick McGowan]: yeah that’s a ton of ton of

layers to the one thing that somebody right

[Nick McGowan]: off the top if they just heard

me call you just Polish Peter like

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: probably asked why the fun did he

say that like

[Polish Peter]: now

[Nick McGowan]: that’s

[Polish Peter]: now that’s

[Nick McGowan]: the thing

[Polish Peter]: out

[Nick McGowan]: yeah yeah well o i also know

that it’s not just not somebody tying your

[Nick McGowan]: identity directly to you but also something

you’ve created and used an acronym to be

[Nick McGowan]: able to actually strengthen it a bit

because i think one things that we get

[Nick McGowan]: into on this show often without talking

directly about it is the

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: flavor that we bring to life and

that we see

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: through things the way that we see

life and interact with through the different lenses

[Nick McGowan]: that we have

[Polish Peter]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: the identities that we have i often

joke at times like I’m a little much

[Nick McGowan]: because i was born in philly that’s

just that’s the joke that’s not

[Polish Peter]: right

[Nick McGowan]: real that’s not

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: that not who i am but it’s

part of what some people believe me to

[Nick McGowan]: be so i’ll lean into those jokes

in certain ways and in those ways i

[Nick McGowan]: know we can buy into those identities

so it’s interesting how you not only bought

[Nick McGowan]: to it you’re like fun yeah this

is who i am and this is what

[Nick McGowan]: this actually means um so i appreciate

[Polish Peter]: ah

[Nick McGowan]: that you dive right right into that

in fact i always start these episodes off

[Nick McGowan]: with tell us what you do for

a living and you knocked that off so

[Nick McGowan]: thank you the next one is going

to be what’s that one thing that most

[Nick McGowan]: people don’t know about you that’s maybe

a little odd or bizarre i know you

[Nick McGowan]: got at least a couple of them

[Polish Peter]: well it’s depending on the reading of

the show but i want to put this

[Polish Peter]: out

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: there like this so when i was

a little back in poland from the part

[Polish Peter]: of the country that I’m at it’s

very traditional lot of you know we have

[Polish Peter]: our own traditions and things like that

so i used to be in this traditional

[Polish Peter]: dance group i played violin in there

and i danced like we travel across the

[Polish Peter]: country and start doing like international festivals

and things like that so a lot of

[Polish Peter]: people here in states don’t know that

i got moved and those

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Polish Peter]: moves were traditional

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Polish Peter]: back there but i mean if you

want to go look up on an internet

[Polish Peter]: word goral g o r a l

and then look at dancing for that you’ll

[Polish Peter]: see what i used to do yeah

[Nick McGowan]: nice oh man so you can cut

a rug or polish rug i guess in

[Nick McGowan]: that sense

[Polish Peter]: yeah that’s it

[Nick McGowan]: i appreciate that man i almost you

know as soon as somebody says anything like

[Nick McGowan]: that and it’s probably because I’m a

very visual person i start to picture the

[Nick McGowan]: person doing

[Polish Peter]: ye

[Nick McGowan]: those things and in some ways i

almost picture you like simpson’s character just kind

[Nick McGowan]: of like cruising along and dancing but

that sounds like an epic bit of a

[Nick McGowan]: story that you have where there are

some people i think growing up where they

[Nick McGowan]: want to play either music and they

get to travel around with their school whatever

[Nick McGowan]: and then there are some people that

play sports and they get to travel around

[Nick McGowan]: for sports is like

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: travel league and you know advanced and

all that sort of stuff some people don’t

[Nick McGowan]: ever get to experience that sort of

stuff i never experienced that really in grade

[Nick McGowan]: school but getting out of great school

toward as a musician and there’s a lot

[Nick McGowan]: of life that happens within that so

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: growing through that and i know that’s

probably a eons ago but when you look

[Nick McGowan]: back at it now how do you

think some of that shaped your life

[Polish Peter]: well i mean it gave me some

discipline because i mean there are some discomplinens

[Polish Peter]: behind it that you need to be

able to know i mean there’s a lot

[Polish Peter]: of

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: stuff that we did in the dancing

that requires physical i mean we did push

[Polish Peter]: ups we set up because allow of

the dancing involves that so there’s a discipline

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: there is the team work aspect it

because it you’re working with other people right

[Polish Peter]: the other aspect there was a part

of the dancing where it was just a

[Polish Peter]: couple and me as a man had

to lead so there was learning how to

[Polish Peter]: d or what other people how to

read and things like that if i look

[Polish Peter]: at

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: you can start looking how some of

those aspects would play into what you end

[Polish Peter]: up doing in life and it’s interesting

that part of my life this was between

[Polish Peter]: ages about eight and fourteen that i

was doing the dancing and now that i

[Polish Peter]: know what i know about human psychology

those are the years when you start to

[Polish Peter]: s and figure out your belief system

and you start looking what do i believe

[Polish Peter]: and what’s how do i start to

fit into life right

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: the arly ten r you start to

look at okay what do i fit in

[Polish Peter]: how do i fit into this whole

thing as we call life so a lot

[Polish Peter]: of that ends up shaping how you

start looking at life later on

[Nick McGowan]: that’s that’s why i brought that up

there’s a lot of life that happens within

[Nick McGowan]: that period of time and

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: for you to go through such a

process and be almost semi professional in that

[Nick McGowan]: sort of way it’s interesting instead of

kind of going the opposite side of it

[Nick McGowan]: so let’s kind of ty into what

you’re doing now because back then eight to

[Nick McGowan]: fourteen years old yes there was a

lot of stuff that happened but even the

[Nick McGowan]: next six years and ten years plus

from that point there’s a lot of stuff

[Nick McGowan]: that appen talk to us about the

journey getting from poland and of getting out

[Nick McGowan]: of that tiny as little place to

what you’re doing now and kind of some

[Nick McGowan]: of those key moments that happened along

the way you’re like this ship need to

[Nick McGowan]: happen this way to get me to

wear at now

[Polish Peter]: yeah that’s a great question because i

believe now that i know what i know

[Polish Peter]: because I’m I’m a transformative coach so

i hope people now learn with their personal

[Polish Peter]: life meaning their vision for their own

life or of their business how do we

[Polish Peter]: create this business to support that life

because most of the time all ends

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: up happening for people as they are

very clear what somewhat clear on what they

[Polish Peter]: want their business to look like what

they want to do in order to have

[Polish Peter]: this financial freedom but they’re not very

clear on what their financial freedom is and

[Polish Peter]: they end up

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: the business takes over their life so

that’s why i end up helping people because

[Polish Peter]: a lot of that journey is what

i went through and on the personal side

[Polish Peter]: i mean communism was not a fun

time for me as a kid and key

[Polish Peter]: moments happened for all of us so

when i talk about the key moments that

[Polish Peter]: happened in my life i want you

to listeners to start looking what are the

[Polish Peter]: key moments for you that you had

in your life that had some kind of

[Polish Peter]: an impact on you because those impact

ful moments is the moment we’re going to

[Polish Peter]: shape how you believe and how you

look at life because we tend to make

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: some kind of a choice some kind

of a decision during that particular time so

[Polish Peter]: i’ll give you an example one of

my times during my life when i was

[Polish Peter]: fourteen years old because it’s kind of

related to we just talked about my mom

[Polish Peter]: was already here in united states working

and you know making money because my parents

[Polish Peter]: got divorced when i was eight

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: so i was at that time between

eight and fourteen i was living with my

[Polish Peter]: and my uncle and my life was

pretty good at that particular time someone hit

[Polish Peter]: fourteen years old my mom comes to

united to poland from united states for vacation

[Polish Peter]: well about week and a half or

so before she was coming back here she

[Polish Peter]: sits me and my sister down and

she goes well guess what kids and we’re

[Polish Peter]: like what you’re going to night states

with me and I’m like no I’m bad

[Polish Peter]: she’s

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: like well yes you are because you

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: know i bought a house over there

i start

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: life over there and i want you

guys with me I’m like well i want

[Polish Peter]: to go my life is

[Nick McGowan]: a

[Polish Peter]: pretty good here so I’m fourteen your

kid trying to figure out how do i

[Polish Peter]: fit into this

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: life right to night that’s why the

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: group comes in that i was dancing

in and i have friends and all that

[Polish Peter]: kind of stuff and so for about

a week or so we kind of argue

[Polish Peter]: about me going or

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: not going I’m not going I’m going

I’m not going I’m not going next thing

[Polish Peter]: i know I’m on the plane

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: and the thing is i made a

decision now to make it kind of interpretation

[Polish Peter]: out of that that means that i

don’t have a choice i don’t have a

[Polish Peter]: voice i don’t have an

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: to say right especially this is my

mom one of the most important people in

[Polish Peter]: my life so if you

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: can look at that

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: because it was pretty impactful for me

i remember this moment like you know there

[Polish Peter]: was another moment for instance like when

i was eight years old my mom after

[Polish Peter]: they got divorced she had to go

to united states

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: to make money and i was going

to go live with my and my uncle

[Polish Peter]: well what happens then i go to

the airport i’ve realized at the air my

[Polish Peter]: idiookadimagine my ideo self standing at the

airport back then you can literally walk up

[Polish Peter]: to the gate where the planes were

at and

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: I’m literally begging my mom not to

go it’s my mom

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: you know i mean i finally

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: realized that like

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: hits me like tone bricks like this

is happening oh my god this is happening

[Polish Peter]: so

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: i go please don’t go she’s like

well i can’t i have to go I’m

[Polish Peter]: begging her again so please don’t go

please don’t go please don’t go next thing

[Polish Peter]: i know she turns around and you

know crying goes and gets on the plane

[Polish Peter]: and I’m crying and make a decision

again i say

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: well can convince my mom my mom

trying to convince her to stay she won’t

[Polish Peter]: stay so those are the types of

things that starts to shape our lives what

[Polish Peter]: later

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: on has had an impact on me

ironically my first business was in marketing gol

[Polish Peter]: figure when you kind of have

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: to i a in a way influence

others to

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: buy some kind of product or service

right so because we tend to work from

[Polish Peter]: a lot of those kind of decisions

back in life hope that makes any sense

[Polish Peter]: to you because i think

[Nick McGowan]: oh yeah

[Polish Peter]: that is what people are dealing with

in their lives like why i do

[Nick McGowan]: i agree

[Polish Peter]: what i do

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: i think you you drive it home

pretty well because you lived it you know

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: i often bring up many of these

episodes and a lot of conversations a lot

[Nick McGowan]: of the ship that has formed us

to who we are now really comes from

[Nick McGowan]: childhood specifically trauma

[Polish Peter]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: and something that happened and trauma doesn’t

always have to mean a really negative thing

[Polish Peter]: no

[Nick McGowan]: even taking your mom leaving yes that

was traumatic and in some ways some light

[Nick McGowan]: it’s negative but there’s also a lot

of positivity from that she was stepping she

[Nick McGowan]: was uncomfortable she was doing these things

that were selfless to be able to help

[Nick McGowan]: you and make a different change in

life and do a lot of that stuff

[Nick McGowan]: however you as an eight year old

kid see your mom leaving so it’s always

[Nick McGowan]: interesting to be able to look at

those different layers and levels to it and

[Nick McGowan]: especially going back to it and looking

at it almost like a wall flower or

[Nick McGowan]: just being a third party and just

going ship you know i can know nderstand

[Nick McGowan]: from both their perspectives and being able

to unpack that stuff i think there’s a

[Nick McGowan]: lot to it you know that’s one

of the key things where you talked about

[Nick McGowan]: eight and fourteen those are two major

moments or at least right

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: around you know six to eight twelve

to fourteen fifteen inch or so that a

[Nick McGowan]: lot of ship happens that sometimes we

just don’t go back through and process through

[Nick McGowan]: because as we get into our thirties

or forties or fifties there’s other ship right

[Nick McGowan]: you know other things come up

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: you’ve got your own kids or you’ve

got other things that you’ve got to go

[Nick McGowan]: through and kind of deal with let

alone the bull ship that happened fucking years

[Nick McGowan]: ago in the amon times i’ve heard

people say well that was years ago yeah

[Nick McGowan]: cool i get that but that ship

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: is still fucking with you right now

so when you think about and i kind

[Nick McGowan]: of know that you’ve done some of

this when you think of the stuff that

[Nick McGowan]: you’ve gone through and you look back

at it and process through that how did

[Nick McGowan]: you go back and process through it

without driving yourself mad

[Polish Peter]: i mean that’s a good point because

here’s the thing i do

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: this with my own students when we

go and look at mentioned about impact all

[Polish Peter]: moments and some of them

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: are dramatic some of em were talking

about impact

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: moments getting married is an impactful moment

it’s probably

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: for most people when they’re standing up

there and saying i do is a good

[Polish Peter]: really really really good thing right but

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: it is an impact moment we make

choice as we make decisions in life and

[Polish Peter]: their shape or we dosed

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: so when we go back to those

moments whether you know positive or negative being

[Polish Peter]: aware of them is super important because

when you’re aware of it and you know

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: that’s what decision you’ve made at that

particular moment that awareness alone can help you

[Polish Peter]: moving forward in life i’ll give you

an example when my oldest was eight years

[Polish Peter]: old this was back in two thousand

eleven my wife came to me one night

[Polish Peter]: and I’m not going

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: to go too much into the story

but she came to me and she said

[Polish Peter]: i want a divorce

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: it hit me like tone bricks i

mean it was complete shock out of the

[Polish Peter]: new work kind of a thing i

couldn’t believe it and i went into the

[Polish Peter]: same conversation that i did when my

mom m was living when she was eight

[Polish Peter]: and when she now came in when

i was fourteen and then she was talking

[Polish Peter]: about taking us back to united states

and ironically enough when my parents got divorced

[Polish Peter]: i was eight and when i got

divorced my eldest was coincidence maybe i don’t

[Polish Peter]: know but the problem is there’s

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: a pattern there so

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: being aware of that pattern is very

powerful because now you can recognize and see

[Polish Peter]: okay so what kind of a person

was shape that there’s some really good things

[Polish Peter]: about that because think about it this

way on those decisions that i’ve

[Nick McGowan]: by

[Polish Peter]: made has helped me tremendously at the

same time it can have some negative impacts

[Polish Peter]: on it so being aware of it

can tell you well next time probably begging

[Polish Peter]: is not going to work it’s

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: not a good thing but but up

to that point i wasn’t aware of it

[Polish Peter]: that was just

[Nick McGowan]: sure

[Polish Peter]: my goal to kind of a thing

right so

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: being aware of it has shaped me

tremendously to be able to go okay how

[Polish Peter]: do i go and how do i

level up do i need to

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: become to be able to be that

impact ful person that i need to be

[Polish Peter]: in relationships so now that awareness allowed

me to go and say who do i

[Polish Peter]: need to become as a person

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: rights a way of being as who

i need to be as a person obviously

[Polish Peter]: for me it had to be impactful

had to be focused had

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: to be intentional not you know the

begging kind of a person that makes sense

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: se

[Nick McGowan]: yeah isn’t an interesting how when you

have negative things that happen you tie something

[Nick McGowan]: to it there’s an anchor situation some

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: some problem or whatever that comes up

that’s huge and you can either grow or

[Nick McGowan]: you fall back from it and i

find it interesting how you see it as

[Nick McGowan]: a leveling up whatever works for you

you know there are certain people that agree

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: with that like i kind of look

at that too almost a linear thing like

[Nick McGowan]: you’re kind of growing other people choose

to look at it differently and that’s fine

[Nick McGowan]: however you want to look at it

it’s an evolution and a change but it’s

[Nick McGowan]: being aware of the ship that happened

where it’s almost and it’s almost kind of

[Nick McGowan]: silly because you think about it like

if you were to put your hand on

[Nick McGowan]: the stove and you go fuck that’s

pretty hot that really hurts i don’t want

[Nick McGowan]: to do it again and you keep

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: doing it

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: you could only do it a couple

o times you be like all right i’ve

[Nick McGowan]: learned like in fact

[Polish Peter]: let’s

[Nick McGowan]: most

[Polish Peter]: soon

[Nick McGowan]: of us have stopped that yeah well

that’s

[Polish Peter]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: what I’m saying even on that actual

scale most people have stopped doing that but

[Nick McGowan]: then there are other things in life

that we as people haven’t actually stopped doing

[Nick McGowan]: those things for

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: and i appreciate that you bring up

the awareness but many times that it’s about

[Nick McGowan]: the as if you’re not aware of

a problem how the funk can you do

[Nick McGowan]: anything about any of that problem if

you have

[Polish Peter]: right

[Nick McGowan]: no idea what to do with it

but then once you know a lot of

[Nick McGowan]: people get paralyzed and they start to

freak themselves out or over think that so

[Nick McGowan]: when you go through with your clients

and walk them through that like they’re there

[Nick McGowan]: at the press is of that thought

and

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: they’re about to lose their mind because

you and i both know they’re stepping into

[Nick McGowan]: the movie instead of watching the damn

thing how do you hold them back from

[Nick McGowan]: getting deep into it and watch the

movie and learn from it and be aware

[Nick McGowan]: of what’s actually going on

[Polish Peter]: well one of

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: the there was a few important conversation

that happened during the process one of the

[Polish Peter]: most important things that i when i

do this with my client as i say

[Polish Peter]: to them at the beginning listen i

am here for you and there’s no judgment

[Polish Peter]: here

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: there is no gossip there it’s a

safe place that we can have conversation and

[Polish Peter]: because i don’t think I’m any better

than anybody i may be Polish Peter and

[Polish Peter]: there was Polish Peter that’s it and

there’s somebody else has you know good things

[Polish Peter]: bad things we all are walking stories

so i

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: don’t believe that many better so who

am i to judge somebody on what they

[Polish Peter]: show they

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: shouldn’t do right i went through

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: a bunch of crap myself and

[Nick McGowan]: love

[Polish Peter]: that’s

[Nick McGowan]: that

[Polish Peter]: where I’m coming from so when there

is no judgment when people are being vulnerable

[Polish Peter]: I’m being open and they’re able to

kind of walk through that know that the

[Polish Peter]: people on the other side who are

listening are not judging them they’re there to

[Polish Peter]: help them and they know like they’ve

been there like a lot crazily enough a

[Polish Peter]: lot of the situations that my students

have gone through or going through i’ve been

[Polish Peter]: there myself now why that is

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Polish Peter]: i have no idea

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: but i’ve walked through a lot of

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: this stuff like for instance someways the

caholism i had impact with alcolism because my

[Polish Peter]: dad

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: was an alcoholic and i was living

with the most important person in my life

[Polish Peter]: colisham took his wife

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: um divorce i went through it myself

having no tough times where i almost living

[Polish Peter]: event river kind of a thing

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: i’ve been all those different places so

there is an empathy that comes from my

[Polish Peter]: place i try to always with my

students to

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: make sure that they recognize that but

i think keep going back to this judgment

[Polish Peter]: there is no judgment there is one

of the most impactful things that you can

[Polish Peter]: do with anybody in your life because

[Nick McGowan]: ah

[Polish Peter]: think about you kids or a spouse

or significant other and they’re not telling you

[Polish Peter]: something you feel they’re not telling you

something like something is going on won’t you

[Polish Peter]: consider something they feel judged by you

that’s why they’re not telling you so there

[Polish Peter]: is no judgment

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: it might be a really good thing

to be able to put that in conversations

[Polish Peter]: with people in your life and see

what they end up telling you because we

[Polish Peter]: all have stories and we all have

something going on

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: yeah the judgment free zone is definitely

a beautiful zone to be in and i

[Nick McGowan]: know some people will look at kind

of the circles have my immediate circle have

[Nick McGowan]: the next level circle et cetera like

that you kind of work through and that

[Nick McGowan]: you allow to be open with really

really enjoy the people and i enjoyed the

[Nick McGowan]: conversation we’re having now and what we’ve

had before because i enjoyed the people that

[Nick McGowan]: are genuinely open with that like when

they ask

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: hey how are you they actually give

a ship they’re asking because you genuinely care

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: instead of just hey there’s another human

i should probably ask them a thing because

[Nick McGowan]: it is a social thing to do

not typically how most people want to operate

[Nick McGowan]: but a lot of people will operate

that way because the ship internally and i

[Nick McGowan]: think some of that also comes from

the judgment that we have on our own

[Nick McGowan]: selves when you think

[Polish Peter]: right

[Nick McGowan]: of time is where you’re fucking pis

you have a terrible day or ship’s gone

[Nick McGowan]: weird or whatever you take it out

on somebody that you’re talking to or working

[Nick McGowan]: with in all reality you don’t mean

it you I’m sure polish paper you can

[Nick McGowan]: catch it at times but I’m sure

there are other times

[Polish Peter]: yeah i

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Polish Peter]: can

[Nick McGowan]: have

[Polish Peter]: see

[Nick McGowan]: to

[Polish Peter]: it

[Nick McGowan]: it happens a week later you’re like

funk was such an asshole I’m so sorry

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: but being aware of those things and

the judgments that happened from it are huge

[Nick McGowan]: now the judgment for one i think

should expand outside of that initial zone that

[Nick McGowan]: we have the same time

[Polish Peter]: ah let me

[Nick McGowan]: we

[Polish Peter]: add something to

[Nick McGowan]: have

[Polish Peter]: the

[Nick McGowan]: a hard

[Polish Peter]: pecos

[Nick McGowan]: time

[Polish Peter]: let me add something

[Nick McGowan]: go for

[Polish Peter]: i

[Nick McGowan]: it

[Polish Peter]: think this is important to mention

[Nick McGowan]: to

[Polish Peter]: when there is a judgment what ends

up happenings people tend to operate

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: from the place of fake book that

makes any sense

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: right you go on

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: facebook you see how low people are

sharing some you know triumphs they share like

[Polish Peter]: lambrginis kind of a thing as opposed

to what’s really

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: going on because there

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: is a whole judgment going on over

there right and well that’s up happening when

[Polish Peter]: people are operating from that place they

try to fix and change themselves from that

[Polish Peter]: place so in a way they are

changing or fixing something that is not real

[Polish Peter]: that’s not authentic to them now when

there is no judgment and you can get

[Polish Peter]: real with yourself you can get to

the authentic self right here in your heart

[Polish Peter]: who are you yourself authentically guess what

you don’t have to change anything because

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: there is no nothing broken about you

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Polish Peter]: and i truly believe that whatever single

person i have conversation with i don’t think

[Polish Peter]: there is anything wrong with anybody there’s

anything to

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: fix there anything broken about you is

just what a happening is over their years

[Polish Peter]: all the different things that happened for

you like those things that happened when i

[Polish Peter]: was age when i was fourteen when

i was twenty seven years old when i

[Polish Peter]: was in my thirties with divorce and

all that kind of stuff all the scrap

[Polish Peter]: that got piled on top of us

and we’ve been carrying it for it over

[Polish Peter]: the years now when we start

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: having those kinds of conversation when the

no judgment you start letting go some of

[Polish Peter]: those things putting them down not have

to carry them around guess what you become

[Polish Peter]: your authentic self become a lot more

free and you can actually

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Polish Peter]: operate

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: in life and go after life as

a true authentic person who you meant to

[Polish Peter]: be

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: and then guess what stuff starts to

happen in your life you start up or

[Polish Peter]: you start taking action because you’re not

doing some fake book stuff you’re being the

[Polish Peter]: real authentic self star

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: does that make sense

[Nick McGowan]: oh man totally and i think for

the audience to understand that there’s here’s a

[Nick McGowan]: time in a place to be able

to bitch and complain about things or complain

[Nick McGowan]: about things and

[Polish Peter]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: talk about the real stuff that hurts

and there’s a way to be able to

[Nick McGowan]: do it properly and i know it’s

sir for people to talk about the lambarginis

[Nick McGowan]: and the big winds that they get

all the trips and all that stuff but

[Nick McGowan]: they will talk about either the hard

work or the sacrifice and the ship they’ve

[Nick McGowan]: gone through so even just ting off

a fake book people having conversations with people

[Nick McGowan]: that are part of their circles or

people that

[Polish Peter]: yep

[Nick McGowan]: are professionals that they can have conversations

with overall just being open and vulnerable is

[Nick McGowan]: a key aspect of being able to

understand when you talk about authenticity and being

[Nick McGowan]: the authentic ou and doing those things

i find it interesting because i think a

[Nick McGowan]: lot of people will look at what

i need to be that person like i

[Nick McGowan]: need to be that person to be

these things where and if you flip that

[Nick McGowan]: and you be those things you’ll be

that person it’s just a matter of showing

[Nick McGowan]: what you actually care about doing the

things that you care about and more of

[Nick McGowan]: that will come to you where it’s

funny we’re typically taught the opposite of that

[Nick McGowan]: go

[Polish Peter]: yep

[Nick McGowan]: after that thing go be that thing

instead of just being it um

[Polish Peter]: we already

[Nick McGowan]: so

[Polish Peter]: are

[Nick McGowan]: yeah exactly

[Polish Peter]: you really

[Nick McGowan]: i was

[Polish Peter]: think

[Nick McGowan]: just going

[Polish Peter]: about

[Nick McGowan]: to say do you want to unpack

that a bit more m so with that

[Nick McGowan]: do you have anything else you’d like

to add

[Polish Peter]: no i mean just saying that because

think about it if you become your authentic

[Polish Peter]: self you already are that particular person

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: and it’s just all the crap that’s

been covered until you’re trying to do it

[Polish Peter]: through it it’s almost like operating in

a fog if you just put all the

[Polish Peter]: stuff

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: down the park can dissipate

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: and you can actually be clear on

what you want you like to look like

[Polish Peter]: what you want to do in business

in life

[Nick McGowan]: well you’ve brought up eight years old

fourteen years old when we think of those

[Nick McGowan]: times especially as an eight year old

most people as eight year old kids are

[Nick McGowan]: so open and inquisitive and wandering about

life like

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: what is this thing i want to

play out this side or i want to

[Nick McGowan]: try this thing or try that or

do whatever it’s as we get older we

[Nick McGowan]: start to get calised over that because

people tell us no where people start to

[Nick McGowan]: heap their own fucking ship of fears

on us and be like oh i can’t

[Nick McGowan]: do it so you can’t kid either

fuck those adults that said that sort of

[Nick McGowan]: stuff they were just afraid

[Polish Peter]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: so being able to shape ourselves wasn’t

able to happen for everybody so i think

[Nick McGowan]: something that we’ve kind of talked about

a bit on this so far without really

[Nick McGowan]: getting directly to it was actually going

back and working with that child yourself

[Polish Peter]: m

[Nick McGowan]: have you gone back Polish Peter and

sat eight year old you been like this

[Nick McGowan]: is tough i

[Polish Peter]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: fucking

[Polish Peter]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: get it but

[Polish Peter]: trust

[Nick McGowan]: we’re gonna

[Polish Peter]: me

[Nick McGowan]: be good

[Polish Peter]: because I’m an several master months and

i was lucky in ough to be in

[Polish Peter]: a master mind where there is that

open space no judgment vulnerability right

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: and that’s what i do right now

with all my students we have master minds

[Polish Peter]: three times a year to be able

to have that kind of conversation and when

[Polish Peter]: you sit down with your eight year

old self kind of thing you get real

[Polish Peter]: with it and it was a low

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: ter share on my you know cried

i like a blow baby i’ve had

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: some you know really tough conversations because

you know someone in the room tells you

[Polish Peter]: listen stop being a people pleaser and

i like what you talking about people please

[Polish Peter]: I’m not people please and then you

start looking and start really diving into what

[Polish Peter]: it is like holy crap i am

a people

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: please and holy crap that did cost

me my merit and holy crap i wonder

[Polish Peter]: why my business hasn’t been operating that

why i wanted to operate because I’m saying

[Polish Peter]: yes to everything and everybody and holy

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: crap people please alas kind of got

squirrels all over

[Nick McGowan]: a

[Polish Peter]: the place because I’m saying yes to

this this this this this now what would

[Polish Peter]: you know

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: when you start getting real with yourself

and that was just me different people have

[Polish Peter]: different reality right some people need to

one of my students for instance he to

[Polish Peter]: the outside world comes in

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: as an a hole an as hole

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: and the kind of guy that will

go and tell you like it as kind

[Polish Peter]: of a thing now if you really

dig down deep that’s not the person who

[Polish Peter]: really is he wants to protect

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Polish Peter]: protect his family protect himself his wife

he wants to he is a big kind

[Polish Peter]: of a really good good guy when

you start working you know in that regard

[Polish Peter]: that real true self all of a

sudden that person starts to emerge and starts

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: to go and take different actions

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Polish Peter]: and now life starts to be a

lot more fun you know than people i

[Polish Peter]: keep going back to that we’re all

walking

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: stories don’t judge the story don’t judge

the book by the cover because you don’t

[Polish Peter]: know what’s underneath it

[Nick McGowan]: ah well thank you for answering the

next question which is going to be what

[Nick McGowan]: sort of advice would you give somebody

on their path towards self mastery but

[Polish Peter]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: that sounds like that was it

[Polish Peter]: yeah i mean and be you just

be open to being open with yourself i

[Polish Peter]: mean and the other aspect is one

of my goals that i have with all

[Polish Peter]: my students is getting to the point

where you can the lack of a better

[Polish Peter]: word love yourself ere’s lot

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: of us think about the conversation that’s

going on in your head that conversation that’s

[Polish Peter]: going on and you can be your

best friend or you can be your worst

[Polish Peter]: nightmare our biggest

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: critic or you know kind of biggest

bully so my goal is to get you

[Polish Peter]: to have become your best friend kind

of a thing your biggest

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Polish Peter]: fan your raving fan because when that

comes to that point and you love yourself

[Polish Peter]: for the who you want and who

are not and I’m not perfect we’re all

[Polish Peter]: not perfect but we’re perfect in being

imperfect when you get to that

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Polish Peter]: point all of a sudden you have

the freedom to actually take action in life

[Polish Peter]: and doing things so advices you know

stop judging yourself so much and started you

[Polish Peter]: know being more gentle than yourself give

yourself some grace we don’t typically give ourselves

[Polish Peter]: sucgress because the deep down inside work

can be our biggest critics

[Nick McGowan]: m great points man it’s been a

pleasure to have you on it’s always great

[Nick McGowan]: to chat with you i look forward

to the next time we get to talk

[Nick McGowan]: again too but to share with us

where people can find you and where they

[Nick McGowan]: can connect with you

[Polish Peter]: well first and foremost i appreciate your

having me on people can find me on

[Polish Peter]: facebook can find me on instagram just

typing Polish Peter you’re going to find that

[Polish Peter]: instagraan Polish Peter official is handle on

facebookyoucan just up in Polish Peter we find

[Polish Peter]: me under and if you want to

have a conversation with me i have a

[Polish Peter]: slap at four until on thursdays at

one p m eastern i have a slate

[Polish Peter]: that i typically open if you want

to have a conversation with me like this

[Polish Peter]: free session you know no obligation nothing

just having maybe and help you in some

[Polish Peter]: shape or form um head over to

one conversation way dot com one number one

[Polish Peter]: conversation way dot com and just follow

the short form so i know what you

[Polish Peter]: want to look for you’re looking to

get on jump on a short call and

[Polish Peter]: maybe i can help you in some

way

[Nick McGowan]: absolutely man that’s awesome and i highly

encourage that you jump on a phone call

[Nick McGowan]: with him even just fifteen-twenty minutes

chat things will open up so again polish

[Nick McGowan]: peter always a pleasure man thank you

for your time