Check Your Friends And Take Accountability For Your Own Actions – Ep.036 – Lia Bliss

Episode summary:​ Lia was just like many people, struggling with money, bad relationships, single mother, and more. She had to make a change, but how?

When Lia’s friends were changing what they were doing, she had a moment of self-reflection, which caused her to ask herself different questions about her own life, the choices she had made, and the choices she can make.

It all started with taking accountability for her own actions, changing her mindset, and setting little goals. 

Guest Name & Bio: In the ever-changing economic and social media-driven world, Lia enables sales leaders and their teams to become masters of their online presence and mindset.

She is an engaging speaker with deep subject expertise in LinkedIn algorithms, social selling, and the day-to-day habits it takes to build engagement. Lia is also a mindset coach whose mission is to empower everyone to live their best “Bliss Life”.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

[Nick McGowan]: hey LIa welcome to the show. How are you doing?

[Lia Bliss]: good god how are you doing?

[Nick McGowan]: i’m great i’m glad you’re here i’m

glad you’re on the show i know we’re

[Nick McGowan]: shooing ship a little bit before we

hit record and i’m sure there’s gonna

[Lia Bliss]: uh

[Nick McGowan]: be a lot of stuff that we’re going to get into

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: so let’s get the party started

[Lia Bliss]: let’s do it

[Nick McGowan]: so why don’t you what you do

for living and one thing that most people

[Nick McGowan]: don’t know about you

[Lia Bliss]: sure so lea bliss write a lot

of people tell me how great

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: my last name is so now i

work for a company called bliss point which

[Lia Bliss]: makes i mean you can’t not use

the last name so i worked for company

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: and i hit this very fun intersection

of like mind set mastery when it comes

[Lia Bliss]: to sales technology s online so i

teach

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: sales people how to use linked on

[Nick McGowan]: beautiful

[Lia Bliss]: so that is ah i know it

sounds boring but i get really nervy about

[Lia Bliss]: it and then one thing people don’t

know about me it’s always a shock to

[Lia Bliss]: my friends

[Nick McGowan]: it

[Lia Bliss]: when they find out that i studied

opera performance in college

[Nick McGowan]: k

[Lia Bliss]: it’s shocking to most people

[Nick McGowan]: yeah and i barely know you so

why don’t you go ahead and in just

[Nick McGowan]: share

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: how did you get into that why

did you get out of it are you

[Nick McGowan]: an opera singer so many questions

[Lia Bliss]: so many things um no so

[Nick McGowan]: ye

[Lia Bliss]: i grew up in a really small

town in utah and there was nothing else

[Lia Bliss]: to do and my mom was like

hey you’re pretty good singer like you sing

[Lia Bliss]: in quire we should get you opera

lessons and i was like okay and then

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i just was

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: really good at it and i was

really the kind of person back then who

[Lia Bliss]: didn’t know how to set goals and

didn’t have really good goals i spent

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: probably way too much of my life

just like floating and that

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: was kind of a direction

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: that worked out went to university for

it i had absolutely no like self sense

[Lia Bliss]: of like self preservation in college so

i immediately just stopped going

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: to class becase i was like who

i can do whatever i want

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Lia Bliss]: and so yeah so i obviously dropped

out of college pretty quick but the time

[Lia Bliss]: that i was there i was studying

opera so that was fun

[Nick McGowan]: so were you actually studying or was

it more or less figuring out how to

[Nick McGowan]: make new drinks with plastic bottled alcohol

[Lia Bliss]: you know

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: less of that i didn’t really start

drinking heavily until after i had my kid

[Lia Bliss]: which was like twenty five so

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i didn’t start parting

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: that way until we pass so ye

twenty five so no it was more of

[Lia Bliss]: like

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: i grew up really

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: really really sheltered we weren’t allowed you

know

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: crazy curfuse super strict address code so

it was more just about the boys i

[Lia Bliss]: just got to

[Nick McGowan]: gotcha

[Lia Bliss]: be out of the house and kind

of i was like oh

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: this is going to be fun

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: and then never went to class again

[Nick McGowan]: fair enough and you’ve said you have

a kid so

[Lia Bliss]: i have a kid weird weird that

like

[Nick McGowan]: you got a gift at all

[Lia Bliss]: being

[Nick McGowan]: that

[Lia Bliss]: a sexual

[Nick McGowan]: my

[Lia Bliss]: devient for so many years

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: causes you to get knocked up at

least once

[Nick McGowan]: yeah yeah i guess that’s how that

works you know

[Lia Bliss]: i think it’s the

[Nick McGowan]: um

[Lia Bliss]: low statistics

[Nick McGowan]: yeah exactly

[Lia Bliss]: uh

[Nick McGowan]: well so being being in

[Lia Bliss]: h

[Nick McGowan]: school to go go into opera

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: or anything of the sort kind of

seems like a side note to your just

[Nick McGowan]: floating through life where

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: i think a lot of people early

on in life just kind of float through

[Nick McGowan]: the re those kids that are in

school that are like you know what when

[Nick McGowan]: i grow up to be this thing

and i’m going to do this nd then

[Nick McGowan]: they’re the ones that like i’m going

to play football for the rest of my

[Nick McGowan]: life and

[Lia Bliss]: oh my

[Nick McGowan]: that’s

[Lia Bliss]: god

[Nick McGowan]: all they do

[Lia Bliss]: i fucking dated

[Nick McGowan]: or

[Lia Bliss]: that

[Nick McGowan]: the people

[Lia Bliss]: dude

[Nick McGowan]: that are

[Lia Bliss]: now

[Nick McGowan]: like or the people that are like

well my parents are docked

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: or my parents do this thing and

i’m going to go do that same thing

[Lia Bliss]: yes and i was the

[Nick McGowan]: there are

[Lia Bliss]: opposite

[Nick McGowan]: still those people that don’t know what

the fun to do because they’re like

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: later on in life where they go

oh shit i spend all this money to

[Nick McGowan]: go to college to become a doctor

and i don’t want to do it

[Lia Bliss]: and i hate being

[Nick McGowan]: and then there’s

[Lia Bliss]: a doctor

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: and they spent all that time

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but then

[Lia Bliss]: i think i think there’s two camps

there i think on the one hand

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: you’ve got people that are like funk

the system i don’t need to choose and

[Lia Bliss]: they’re just kind of like a rebel

without a cause kind of thing

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: and then on the other hand

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: you’ve got the super pleasers that are

like well i know that i need to

[Lia Bliss]: go to college than i need to

do this and they have this like lifetime

[Lia Bliss]: check list that was written by someone

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: else that they just like incredibly motivated

to fill out so i was definitely in

[Lia Bliss]: the first half of those people without

a cause

[Nick McGowan]: yeah well when you look back at

that and you can see the two different

[Nick McGowan]: camps i think we can also see

why we do that because we’re looking for

[Nick McGowan]: that sense of meaning

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: we’re looking for something and even the

people because i was of that same camp

[Nick McGowan]: when i was younger where i was

like fucking fuck

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: you people funk that guy fun that

person

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: fun these people

[Lia Bliss]: you’re all right

[Nick McGowan]: because

[Lia Bliss]: fuck

[Nick McGowan]: i was

[Lia Bliss]: you

[Nick McGowan]: hurt yeah fuck you i’m out i

got to it a deal i mean there

[Nick McGowan]: were

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: there ere pieces of it like school

that mattered because

[Lia Bliss]: ah

[Nick McGowan]: i mattered to those situations and those

things like art music et cetera

[Lia Bliss]: right

[Nick McGowan]: but for the most part i think

a lot of kids and even people that

[Nick McGowan]: are in their twenties that are still

trying to figure out the fun they want

[Nick McGowan]: to do i’ve got friends in their

thirties and late there so like i don’t

[Nick McGowan]: know what i want to be when

i grow up

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: and

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: some of them are super successful where

they’re still trying to figure it out so

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: how are you managing your mind set

now thinking that all that stuff that you

[Nick McGowan]: went through and not fucking dragging yourself

back and go man i was aimless for

[Nick McGowan]: years like how do you manage

[Lia Bliss]: m

[Nick McGowan]: your mindset right now

[Lia Bliss]: yeah that’s rough because i often

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: think back because now like i have

a kid

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i have a job and even if

we were wind like five years ago i

[Lia Bliss]: was like working two jobs moon lighting

at a strip club as a waitress like

[Lia Bliss]: had a kid all these things and

in that moment when i was just like

[Lia Bliss]: in the grind i would think

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: back to before i had kids before

i had to do all this i was

[Lia Bliss]: like what the fuck did i do

all the time

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: and you can’t

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: help but yeah get

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: into this

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: mind set of being like wow i

squandered my i have wasted all my time

[Lia Bliss]: but i think the biggest thing that

helped me was the sense of like well

[Lia Bliss]: everything is your fault for one like

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: and once you can kind

[Nick McGowan]: powerful

[Lia Bliss]: of get around that like radical honesty

and just a sense of like ownership okay

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: everything

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: in my life i made a choice

to right you think about that movie it’s

[Lia Bliss]: a wonderful life right george

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: bailey and it’s like oh cool every

decision that you made brought you to this

[Lia Bliss]: point you didn’t just wake up one

day and oops i tripped and fell into

[Lia Bliss]: this terrible lifestyle

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: poor me it’s like oh man i’ve

made every decision up into this point but

[Lia Bliss]: if you can take radical accountability or

those choices and get really really honest with

[Lia Bliss]: yourself you can say yeah i made

these choices but now i have the option

[Lia Bliss]: to make a different choice and in

the same

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: way that i’ve put myself in this

place i can make a series of decisions

[Lia Bliss]: small daily decisions get myself to a

different place

[Nick McGowan]: think of this isinctawareness that you just

put out there and that makes total fucking

[Nick McGowan]: sense like you and i are on

the same page with that but for somebody

[Nick McGowan]: in that shitty spot to go hold

up a second maybe

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: if i become aware of my problems

do something different with it and then i

[Nick McGowan]: incrementally focus on these things it

[Lia Bliss]: he

[Nick McGowan]: can change things that’s a fucking ton

to ask somebody that’s in that situation

[Lia Bliss]: yes yes it is because yeh it’s

like what’s the phrase boil the ocean you’re

[Lia Bliss]: like how am i supposed

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: to do that

[Nick McGowan]: yeah it’s too big and daunting it

feels

[Lia Bliss]: yes it is daunting but but i

also think that we actually can’t see that

[Lia Bliss]: far ahead like you can only

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Lia Bliss]: see about the next three years of

your life in your imagination and so like

[Lia Bliss]: you’re not going to take yourself

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: from whatever ship hole you’re in now

to you know climbing everest or you know

[Lia Bliss]: living

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: in the middle east with bagilionairs pool

side and tigers on a gold leash right

[Lia Bliss]: all that bullshit

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: that’s a three

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: year jump that’s like maybe a ten

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: year jump but you can’t

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: you’re limited by your scope of the

imagination and so all you have to do

[Lia Bliss]: is imagine yourself like one per cent

better and then

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: make the incremental changes to get there

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: because and then what’s one per cent

better than that okay cool maybe if i

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: don’t go

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: negative on my bank account this month

like there’s a win cool

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: if i don’t have to pay any

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: overdraft fees this month i remember that

was my reality

[Nick McGowan]: man yeah how many times you get

hit you’re like another thirty five fucking dollars

[Nick McGowan]: like i have

[Lia Bliss]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: no

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: money stop taking

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: money give

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: me money

[Lia Bliss]: perpetuating the issue

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: i remember when i was working at

the bar i i don’t even know why

[Lia Bliss]: i had to borrow a thousand dollars

from my ten years younger sister which talk

[Lia Bliss]: about a

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: hit to the ego like

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: hey i can’t pay my bills lusus

can you help a girl out and then

[Lia Bliss]: i had to pay that back in

a certain a lot of time and

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: just literally every

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: day like counting my ones like and

then stashing them in a drawer like some

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: sort of weird dealer and then

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Lia Bliss]: counting every

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: day like okay can i get to

a thousand dollars can i get to a

[Lia Bliss]: thousand dollars how am i going to

get there it’s like well one one dollar

[Lia Bliss]: at a time is

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: how you get there

[Nick McGowan]: just like one step at a time

just

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: like one per cent at a time

that’s

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: a difficult pill for people to swallow

especially when they’re in that feeling that i

[Nick McGowan]: think you and i both experience and

i’m sure many many listeners that experience the

[Nick McGowan]: same ship where they’re like man i

squandered time i squandered

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: life i squandered this whole period of

time in a relationship where this whole period

[Nick McGowan]: of time in a

[Lia Bliss]: m

[Nick McGowan]: business this

[Lia Bliss]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: whole

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: period of time throughout fucking school or

college or whatever i think for the

[Lia Bliss]: ah

[Nick McGowan]: most part we want to just beat

ourselves up a little bit about that because

[Nick McGowan]: we don’t

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: know what the actual meaning was we

were not sure

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: what that lesson was from it because

when you look back and you see the

[Nick McGowan]: lesson you o man if i hadn’t

gone through that

[Lia Bliss]: to yeah there’s

[Nick McGowan]: probably

[Lia Bliss]: no way

[Nick McGowan]: in

[Lia Bliss]: i’d

[Nick McGowan]: a worse

[Lia Bliss]: be here

[Nick McGowan]: spot yeah

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: so is there a moment when you

can look back and go geese that was

[Nick McGowan]: one of those moments that really change

me and i kind of pivoted

[Lia Bliss]: if you ask my dad who

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: i work with he says that it’s

that it’s like this weird intangible moment he

[Lia Bliss]: could tell you the like day of

demarcation that i turn around and make my

[Lia Bliss]: life different i have no memory of

this time i don’t know what happened but

[Nick McGowan]: right let’s get your dad

[Lia Bliss]: i

[Nick McGowan]: where’s

[Lia Bliss]: think

[Nick McGowan]: he kid

[Lia Bliss]: i know god where is he but

[Nick McGowan]: pop

[Lia Bliss]: honestly

[Nick McGowan]: come on in

[Lia Bliss]: when i started making changes

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Lia Bliss]: was when so i went to her

school because i got married super young and

[Lia Bliss]: it was real terrible and i was

like i don’t have any skills i don’t

[Lia Bliss]: have anything going for me and go

to hair school so i was like twenty

[Lia Bliss]: in hair school right that kid and

a girl friend of mine who

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: i went to her school with she

ended up doing hair for a long time

[Lia Bliss]: and then one day i’m getting my

hair down she’s like i’m going to go

[Lia Bliss]: back to school and become a computer

probe mer and i was like that’s a

[Lia Bliss]: terrible idea why in god’s name would

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: you do that that sounds awful jesus

is like and who’s going to do my

[Lia Bliss]: hair i hate you but

[Nick McGowan]: right

[Lia Bliss]: it got me thinking because she had

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: just gone through divorce so

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: maybe it wasn’t even my low moment

it was like reflective of somebody else she

[Lia Bliss]: had just gotten divorced she was changing

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: careers because she wanted to have something

long term right for a one a retirement

[Lia Bliss]: benefits packages all these things and then

it caused me to pause and look around

[Lia Bliss]: and be like yea what am i

doing for the rest of my life how

[Lia Bliss]: am i going to retire how am

i going to keep like i can’t keep

[Lia Bliss]: living this way and i saw

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: myself in twenty thirty years still wishing

and hoping that i don’t negative in my

[Lia Bliss]: bank account

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: and thinking how awful that was going

to feel and then decided okay let’s let’s

[Lia Bliss]: do something else and then just and

it was not an overnight thing it probably

[Lia Bliss]: took me two or three more years

before i got to point

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: where i am now

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: but this like i don’t know ex

essential crisis this haunting future self my future

[Lia Bliss]: self right ghost of christmas future came

to haunt me and was like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: this is how you’re going to end

up it’s going to suck

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: it sucks now and nothing is going

to change

[Nick McGowan]: oh i i wish i could say

that everybody that has that thought act on

[Nick McGowan]: it and that they do something

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: with it i don’t think that’s fucking

true i mean

[Lia Bliss]: no

[Nick McGowan]: the diner lady keeps coming into mind

and anybody

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: that listens to this if you work

in a diner

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: love you but this

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: this isn’t for you specific it’s that

lady that has been there for fifty plus

[Nick McGowan]: years

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: and just

[Lia Bliss]: this

[Nick McGowan]: bitches and complaints about the same thing

[Lia Bliss]: all

[Nick McGowan]: over

[Lia Bliss]: day long

[Nick McGowan]: and over

[Lia Bliss]: every day yeah

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: well i always said you can’t complain

[Nick McGowan]: yes

[Lia Bliss]: about things you do to yourself

[Nick McGowan]: ah

[Lia Bliss]: if nothing else take that you can’t

complain about

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: things you do to yourself

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: full stop

[Nick McGowan]: so ninety percent of complaints just cease

to exist at that

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: point

[Lia Bliss]: yes everything is your fault

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: and you can’t complain about it

[Nick McGowan]: that’s an interesting point about everything is

your fault because you said that a couple

[Nick McGowan]: of times now

[Lia Bliss]: h

[Nick McGowan]: so i run a men’s

[Lia Bliss]: m

[Nick McGowan]: group on facebook er’s like

[Lia Bliss]: cool

[Nick McGowan]: fifteen thousand men so i always expect

to get crazy fucking answers from some of

[Nick McGowan]: these people when i post a question

[Lia Bliss]: excellent

[Nick McGowan]: and one of the questions i posted

recently was do you feel that things happened

[Nick McGowan]: to us or for us i got

a wild amount of answers but what do

[Nick McGowan]: you think you think things happened to

or for us

[Lia Bliss]: i think for

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i am one of those people that

think that

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: the universe is always conspiring in my

favor and maybe i was born with like

[Lia Bliss]: an elevated

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: or

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: super hero level

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Lia Bliss]: of self importance but i think

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: like i want

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i operate

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: through the world that way like i

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: am the main character i am the

star everything is happening for me but it’s

[Lia Bliss]: that’s such an interesting idea because the

people who think and this is the church

[Lia Bliss]: of la speaking the people

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: who think that life happens to us

are people who are complacent and people who

[Lia Bliss]: think

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: life happens for s are people who

are curious and as soon as you can

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: get curious

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: and ask yourself why did that happen

to

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: me but what

[Nick McGowan]: ye

[Lia Bliss]: about this is about to benefit me

even if it’s something

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: terrible where’s

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: the adventure in this go find out

like

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: if you’re in a choose your own

adventure story

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: figure out

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: why this weird plot twist happened and

how that’s

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: going to push your character development and

the story line forward

[Nick McGowan]: oh man so think people it’s an

r p g that’s what this is

[Lia Bliss]: i mean

[Nick McGowan]: it’s all

[Lia Bliss]: what

[Nick McGowan]: this

[Lia Bliss]: else

[Nick McGowan]: is

[Lia Bliss]: is it what

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: else is it

[Nick McGowan]: great point we sometimes get lost in

just day to day and get caught

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: up in the bull ship and bit

can play and all of that because the

[Nick McGowan]: people around us and those things but

if we pull out from that and look

[Nick McGowan]: then

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: it really is a mind set shift

of you’re right those people at are complacent

[Nick McGowan]: where they go and now this thing

happens to me and that’s a whole like

[Nick McGowan]: appointed kind of aspect

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: where something happens for you you get

to be able to take that you’re actually

[Nick McGowan]: the second person that is brought the

church of yourself

[Lia Bliss]: the church of

[Nick McGowan]: over

[Lia Bliss]: myself

[Nick McGowan]: the first thirty episode so far

[Lia Bliss]: wow

[Nick McGowan]: so i appreciate that you brought that

up because i think it’s an interesting point

[Nick McGowan]: that we are all own focal

point

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: and sometimes we forget that there are

some people that are a complete narcisist that

[Nick McGowan]: never

[Lia Bliss]: sure

[Nick McGowan]: forget that

[Lia Bliss]: yeah i hate those people

[Nick McGowan]: and there’s a balance you know

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: there’s a balance here you got a

kind of love on other people and all

[Nick McGowan]: but you need to kind of love

on yourself too so when you saw that

[Nick McGowan]: what sort of future version of you

come in from somebody else’s story that’s a

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: beautiful thing because a lot of people

have a hard time actually taking somebody’s story

[Nick McGowan]: where they go now i got to

figure this out of my own like i

[Nick McGowan]: need to go break my legs to

figure out that you can’t do that thing

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but you actually took that spun it

and then started to make the changes so

[Nick McGowan]: tell us a bit about what the

next two years three years like looking back

[Nick McGowan]: on that now what did that look

like like what were some of those changes

[Nick McGowan]: you made

[Lia Bliss]: so one of those things was the

patients

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: to

[Nick McGowan]: what

[Lia Bliss]: let it happen but

[Nick McGowan]: oh man

[Lia Bliss]: i’ll tell you

[Nick McGowan]: patients

[Lia Bliss]: i got

[Nick McGowan]: is

[Lia Bliss]: this

[Nick McGowan]: a four letter word

[Lia Bliss]: it’s the worst i got this girl

friend

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: and i think in retrospect this is

kind of my mindset

[Nick McGowan]: yah

[Lia Bliss]: she came to me and was like

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: hey lea i just started

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: this like mind set coaching business now

i really feel like this is my calling

[Lia Bliss]: i really feel super aligned in it

and i’m just really discouraged because i just

[Lia Bliss]: don’t feel like i’m being successful and

i was like okay we’ll tell me about

[Lia Bliss]: it she’s like live been doing

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: it for six weeks

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: and i just yeah i fell over

and i wanted

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Lia Bliss]: to just slap her but we were

actually in person and that probably would have

[Lia Bliss]: been inappropriate

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: but it’s like bitch

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: six weeks give me six

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: year is like

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: no no one will find success in

the first six weeks not a single soul

[Lia Bliss]: but for me

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: it it doesn’t matter i i believe

you have

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: you can’t do it alone you have

to hire someone in every single thing that

[Lia Bliss]: i do i have a fitness trainer

that i pay i have a financial advisor

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: that i pay you can’t get to

big goals unless you hire someone who’s been

[Lia Bliss]: there and is willing to coach you

through the rough moments so i hired

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: a

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: mindset coach and at the time

i thought i was going to have like

[Lia Bliss]: this i was going to do like

one on one mindset coaching and i

[Lia Bliss]: was going to help like women who

had been through trauma i had this all

[Lia Bliss]: built up in my mind and so

i went through the coaching

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: with her

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: and that started it was a three

month program that i started october of twenty

[Lia Bliss]: nineteen and so october november december great

i started putting out

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: a ton of content online i was

making videos i was doing all these things

[Lia Bliss]: while simultaneously working two jobs and being

apparent this wasn’t like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: i quit all my jobs and everything

[Nick McGowan]: yah

[Lia Bliss]: magically alone

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: no

[Nick McGowan]: it’s not

[Lia Bliss]: is

[Nick McGowan]: real

[Lia Bliss]: working

[Nick McGowan]: life

[Lia Bliss]: like sixty hours a week plus trying

to side hustle my own company and then

[Lia Bliss]: here the pandemic hare

[Nick McGowan]: m m

[Lia Bliss]: what was interesting is that i had

so i could i was working at them

[Lia Bliss]: all the time couldn’t work at them

all couldn’t work at the bar those things

[Lia Bliss]: had closed all of a sudden

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i was at home with the one

thing that i kept telling myself that i

[Lia Bliss]: wanted more of only had more time

only had more time well guess

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: what bit you got all the time

in the worldsat

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: around and for three months i made

videos every single day uploaded these like six

[Lia Bliss]: minute youtube videos just about

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: mindset stuff

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: and it was dingy and i look

back in the cringe the cringes

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: so bad i

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: look at those videos and like that’s

embarrassing never never should you have ever done

[Lia Bliss]: that weird oh but

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i got a

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: phone call about three months into it

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: and somebody in my life

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: had seen those videos

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Lia Bliss]: and more importantly had seen the consistency

that i was bringing to it

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: and said hey this person’s got a

soft skill that i think we can use

[Lia Bliss]: and so

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: through kind of the telephone

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: game

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: i get a call

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: from my dad

[Nick McGowan]: cording

[Lia Bliss]: who had just started his own company

after battling his own

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: mind set demons for fifty

[Nick McGowan]: ah

[Lia Bliss]: years

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: and he said hey

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: so it’s it’s i don’t know what’s

more embarrassing that i’m going to ask you

[Lia Bliss]: this or that i didn’t think to

ask you before but

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i need you to come and work

for me

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: because

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i’m overwhelmed with work and i’m not

going to ask any of your other four

[Lia Bliss]: sisters because it’s a very specific skill

set that i

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: need you to have that you have

can you come do this for me was

[Lia Bliss]: like maybe five hours a week it’s

nothing crazy but it’s a big risk help

[Lia Bliss]: your old dad out i was

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Lia Bliss]: like okay

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Lia Bliss]: sure i’ll do that and i said

yes to something that i wasn’t necessarily aligned

[Lia Bliss]: with what i thought i wanted out

of my life

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: but i think the best way to

go about it is to kind of pick

[Lia Bliss]: the things that you care about and

then don’t give a shit about the things

[Lia Bliss]: that you don’t care about

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: at that point

[Nick McGowan]: big time

[Lia Bliss]: all i wanted was a job where

i could choose my own hours work from

[Lia Bliss]: home and be creative and that was

it for the requirements and so that was

[Lia Bliss]: served to me on a silver platter

by the universe because i’m the main character

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: i got it and then all of

the other things like i had to study

[Lia Bliss]: the data from the linked in algorithm

research report every year talk about some dry

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: as reading turba

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: but

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: adiadiada you work

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: hard you keep inserting yourself that whole

lean in thing did

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: some of that and now my life

is great i work like thirty hours a

[Lia Bliss]: week or make ship tone of money

and i sit at home and get on

[Lia Bliss]: podcasts

[Nick McGowan]: what a beautiful thing

[Lia Bliss]: it’s great

[Nick McGowan]: yeah that the biggest nugget that

i got out of what you had said

[Nick McGowan]: was the being able to allow yourself

to just keep moving and pivot

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: on things because some people do the

things that you do where they’re like all

[Nick McGowan]: right i signed up for this thing

i’m going to do this thing going a

[Nick McGowan]: do this course they’re going o teach

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: me how to do this and i’m

going

[Lia Bliss]: a

[Nick McGowan]: to get out of this i’m goin

a do this thing an i’m goin to

[Nick McGowan]: do all this ship

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: and they go i’ve done all this

things why the fun don’t i see any

[Nick McGowan]: success

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: and some of that’s a couple of months

in some of that might be a couple

[Nick McGowan]: years depending on the person

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but some of that is really on

you to then go well what opportunities are

[Nick McGowan]: being shown to me

[Lia Bliss]: s

[Nick McGowan]: because some of them just may not

be fully

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: visible to you

[Lia Bliss]: right right it doesn’t have to be

like the exact thing or nothing else

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: it can

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: be eighty percent i like to

think of it like if

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: you have your goal in the distance

and it’s

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: kind of a loose goal like i

want to generally be happy make a bunch

[Lia Bliss]: of money maybe travel like whatever that

is to you like figure out what that

[Lia Bliss]: is and then just start moving towards

it in any means necessary making

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: sure that the opportunities that you’re

taking are leading you closer to that even

[Lia Bliss]: if it’s not a direct path it’s

in the general direction of your goals that’s

[Lia Bliss]: still

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: good

[Nick McGowan]: yeah i think there are people that

that need to plan

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: and that’s like their jam in life

then there ther people that hate it they

[Nick McGowan]: don’t want to plan at all

[Lia Bliss]: hmm

[Nick McGowan]: but i think this can still work

for both sets of

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: people because just moving continuously moving king

the next thing i mean if you really

[Nick McGowan]: think about the iterations you have throughout

the day

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: just in what you’re doing even if

you go well i need to change this

[Nick McGowan]: differently we do it all day every

day

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: but sometimes we look at but the

bigger things and go a holy fuck that’s

[Nick McGowan]: such a giant project that i don’t

want

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: to and they

[Lia Bliss]: i’m

[Nick McGowan]: just stop

[Lia Bliss]: immediately

[Nick McGowan]: themselves

[Lia Bliss]: tired yeah

[Nick McGowan]: so how do you how do you

get yourself

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: through that and what sort of advice

would you give somebody to be able to

[Nick McGowan]: get themselves through that

[Lia Bliss]: i think you have to take equal

opportunity to look at the big picture and

[Lia Bliss]: then put your head down i think

that if you are too much of either

[Lia Bliss]: of those things you get into trouble

[Nick McGowan]: balance

[Lia Bliss]: balance yeah because if you are only

looking at the big picture like i i

[Lia Bliss]: want to make a million dollars and

then you just are like where do i

[Lia Bliss]: start and that’s all you can focus

on that’s going

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: to be too hard but if you

keep your head down and you just are

[Lia Bliss]: grinding grinding grinding and never look up

you may have accidentally slow walked yourself right

[Lia Bliss]: off your path

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: and so i mean like you said

in the day to day like in my

[Lia Bliss]: today i i

[Nick McGowan]: yah

[Lia Bliss]: know kind of what the overall goal

for the company is but then i have

[Lia Bliss]: daily tasks okay what do i need

to get

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: done today that’s going to get closer

to the goal and how to figure that

[Lia Bliss]: out i mean there’s the whole jrysignfeld

effect that i love i don’t know if

[Lia Bliss]: you’ve

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: heard of that right

[Nick McGowan]: joke at day yeah

[Lia Bliss]: well yeah just one a day

[Nick McGowan]: one joke and thing yea

[Lia Bliss]: as long as you are doing it

you don’t break then you’re only so for

[Lia Bliss]: those that don’t know jerry sinful has

a goal of writing every single day you

[Lia Bliss]: got to wit at least one joke

a day and once he’s done that he

[Lia Bliss]: crossed it off on his calendar and

then it’s not so much that oh i

[Lia Bliss]: have to write today it’s my only

goal is to not break the chain i’ve

[Lia Bliss]: done

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Lia Bliss]: it every single day up until now

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: i’m not going to let myself break

the chain and so i think that success

[Lia Bliss]: begets momentum like you might feel motivated

but then you have to actually have a

[Lia Bliss]: small negative success for you to be

motivated to keep going to the next part

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: and so finding

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: like reasons to celebrate hey look i

wrote down my todo list right to do

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: list check

[Nick McGowan]: got

[Lia Bliss]: do

[Nick McGowan]: it

[Lia Bliss]: to do list

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: but

[Nick McGowan]: that’s a very good point have you

read the book atomic habits

[Lia Bliss]: yes many times

[Nick McGowan]: all right

[Lia Bliss]: yeah i love that power

[Nick McGowan]: i

[Lia Bliss]: of habit

[Nick McGowan]: act

[Lia Bliss]: atomic habits

[Nick McGowan]: yeah i just wrapped that up this

weekend and

[Lia Bliss]: oh nice

[Nick McGowan]: i think it was maybe one of

the final chapters that he brought up the

[Nick McGowan]: jerry sinfeld thing and i’ve known of

that thing for years but yeah don’t break

[Nick McGowan]: the chain and i thought out jerry

being you know forty fifty years into

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: this chain where he can’t break that

chain any more that’s

[Lia Bliss]: no

[Nick McGowan]: just like you wake up you go

to the bathroom that’s how this life works

[Lia Bliss]: right

[Nick McGowan]: makes a joke every day and he

got himself into that rhythm of it

[Lia Bliss]: yeah and that’s

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: the success like there are you know

plenty of time there’s plenty there’s no time

[Lia Bliss]: and there’s plenty of time because

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: you can’t start your dreams tomorrow that’s

just stupid but you’ve got a ton of

[Lia Bliss]: time to day to make one small

step towards it

[Nick McGowan]: yea and to be okay with that

small step and

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: to actually look at those little little

winds and celebrations

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: like you had said even you know

writing out to do list i made my

[Nick McGowan]: todo list

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: if

[Lia Bliss]: go

[Nick McGowan]: that’s

[Lia Bliss]: me

[Nick McGowan]: a win for somebody yeah be excited

about it i think some people

[Lia Bliss]: he

[Nick McGowan]: feel weird about that ship they’re like

no that’s not good enough like if

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: it’s not good enough then do something

else but if it’s good enough then be

[Nick McGowan]: okay with it and allow that to

be the thing that moves you along in

[Lia Bliss]: progress

[Nick McGowan]: now i

[Lia Bliss]: over

[Nick McGowan]: think

[Lia Bliss]: perfection

[Nick McGowan]: some of that and some of that

might come from not even some of it

[Nick McGowan]: i think most all of it comes

from our childhood trauma the ship that we’ve

[Lia Bliss]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: been

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: through as kids to be able to

set us up for that and set us

[Nick McGowan]: up not in the best way to

be able to set us up to be

[Nick McGowan]: able to go funk that’s not good

enough because when i was six my dad

[Nick McGowan]: told me this wasn’t good enough and

not stuck with me

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: so it’s like

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: getting yourself out of that and

[Lia Bliss]: well

[Nick McGowan]: i know you’ve

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: got a younger kid so how do

you treat

[Lia Bliss]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: your child differently than knowing what you

went through when you were younger and who

[Nick McGowan]: you were how do you

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: kind of parent your kid now with

that mindset

[Lia Bliss]: that’s a

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: definitely a question to ask

[Nick McGowan]: it’s not a good or bad one

[Lia Bliss]: it’s

[Nick McGowan]: just to question

[Lia Bliss]: it is a neutral that’s a question

[Nick McGowan]: that

[Lia Bliss]: that’s a

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Lia Bliss]: question

[Nick McGowan]: uh

[Lia Bliss]: so for me i really struggled with

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: this self identity like for some reason

unknown to me i self identified as like

[Lia Bliss]: a loser slacker party girl like really

early

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: in mine life like young young middle

school age even though i was literally none

[Lia Bliss]: of those things and never have been

really but i identified that way so i

[Lia Bliss]: just assumed i was always going to

fail so when i look at my son

[Lia Bliss]: i think a big part of the

difference in parenting that i see is that

[Lia Bliss]: i allow him like my biggest thing

is i’m just gonna low him to feel

[Lia Bliss]: his feelings right there is

[Nick McGowan]: good

[Lia Bliss]: none of this like suck it up

be a man even though i want to

[Lia Bliss]: like the world is hard like tough

enough

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: bro but it’s just i’m going to

allow you like hey are you are you

[Lia Bliss]: sad are you mad go be mad

but we have one rule it’s that you

[Lia Bliss]: can be mad but you can’t be

mean and that includes to yourself because i

[Lia Bliss]: don’t know where he picked up the

self-deprecating habits he’d be like yeah i

[Lia Bliss]: suck like i’m terrible i’m a loser

and it’s like whoa eight you can’t have

[Lia Bliss]: that kind of internal dialogue man

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: and i’ll tell him you can’t talk

about my kid like that and i’ll yell

[Lia Bliss]: at him

[Nick McGowan]: huh

[Lia Bliss]: you can’t talk about my kid he’s

like

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: but i am it’s me i am

your

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: kid and it’s like no i don’t

care you don’t get to be mean to

[Lia Bliss]: somebody i care about even if that

person that i care about is yourself

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: so

[Nick McGowan]: it’s

[Lia Bliss]: you can

[Nick McGowan]: awesome

[Lia Bliss]: be mad which can’t be mean

[Nick McGowan]: yeah i really like that you’re yelling

at the bad version that’s coming

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: out that’s talking ship because you can’t

really be like well you see that just

[Nick McGowan]: it’s some bad thoughts that we need

to get through because he’s in

[Lia Bliss]: right kids

[Nick McGowan]: a

[Lia Bliss]: don’t

[Nick McGowan]: spot where he’s learning and growing yeah

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: exactly but that you can esonify it

and be like no i’m yelling at that

[Nick McGowan]: the thing that’s not you because at

[Lia Bliss]: right

[Nick McGowan]: your core that’s not you

[Lia Bliss]: right and then maybe i’ll give them

skitzofeni

[Nick McGowan]: m hm

[Lia Bliss]: later i don’t know like we’re all

trying to fuck up our kids at some

[Lia Bliss]: point but whatever we

[Nick McGowan]: i don’t

[Lia Bliss]: just

[Nick McGowan]: know

[Lia Bliss]: watched

[Nick McGowan]: if

[Lia Bliss]: moon

[Nick McGowan]: everybody’s

[Lia Bliss]: night so now that’s

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: in

[Nick McGowan]: man

[Lia Bliss]: my head like oh no

[Nick McGowan]: that’s funny

[Lia Bliss]: oh no

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: ye

[Nick McGowan]: m well it’s funny you say we

all are trying to fuck up our kids

[Nick McGowan]: in some ways

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: growing up i thought that my parents

were actively doing what they could to funk

[Nick McGowan]: with me

[Lia Bliss]: of

[Nick McGowan]: they were once i thought about that

and i was like you guys are just

[Nick McGowan]: being assholes like what is

[Lia Bliss]: what

[Nick McGowan]: sucking wrong with you and then when

i

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: got older remember having conversations with both

parents separately because they were never together i

[Nick McGowan]: was basically you know they were at

a party one night about

[Lia Bliss]: you’re

[Nick McGowan]: a year

[Lia Bliss]: like my

[Nick McGowan]: later

[Lia Bliss]: kid

[Nick McGowan]: dad found out like he

[Lia Bliss]: eh

[Nick McGowan]: he got a three months old he

wandered around he kind o looks like um

[Nick McGowan]: so

[Lia Bliss]: surprise

[Nick McGowan]: they yeah they had that whole situation

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but i learned from having conversations with

my parents separately in my late twenties early

[Nick McGowan]: thirties that they were just trying to

figure themselves out like they

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: had no idea never trying to do

the best they can but you can’t figure

[Nick McGowan]: that out and think about that and

years later in life go yeah you know

[Nick McGowan]: you’re just trying to be a fucking

adult i know now

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: got

[Lia Bliss]: i

[Nick McGowan]: it

[Lia Bliss]: think that’s the moment you become a

grown up the moment that you realize that

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: your parents are just other adults

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Lia Bliss]: and you as an adult can agree

and disagree with their deciso making

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: that’s when you’re like oh i’m here

now here’s this is adulthood welcome

[Nick McGowan]: and there are some people that are

forty fifty years old and still not adults

[Nick McGowan]: then

[Lia Bliss]: correct

[Nick McGowan]: because they still look to their parents

for certain things that’s an

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: interesting

[Lia Bliss]: that was

[Nick McGowan]: way

[Lia Bliss]: my

[Nick McGowan]: to be able to put it

[Lia Bliss]: that’s my x for sure

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: he his mom

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: god the things

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: that he would tell me that she

did that i’m like i get why your

[Lia Bliss]: sister disowned her and he’s like well

no no i’m like

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: hey man you can make a different

choice yeah

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: it takes a decision takes

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: a decision but as you said with

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: with that person that helped you make

a decision you’re able to look through them

[Nick McGowan]: and into their situation to

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: make that decision

[Lia Bliss]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: but hey you got to be responsible

yourself right

[Lia Bliss]: absolutely

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: right i mean we can hold up

all kinds of mirrors and you can get

[Lia Bliss]: advice and you can listen to amazing

podcasts but unless you completely internalize it like

[Lia Bliss]: just pretending i just i don’t get

that

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: you’re pretending to

[Nick McGowan]: oh

[Lia Bliss]: bettering your life you’re like going through

the motions but you’re half asking self-improvement

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: i don’t know if everybody goes through

that but i want to say most people

[Nick McGowan]: do because

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: i think over the first couple of

years of like learning you’re on shore and

[Nick McGowan]: you’re still like but

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: i still feel like a chitty human

or i still feel i want

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: to do these things or whatever and

i think we all still kind of battle

[Nick McGowan]: stuff and work through addictions and everything

else that happens

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but you’re right like you got to

put it in action so

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: on that note what sort of deep

work are you doing right now and how

[Nick McGowan]: do you actually take those actions like

what sort of advice do you give to

[Nick McGowan]: somebody that you’re like look on the

daily this is kind of what i work

[Nick McGowan]: through to be able to benefit myself

these ways

[Lia Bliss]: i think journaling is the number one

thing

[Nick McGowan]: ah

[Lia Bliss]: get that from my dad

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: he kept a journal for the past

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: thirty years and there’s a billion zilionjournaling

techniques but just two understand that like to

[Lia Bliss]: get something out of your body you

gotta journal it and then you

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: have to fill back up and i’ve

become really sensitive to what kind of media

[Lia Bliss]: like social media movies books everything that

i consume and so it’s okay what are

[Lia Bliss]: you getting out of your body and

then what are you putting back in because

[Lia Bliss]: that’s saying a

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: diet doesn’t just come down to the

food it comes

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: down to the things that you listen

to things that you participate

[Nick McGowan]: yep

[Lia Bliss]: in

[Nick McGowan]: everything

[Lia Bliss]: hm so yeah it’s less about

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i mean i could say like and

then i meditate for an hour a day

[Lia Bliss]: and then i go on a walk

and then i do

[Nick McGowan]: don’t

[Lia Bliss]: now

[Nick McGowan]: lie though

[Lia Bliss]: don’t

[Nick McGowan]: tell me the

[Lia Bliss]: lie

[Nick McGowan]: actual things

[Lia Bliss]: i tried that once i put myself

through thirty days of like

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: doing all of the girl

[Nick McGowan]: what

[Lia Bliss]: right i’m the i’m going

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: to do all the things

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: wake up at five a m and

drink my lemon wate or in an hour

[Lia Bliss]: of meditation and it you spend more

time like worrying about doing the things than

[Lia Bliss]: you do reaping benefits from the things

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: so journal

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: every day don’t take in gorbage mentally

physically emotionally and then check i would say

[Lia Bliss]: check your inner circle there’s nothing that

helps me more than my friends and

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: i get to proudly say that i

have ten close best friend women im in

[Lia Bliss]: my thirties like i’m basically jesus nobody

does that they say that was jesus’s real

[Lia Bliss]: miracles

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: having twelve close personal friends in his

thirties

[Nick McGowan]: yeah the one was a douce bag

but you know whatever

[Lia Bliss]: but whatever

[Nick McGowan]: he opened other things up

[Lia Bliss]: yeah but yeah i have ten

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: close way close female friendships

[Nick McGowan]: that’s cool

[Lia Bliss]: and i get to talk to them

i mean i talk to at least one

[Nick McGowan]: sorry

[Lia Bliss]: of them every day we spend time

together but there was there was a experience

[Lia Bliss]: we had a couple of weeks ago

where he was like a new girl that

[Lia Bliss]: came to hang out with us we

were doing crafts one of my friends

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: a professional craft er

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: so we’re doing crafts in our professional

craft studio is very fun and girly and

[Lia Bliss]: this new girl was there and was

just so blown away by how independently successful

[Lia Bliss]: and impressive each of the people in

the room were and it’s like yeah when

[Lia Bliss]: you’re in it you don’t realize but

when you come across a group of people

[Lia Bliss]: who are all just winning it

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: gets intimidating until and when i first

met them i was intimidated but then you

[Lia Bliss]: realize that you attract what you are

so

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: look around to the people that are

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: around you they are they saying that

everything happens to them are they not taking

[Lia Bliss]: accountability for their actions like change up

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: the people that you talk to every

day those people will suck with your mind

[Lia Bliss]: set more than anything else

[Nick McGowan]: oh my god big time

[Lia Bliss]: oh

[Nick McGowan]: and i have to have this conversation

more than i want to but those five

[Nick McGowan]: people do count for

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: your family fucking counts your

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: colleagues at work they count and

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: some people forget about that because they’re

like oh no no it’s just you know

[Nick McGowan]: my friends that i may be talk

to once a week what about everybody

[Nick McGowan]: else like oh

[Lia Bliss]: right

[Nick McGowan]: well there’s my wife and

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: there’s my in laws

[Lia Bliss]: yeah your wife would

[Nick McGowan]: and

[Lia Bliss]: maybe

[Nick McGowan]: then there’s this fucking

[Lia Bliss]: matter

[Nick McGowan]: dose bag at work and it’s like

well let’s talk about these things and why

[Nick McGowan]: you think that person is a dose

bag and like whatever

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: going through that sort of stuff

[Lia Bliss]: who do you

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: spend literally

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: the most time with

[Nick McGowan]: m yeah m m i love to

ask at the end of this what’s that

[Nick McGowan]: one piece of advice you give to

somebody on their path towards self mastery and

[Nick McGowan]: that sounds like that’s it

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: there’s something else you want to add

but i feel like that’s it like that’s

[Nick McGowan]: some of the people you’re with and

we’ve heard this so many times

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: but king get it people the people

[Lia Bliss]: check your

[Nick McGowan]: you connect

[Lia Bliss]: friends

[Nick McGowan]: with yeah

[Lia Bliss]: take accountability for your own actions

[Nick McGowan]: m and your friends don’t mean your

facebook friends because

[Lia Bliss]: no

[Nick McGowan]: none of all of them are real

[Lia Bliss]: now well write a list like take

honestly

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: the one single piece of take

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: away that i wish everyone would do

is

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Lia Bliss]: track things track

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: where your time goes do you

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: know where you’re wasting time track who

spend the most time with do you even

[Lia Bliss]: know track what you’re spending your money

on i bet you didn’t remember that

[Lia Bliss]: subscription that you forgot to cancel if

you

[Nick McGowan]: h

[Lia Bliss]: can track

[Nick McGowan]: m

[Lia Bliss]: more things in your life if i’ve

learned nothing from this weir random kind of

[Lia Bliss]: bulshit job that i have it’s

that data drives everything and if you aren’t

[Lia Bliss]: like trying to calculate data on your

own self to make adjustments based on the

[Lia Bliss]: data you’re doing it wrong

[Nick McGowan]: how would you suggest somebody go about

that to at least start

[Lia Bliss]: write it down i would first set

a timer every hour on the hour and

[Lia Bliss]: then record what you’re doing eve and

it’s gonna be embarrassing because you’re going to

[Lia Bliss]: be like oh tik tok tik tok

tik tok shit

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: but start keeping track

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: even if that’s just in your journal

every morning how do you feel when you

[Lia Bliss]: wake up

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: track that okay where did i spend

my day who am i with figure out

[Lia Bliss]: the things that you want to change

and then track those things

[Nick McGowan]: and i think you gave that tangible

step of journaling being able to

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: journal in the morning there’s still a

lot of people that have

[Lia Bliss]: i

[Nick McGowan]: have a hard time journalling i know

i thought it for years years

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: like didn’t want to do it i

didn’t want to do it at all i

[Nick McGowan]: haven’t blamed my handwriting all of

that and

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: it’s not the case i mean ship

i was journaling last night for like an

[Nick McGowan]: hour and a half also doing

some prep for the week the next half

[Nick McGowan]: of

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: the year but i was looking and

i was like man my handwriting is not

[Nick McGowan]: atrocious when i give a ship

[Lia Bliss]: right

[Nick McGowan]: which is vastly different than remember pitching

complaining but i don’t want to do it

[Nick McGowan]: because i was afraid of doing the

tracking

[Lia Bliss]: yes

[Nick McGowan]: so i’m glad that you bring that

up because that is a that is kind

[Nick McGowan]: of a super power to be able

to track but also manage your time which

[Lia Bliss]: hm

[Nick McGowan]: is a big thing and it starts

with you doing something that has to do

[Nick McGowan]: with you pen and paper or pencil

and paper

[Lia Bliss]: yeah yeah i track i started tracking

i realized the power of it when i

[Lia Bliss]: started doing body building competitions because to

track like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: my sleeping and my

[Nick McGowan]: everything

[Lia Bliss]: maros

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: and everything and it started bleeding

over into other parts an i started tracking

[Lia Bliss]: my sleep score right on my

apple watch and then i started tracking like

[Nick McGowan]: hm

[Lia Bliss]: my water and then i started tracking

my time because i needed to fit all

[Lia Bliss]: this stupid bullshit into my schedule and

then i started tracking my relationships and now

[Lia Bliss]: i make i mean i’m sorry for

anyone that has to date me but i

[Lia Bliss]: make us sit down

[Nick McGowan]: ah

[Lia Bliss]: and do a three month chicken all

right we’ve been dating for three months let’s

[Lia Bliss]: do a temp chest let’s just see

where we’re at let’s track our

[Nick McGowan]: yeah

[Lia Bliss]: feelings so sorry honey

[Nick McGowan]: that is somebody now or

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: future versions of people that are just

like

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: okay

[Lia Bliss]: past president future i’m

[Nick McGowan]: all

[Lia Bliss]: back to hit the three month mark

with this guy i’m dating so i’m like

[Lia Bliss]: you have no idea what’s coming i’m

so sorry

[Nick McGowan]: well this probably won’t air until some

time in august maybe september so

[Lia Bliss]: few

[Nick McGowan]: if you listen to this it’ll be

post

[Lia Bliss]: we’ll be done perfect

[Nick McGowan]: yeah fair enough man well hey it’s

been a pleasure to have you on the

[Nick McGowan]: show i appreciate your

[Lia Bliss]: yeah

[Nick McGowan]: being on

[Lia Bliss]: thanks

[Nick McGowan]: um again i always like to wrap

this up with what’s

[Lia Bliss]: a

[Nick McGowan]: that one piece of

[Lia Bliss]: a

[Nick McGowan]: advice but you’ve already kind of gone

into that is there anything else that you

[Nick McGowan]: want to share or leave our audience

with

[Lia Bliss]: write it down whatever it is

[Nick McGowan]: good

[Lia Bliss]: write

[Nick McGowan]: stuff

[Lia Bliss]: it down that’s it

[Nick McGowan]: i appreciate that cool so tell us

where can people find you and connect with

[Nick McGowan]: you

[Lia Bliss]: find me on linked in because that’s

where i do all of my work i

[Lia Bliss]: am on linked in first name spelled

l i a last name bliss i’m on

[Lia Bliss]: instagram under best lia bliss an and

yeah she sent me a message i love

[Lia Bliss]: talking to people also

[Nick McGowan]: awesome

[Lia Bliss]: find me better

[Nick McGowan]: well thanks again it’s been a pleasure

[Lia Bliss]: awesome thanks so much