The Man Behind The Mic, Nick McGowan – Ep.010 – Nick McGowan

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Episode summary:​ As the host, I mostly speak with guests about how they manage their mindset and listen intently as they share the stories that shape them. So this is my opportunity to share with you a bit about my story and what has shaped me. 

Guest Name & Bio: Hi, I’m Nick McGowan and I’m a constantly evolving human, on a path toward self-mastery doing the best I can each day to manage my mindset, emotions, and help others do the same.

Most days you’ll find me running sales for the consumer products division of a 3D content company or interviewing guests on this podcast. Yes, this one is right here.  

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hello and welcome to the mindset and self mastery show i’m your host nick mcgowan and on this show my guests and i

unpack the stories that shape us and the lives we lead on our path to self-mastery today on the show i have

i have me yeah it’s just going to be me on the show today hope you’re all right with that i’ve actually heard from a number

of people that have said man we just want to hear an episode with you we love these interviews but we want to hear

some of your thoughts too so all right okay you’ll hear a bunch of my thoughts then and i appreciate you being here i

appreciate you listening to the show and i appreciate your feedback on all of this if there are specific topics

or anything you want us to get into and things that are important to you and your heart let us know

but for now let the games begin

hey me hey all right that was cheesy so look we’ve been through nine episodes of this show

so far together and i want to say thanks thank you for being here thank you for listening thank you for the support and

i hope it’s helping but it occurred to me recently that

you have been listening to the podcast for a little bit and if you know me you know some things about me if you’re

close and you’re part of that inner circle you know a lot deeper things about me but there are certain people

that have listened to these episodes and may think who the is this guy

what’s his deal so i thought i would answer some of those questions for you and give you a little bit of background

story you sort of the man behind the mic the mick behind the mic

yeah it makes me laugh at least but on a serious note i want to share a bit about my background where i’ve come from and

how i’ve gotten here and i hope that gives some context of why the show is how it is

and a little bit about the man behind the mic so i thought we would start off

with it was a dark and stormy night no actually i was born at in the

morning and i think my mom was there at night i don’t know if it was dark and stormy but

it may have been either way let’s take a step back into the hospital room in june

. nevermind i’m not going to do that to you that’s craziness

so look here’s the deal i’ve been in sales and marketing and personal growth for

a long long long time my mom has told me that i’ve been in sales since i was a little kid she’s

always saying things like uh you could sell ice to an eskimo or ketchup popsicle to a lady in a white

dress with white gloves on again i thought that was so weird but

being in sales and being in marketing therefore all comes back to creativity

and the overall creativity that i feel is not only within my genes there are different artists and

musicians that are in my lineage but i think it also comes down to the environment the people that had raised

me look there were tough times that i went through mom and dad if you listen to this love you guys absolutely love you and

appreciate what you had done there were different times where you guys dropped the ball and you know it and look every

parent does i’m sure i don’t have kids at the moment but i can imagine at some point when i have kids probably have a

beer with my kid in his late s s at some point i’ll go you know what dad you really up this one time

but i love you and i hope to have those conversations at some point because look i’ve had those with my own dad and i

think there’s a lot of importance to that so uh

let’s go back to let’s go back to high school high school i was an art kid

and i was a budding musician and

a floundering school student floundering in the sense that i didn’t do the best

in school because i didn’t really give a i didn’t want to be in school i wanted to be outside of school at all

times working on music or going after girls

or just not doing schoolwork because i didn’t really see the purpose to it

and i didn’t have any conversations with people that really made it purposeful besides just just do your work do your

homework or you know why didn’t you hand this thing in it’s really going to affect

your grades i didn’t really give a at all and then at one point senior year

my uh counselor and i sat down and we were like all right well what what school are you

going to go into in the back my mind i’m thinking i’m not going to go to a school i don’t want to be here why why would i want to go somewhere

else what’s wrong with you you know i was open though i was open to explain what those options would be

because as a year old kid i didn’t have any idea what i

wanted to do or how i would go about doing anything that was worthwhile

so i sat there and i listened and uh entertained in a sense you know at least

i thought i was entertaining like no and at one point the counselor had said to

me look we can get into an art school or we can get you into a music school something like that but you know you’re

probably not going to make any money any real money and i’m sure they said along the lines of

but there are other lucrative opportunities outside of that but you may need to put a little bit of hard work and dedication into but all i heard

was we put you know art or music but you ain’t gonna make any money i thought well that’s it i’m done and i checked

out and at that point i started to look outside of that but i was still going through traumas

and stuff that had happened as a kid in middle school and and throughout high school

there was a lot of stuff that had happened growing up that just left me feeling

helpless and hopeless at different times and searching for love in the wrong places

and really not understanding where my where my feet were on this earth and where they needed to be

so when i got out of high school i started to really push on the music

thing and ended up in a band that was doing some great things being looked at by some big

labels and all of that and then the band broke up the girlfriend i had uh broke up with me i didn’t have a

job i didn’t have any prospects i had no idea what the was going on so i ended up doing heroin and overdosing on

heroin not a fun place to be but i do remember that night when i when i overdosed and i got home i remember

smoking a cigarette because i smoked at that point and looking up and being like all right god

the was that about and why am i still here i think i had a

bit of a death wish to be able to not be here and not know what the i was doing anymore

and god didn’t directly speak to me and say nicholas i saved you because there’s more

i wish you know i really wish he was he said something like that but i didn’t get anything at all

um honestly i i didn’t know how to listen

but around that time i was legitimately praying to not be an anymore god

help me to not be an anymore was a consistent prayer almost

every night because i had no idea what was going on so um

going from that heroin overdose and looking up and saying well what else

what is next i i felt like that was one of those moments where i was not only able to look up

but my chin and my eyes were up and pointed in a new direction

where for a couple of years before that it was literally all just pointed down

and i didn’t see any further down than literally overdosing on heroin and then kind of crawling back to my mom’s house

and sitting in front of my computer and not knowing what the is going on in life

so not too long after that i’d end up getting introduced to a

multi-level marketing company and i had no idea what mlm was or wasn’t or anything of the sort i kind of learned

pretty quickly when i started to get involved and what other people would say because you’d say anything about

basically anything that had to do with an mlm and they’d be like oh my god and again i had no idea but what i

was trying to do was just be a little better or a little less shitty than i was

and to make some money and make something with life but i had no idea what was going on so as i got into that

that was my first step really into personal development because i remember meeting some people

that were you know there were people that were creepy and just weird but that’s life in general but there were a

handful of really solid great people that loved on me that i um

i looked back at them truly grateful for and those people spoke wisdom and knowledge into me and listened to my

as a year old kid or what have you so i’m going to fast forward a little

bit but i think there’s there’s some major major things that happened within that

first phase of after high school life with the overdosing of heroin and

figuring out what do i want to do from here now that i’m still alive and being able to actually get into

a company or at least an opportunity and a position to be able to speak to people

outside of just you know whatever i was into at the moment that honestly was just not

healthy at all so it was great to almost do a and just be forced to go

through those conversations and as i went through the next couple of years

i experienced some highs some major lows i met some incredible people traveled around a lot and uh made some money

along the way and it was all right i did pretty well but then there was a bunch of that happened and my mind

wasn’t right in the beginning of that i was a year old kid but it ended up

i ended up finding an opportunity to get into the car business and i i

know i know i’m literally telling you i was an art kid and then i

opted not to go to school for art or music and got into an mlm and now i’m

telling you about the car business and i know we’re only a handful of minutes into this but please stick around there’s a lot more to it and i

swear there’s depth that uh that we get into so when i got into the car business it

wasn’t a matter of getting into selling cars but it was all phone work

and being able to help people really set up a red carpet for them to

come into a dealership and work on getting something that was safe for them

uh and it was also right around the time where basically anybody could get a loan it’s like oh you never even paid your uh

your mom back for anything yeah it don’t matter come on in get a loan what do you want you oh you want a mercedes

cool let’s uh let’s figure that out yeah their payments would be bucks a month

but they would have the loan and then as we all know -ish when everything went

and just blew up part of that was it but within that time frame i actually jumped into not only

that car business but started the consultant company within the car business i’m condensing all this because

there’s a lot of that happened within those couple of years there was more growth there was a lot of

money made and a lot of money lost and at one point we realized me and a couple

other partners that were within the group realized the ship was not only going down but we were already underwater we

were basically a submarine and we were trying to keep the baby alive so just trying to pump money into the business

with credit cards and then next thing you know there i am back on my mom’s couch

lying there looking up at the ceiling like i did in high school

but at this time thinking what the am i doing back here and what happens next

so from that i ended up getting uh getting into the music business and

working at music stores and helping with sound and some lighting things of that sort i honestly just

wanted to get the away from what i was doing um because i wanted to have a little bit of fun again i was traveling

doing so much work at these car dealerships and working on the business and all that i just really wanted to get

away and just have some fun so i figured why not um

why not just go sell some guitars for a little bit hang out and play guitar for a couple

hours then sell the thing you were just playing so i proceeded to do that and for a couple of years that was great

played in my band was able to go out and play shows and have great equipment and

connections and all of that but at one point i just kind of felt like my soul was just dripping out of my ears like i

had nothing really going on so at that point something needed to change i needed to get into a situation

where i could actually do something that was creative with

problem solving and not just creative with music and i really enjoyed what was going on music wise there were some

great things that had happened but i just knew that there was more that i needed to do so

i ended up getting into a company that worked with real estate agents and

financial advisors i remember the interview and it sounded like a lot of phone calls and just being on the phone

with these people about their marketing and just consulting on marketing i thought you know this is going to be

great and i told the guy i just want to be a cube monkey just let me be a cube monkey just let me talk to these people

but when i got started with them i ended up doing training for the group and starting a senior marketing advisor role

within the group and team and spent a couple of years there as a cube monkey and sort of leadership

at different points to be able to talk to all these people and

after a few years i was kind of like i’m done i need to get out i need to do something different

but it was right around maybe or so when a friend of mine who was

one of the trainers in the consultant company we had in the car business he and his wife were thinking about

starting a digital marketing company specifically for small businesses

they said hey we’re thinking about starting this company and we’d love to have you on board i thought yeah that could be kind of cool be able to work

with a couple of friends and these friends lived in florida i was in philadelphia at the time so at one point i said hey i’m gonna fly

down my brother and sister and i were gonna go meet with our grandparents and go on a cruise and spend some family

time so i invited my friend and his wife to come over to have dinner with us and said hey

let’s talk about this business thing and if it makes sense maybe we’ll move on it so they came over

they not only had a great time with us that night but they had also brought their daughter with them

their daughter was a couple years younger than me she and i hit it off and within maybe a year or so

we were we were engaged and i was inching closer to leaving

my nine to five and in some ways didn’t really know it yet

so to jump ahead a little bit i ended up getting married and

had been in this company with my friends for about a year or so give or take

and a lot of that was research and us figuring out what we wanted to do talking to some people but

not making any sales i didn’t really try i don’t think others really tried as

much um because it was a part-time thing and you know whatever other excuse we were coming up with at that point

but about three months into um being married

i was asked to leave the company i was working with and needed to tell my wife at that point uh hey so um you know i

don’t have a job anymore what do you want to do for dinner tonight she was like what hold up now she was actually

out with a friend at that point uh when when i got home

and i had to call her and tell her what was going on and all of that and remember later that night and over the

course of the next couple of weeks we had many conversations we were newlyweds and we’re trying to figure out like what

happens from here i’d literally just married her in florida brought her up the philly and said here here’s a new

life um go find a job let’s figure this thing out we call life i love you let’s do it

and we were both kind of on the same page yeah in some ways or at least trying to be

and after i was let go and spent a couple of weeks trying to find a new job

i got into a position where i had this this role in hand

that was going to be what i thought would have been an awesome role and paid me probably

at least double what i was making at that that company i was with

and i got all the way up to the third interview and they literally told me hey

man you could be great for this role but we’re gonna go with somebody else

because they went to college and they have a piece of paper that says that they are in massive debt

at this point he didn’t say that but you know that’s how i read it so i just instantly

started cracking up just cracking up and uh the guy was taken a little aback

by it and i apologize like within a couple of seconds and laughing i was like oh i’m sorry i thought that was a joke but now i understand that you’re

being serious and now it kind of makes it even funnier look i’m sorry to hear that that’s the

decision you’ve made but if that’s it then okay cool because in the back of my mind at that point i thought all right

noted life i get it it’s time for me to do something again it’s time for me to step up and do

something had a conversation that night with my wife about what happened and what what are we going to do next and i

told her look i made a decision i’m going to go full time with the company with your parents we’re going to

do this thing she looks me square in the eyes and goes you haven’t made a sail in a year so what makes this any

different as one of those oof meter moments i was

like oh touche all right so now i’m going to jump ahead a little bit

over the course of the next year i ripped into it absolutely ripped into it with everything that i had absolutely

everything that i had we had some help along the way with uh family setting us up to be able to manage a

property and have an apartment on that property so i was full time with the company that

i had and i was full-time manager of a commercial and residential building

and husband full-time trying to do all these things and figure this stuff out as i went uh was fun at different times but

crazy at other times so there was a lot that i was going through personally in my own head and

there was a lot that my wife was going through and our business partners or her parents

and there was a lot that was just going on in the building that we had and at times

it felt pretty overwhelming now i know there are people that will listen to this to go out well that’s that’s

nothing you should hear the that i go through and you’re right i should tell me

and we’re all going through stuff so there were times where i remember thinking i’m not sure exactly how we’re

going to survive this and how we’re going to build this thing or what the right next move is but i just kept

moving and trucking along and within about a year and a half two years

we were at a good ground the business had recurring revenue that

was not only keeping us all afloat but allowing us to grow the business

and at one point the wife and i took a trip out to portland oregon

for a long weekend and three weeks later we’re

on a plane to move out there and there were special moments within

that and the risk that we took to be able to do that and how we kind of burned all the

bridges in a sense because it was just she and i going out there and it was just she and i together the no

family or friends around because it was or so miles away

but there we went we traveled out there and i’m still running the business trying to figure out how to bring in new

sales and grow things and leaving a network that i’d created in the philadelphia area to then start to do

things a bit differently so we get out to portland oregon and besides the crazy allergies i had for

the first month and a half i had an absolute blast i i mean look

honestly we had three weeks without any furniture because the company that was moving our up

and just left it all in a building in jersey somewhere

and then they had to ship everything over to us and it just took a long time but even at that point you know we just

lying there on our air mattress we had bought from the target down the street and

the stuff that we took with us on the plane ride and there were special moments that allowed us to bond

and in those moments i think we started to figure out some deeper things about

ourselves what we were capable of and what we were actually kind of going through

now years since then i understand that my wife and i were both going through some things

internally that we weren’t really talking to each other about and over the course of the next year that we were in portland

the business continued to grow in certain ways where we brought on new

products and services and new team members and new clients we were losing clients

in different ways because we were just changing things up and stuff was happening plus the clientele that we had

are all small businesses so if they were hurting one month they would typically pull marketing

budget and you know kind of same old same old but that did no good for my psyche

because there were moments where i thought and i think we had right around people that were part of the team and

there were nights where i just couldn’t sleep because i thought if we don’t sell more

or if we don’t save this client or if we don’t have this thing happen then we’re all going to die and i remember thinking

you know that’s a bit extreme we’re not all going to die but the lives that these people have

built within the company that’s going to not look the same way

and things are going to change and that thought of death was in my head

i remember saying it to people ah you know if this happens we’re all going to die and i had joked about that a lot but

there were times literally within that year that death was something that just kept

creeping up because i felt so overwhelmed and had issues within my marriage that

were being unspoken traumatic issues that i hadn’t fully processed through from my previous

businesses high school grade school

being a kid you know little nicholas little little kid version of me was

still deep inside traumatized and have no idea what was going on or

where we were going or how things were going to happen and i just kept plowing on

and plowing on and plowing on and thinking that i just had to hustle and just work through this stuff

by just working and the more money i would make the better it would be that was not the case

i don’t think that’ll ever be the case i can’t see how that could ever actually be the answer

because it’s not about being outside of us it’s about us being okay inside

and there were a couple moments that were truly scary moments that i told family and friends later and now

here in the public but there were moments where i thought you know i could just go up to the top

of the building and just jump and that would solve a lot of the problems

or at least solve my problems and when i was thinking through that at different

times and found myself figuring out ways that i could kind of take care of things before i took care

of me i got to one point where i thought all right well i’m either going to jump or

i’m going to do something different and i remember it sunk in i was like you’re going to do what or what

and it hit me that i was not only debating on whether or not to do it

but i was just about okay with it and it was almost like somebody outside

of me like a third perspective had said that doesn’t make any sense

you gotta look at this differently and when it hit me like that and i thought i’m going to either jump or i’m

going to do something different i was like oh oh i don’t want to jump at all

but what do i do and again that was one of those shifts where my head was down and then when i

was able to bring my head back up that that put me in a new

direction and allowed me to start to look at things differently without hitting directly rock bottom or

on the the sidewalk next to our condo building

there were some friends that i talked to in those dark times that i had shed some

light on what was going on and they were there and they were supportive in the ways that they could be thousands of

miles away and those people had no idea exactly how dark it was because i wasn’t allowing

them to come in and i know that’s something that i i need to never do that again i need to

allow people to come in and be able to understand where i’m at and what’s going

on so at one point um we my wife and i had

decided to leave portland to head to florida she wanted to change careers and found a an opportunity to be able to get

into a new career in florida and at one point i knew

um all along honestly that we were going to end up in florida because that’s where

she was from and we had to go back every year for holidays and stuff like that so i was

okay with that it’s alright cool knowing where my head was and what was going on internally i thought man

this could be a great opportunity to get out of this space and i was yet again basically running

trying to run away from the problems and not fully going through it and

processing what was happening so we actually traveled across country

which was fantastic we had such beautiful experiences going from portland oregon all the way

to the middle of florida and the sites that we had seen

the conversations we had together were great but there were also a lot of

conversations i had in my own head just driving along for hours and hours

an hour and i think that time was very therapeutic for me to be able to spend

some time away from being in all the craziness and that i was in

and not being able to do anything besides drive and think

there was no major moments that happened along that way of uh you know that stood out

and was really like a crazy aha moment there was just some processing that was

that was being done then when we got to florida i was with the company for another couple of months

and ultimately needed to go but it took another drive for me to figure that out

so when we were in florida i have family in philadelphia and now that we’re on

this coast again i wanted to be able to go back and see some family and friends so my wife and i would hop in our suv we

would drive up and we would just drive straight through we would set up a bed in the back because it was an suv

and you know we would sleep one at a time so the other would drive and all that and we’d just take the you know

hour trip whatever it was however fast we were driving and

i had time to be able to think through what do i want to do now what’s happening do i really want to

stay here do we need to do things differently and i’d already had conversations

suggesting that we do things differently and i felt internally that i needed to go

now to take a little bit of a step back there were a couple times in life where i call them god nods where god’s like yo

you need to do this you need to go this direction or here’s what’s going to happen and sometimes those aren’t verbal

or a feeling but it’s just an innate

warmth almost and i feel i’m okay and i’m gonna keep going there was a moment back when i had the consultant company

where i felt god had said you need to go and i left and that was what brought me to my mom’s

couch there was a moment driving cross country

that i felt hey you may need to leave that company and that was scary and there was a couple of moments

driving up to philadelphia and then having conversations with friends and trusted

family members about where my head was and what was going on with the company not me personally as

much but what was going on with the company and it popped up again hey

you probably need to do something about this so ended up praying a lot thinking a lot talking to

a couple other people and finally making the decision to be able to get out of the company

and uh doing something different but i took a couple of months i literally took a bit of a sabbatical to just

be and figure my stuff out because i felt like i was inches away from almost

being suicidal again and i’d experienced this a couple of times now here i am in

my early s and i’m going through this again like this just has to stop

so i took a few months to be able to work through that stuff the first month

maybe the first couple weeks was just enjoying florida and

playing some music and just being and then i started to really get into

what do i want what what’s happened so far and at that point

i didn’t realize that i had started to create a process for myself

of all the personal growth and personal development stuff that i’ve learned over the years

i started to really piece this stuff all together to help myself figure out a plan to move on from there what do i

want to do what what really aligns with me

what makes me excited and i sat with those and i started to go through them and i started to write out

what i wanted and what i didn’t want and where i thought i wanted to be in a

couple of years got into meditation and

started to really tap into my intuition and almost speak directly to god as

often as i could to be able to figure out what has to happen next and over the course of a couple of

months i worked through my process and i got into a position with a company

that was doing incredible things in technology and took me to a different level

made me really look at things differently but it was because of the work that i’d done to

figure out what i wanted and where i wanted to go and what i thought that next step was going to be

and it ended up looking like the company that i was going to join life changed at that point

because i had made a decision to not only leave my company but then to join a different company

and literally made triple the amount that i was making with my own company

more time more freedom there was a lot more pressure in a different way than what i was used to

over the course of the past few years and that pressure was different in the sense that i wasn’t all by myself and we

didn’t just have our outsourced group of team members in our smaller group in the us

and we weren’t just bootstrapping every single thing and i had to be around people again

because for the most part i was basically just working out of my house in portland or in philly or in florida

and to be back in an office again and to be able to people again was such an incredible thing which

here we are in and we’re kind of experiencing a similar thing where now we’re out quote-unquote

peopling again and going to trade shows conferences

you know in person visits and just being able to go out hang out with family and friends again so

to jump a little further ahead because that’s been kind of a bulk of a recap there

so i joined that company in and one of the coolest things that happened right off the bat was that the

philadelphia eagles won the super bowl literally a couple weeks into the new job and i took that as kind of a good

omen i’m like jeez the eagles finally won the super bowl now i wasn’t in philly for it but at least i was on the

same coast and they beat the patriots what a beautiful thing thank god for

nick falls and obviously the rest of the eagles but you know so

there were some great things that were happening right off the bat eagles won i got this new gig and i’m rocking around

with it and really putting all of my energy into it as much as i can but i’m still

not fully done processing the that had happened from the past handful of years because there were certain things

that i just flat out was not talking about things that would come up in the back of my mind things that would come up behind

closed doors when i was alone i wasn’t talking about i just kept pushing and kept pushing kept pushing

and kept pushing and at one point it

was pushed by it i mean me and my body was pushed so hard

that i broke out in a rash from the back of my knees all the way up to my cheeks

i was covered and inflamed to the point where

i couldn’t move i literally had to sit on the couch for about

two and a half three weeks and i was just burning i went to

different doctors and dermatologists

and they thought it was just a reaction to something one of the people even told me oh well

whatever you ate in the past couple of days um or put into your body or touched uh

just don’t do that again and i looked at them like you an actual human

and is there something actually wrong with you so everything i’ve done recently

just don’t do again because it could lead to the thing that you have no idea what’s going on right thanks

so i had no idea what it was really have no idea at this point i still don’t know i think it might have

been some i don’t know i can just theorize but what i

feel inside and what i felt in my heart while sitting there inflamed maybe a

week and a half in was one of those god nods saying yo

calm down stop you need to go through the stuff that’s

already been gone through physically now you need to go through it mentally and spiritually

and process through it so i took a little bit of a note with that i slowed down a little bit

that allowed me to actually look at some of the things that was going on

but i i do a great job at talking myself in or out of different things that i want or don’t want to do

you’re probably similar you probably do the same thing that i do in that sense and it can get frustrating especially

when you repeat so

after the couple of weeks of burning and figuring out that uh i had i had to just

calm down a little bit the next year and a half two years were great

we had a lot going on with with the company i was with and my wife and i had

some different things that were were good for some bad things that happen along the way

you know family members or a pup got sick and you know different things that happened life right just life happened

there was still stuff that was deep inside that i hadn’t fully talked through that we hadn’t actually talked

through and then comes around and it’s one of those forcing functions

just like when i broke out in that rash tell me to shut the up and sit there

and basically told the entire world to just sit there you can’t go out you can’t do anything

and i don’t know how it went for you or the people that are around you for me and my wife

that gave us time to be able to

talk about things that we hadn’t really talked about and overall we were great communicators with each other

learned a lot from each other and there were things that we absolutely

needed to talk about and we started to have those conversations i mean how can you not when you’re

locked in a square foot condo it’s just me her and two dogs

and we both lived and worked there and had to figure out what we wanted to

do with life she ended up changing careers kind of early in the pandemic and during the

quarantine and i started to think about things that i wanted to do differently

and things that we may need to do differently

now to take a little bit of a sidebar and this is full transparency god this is a lot of openness

right around the end of i was seeing a therapist and walking down the path of i think i need to get a divorce

but i’m unsure and i would go back and forth and i spent months with my therapist

and months if not years talking to specific friends and those of you who you know

who you are i appreciate you love you for that and there was a time

maybe about a month and a half two months before we all went into quarantine where

i felt hey this is it i’m gonna i’m just gonna call it we gotta get a divorce that’s it

and i felt great about it and then almost instantly after that i

felt the complete opposite where i felt you know what you just need to love her

love her through it worst case scenario you get a divorce

and you at least loved each other through it and maybe that’ll work out however that’ll work out

best case scenario you love her through it and you both are in

a greater space together deeper love closer just all the positive things so i

saw really nothing wrong with that at all like worst case

we end up making a decision and still loving each other through that and

best case we end up making a decision and still loving each other through that so i thought

beautiful that’s exactly what i’m going to do thank you for one of those god nods

and then when we got into the whole pandemic and quarantined that was in the back of my mind because that had recently just happened i thought i’m

just going to continue to love and continue to love which allowed us to be open and communicative about some of the

really tough things that we needed to talk about so over the course of the next year or so

we had those deep tough conversations and divorce came back into the picture

and i did everything i could to be able to love her through it now hey you if

you listen to this and um yeah i’m talking my ex-wife if you listen to this i love you i loved

you and i loved what we had and i know that there’s great things that are ahead of us and i’m proud of

what we had done because to the entire audience here

we had dedicated communication and being open with each other even when it was really

really tough and when we needed to talk about things that we were afraid to talk about

within ourselves and we stepped into those conversations

we loved each other through it and by the end of it yes we did end up getting a divorce

and that was therapeutic and healthy for us to be able to do that

now i know that i’ve jumped around a little bit and if you’re like me and you’re a visual type person maybe

you’re creating what these images look like and what these different scenarios look like in your head so for the back and

forth and the moments of like hey i’m gonna toss back i hope the visuals in that sense are fun

for you and i hope that i’m doing a good enough job to be able to help put those visuals together so i’m gonna jump back again so

since i had my consultant company way back in my s that opened up networks

of people that saw what i was doing and were interested in doing similar things

and you know people that i’d made connections with that i would kind of coach every so often or consult on

different things for so my coaching really started way back then but i shied away from it i shied

away from being able to talk about people’s issues and stuff that they’re going through

because i had my own problems and i had no idea what was going on so

i had really been afraid to step into a coaching role

or doing anything even like this podcast that was more open and vulnerable

outside of the surface work that i had done because i was still going through and processing the stuff that i had

internally now look i’ll be honest i haven’t processed through exactly everything

but i know that i’m also a work in progress and that part of my

healing is sharing and the more that i’ve been able to share with people that i’ve coached

friends colleagues people that i come into contact with

it seems to be helpful at times and that’s really what this is about what i figured out that my life is about

really my mission statement in life that i put together a number of years ago seems to make more sense today than it

ever has my mission statement is to live a principle-centered life full of

adventure and magical moments that inspire others to live rich loving lives

and when i wrote that a couple of years ago literally during that sort of sabbatical

i intuitively wrote that then i called upon god to be able to help me with it

and the innate wisdom that’s in there and each morning when i read that and i

listen to my affirmations and i go through my meditations and i think to live a principle-centered life

that’s full of adventure and magical moments

to have a principle-centered core it’s almost like not lying to yourself

or anybody else and not having to worry about getting caught in a lie and just living principally centered

again i don’t fully do that at all times in life because i’m human

and we all mess up it’s at least a path that i’m driving on

and to live a full life of adventure and magical moments i think adventure looks different for

everybody your adventure might be hiking mine might be a great conversation

or a musical endeavor and those magical moments i truly believe are found

in each and every moment it’s for us to be aware

and understand what’s happening around us but we first

got to be able to see it and understand that there are certain times in life that are a little bit more

special than other times i want you to cherish those you know i look back at times in my life

that i didn’t really cherish things as much and i appreciate that i have those memories to be able to go back to those

and some of those special moments are very magical moments and to inspire others to live a rich

loving life that’s part of the reason for this podcast and part of the reason for me sharing

what i’m sharing i want you to live a life that is

beyond your wildest dreams i want you to live a life that is

rich be it monetarily with family whatever rich means to you

and at the core of it all i want you to know that i don’t i love you

and i don’t know who you are but i love the fact that you’re taking steps

in the right direction and i would like to include that this podcast is uh the right direction

it might sound a little egotistical i don’t mean it to but there’s purpose behind this

and there’s a mission here to be able to help people and serve people and part of that is

helping me and in turn i get to help others so i appreciate you spending the time

to be with me today and to be with us over these past handful of episodes

there’s a lot more to come and i am so honored

to uh to be able to share my story and the other stories

with you and really want to say thank you

for being here and thank you to everyone who’s been on the show and overall

thank you to everybody who’s been a part of this so far all the encouragement

all the support and i’m not talking about just the podcast but my life so far

i really appreciate everybody that’s been there you know i also appreciate the haters

the trolls i guess got to get some love too because that fire has helped

it’s been under my ass and kept me going and i hope that this podcast is something that keeps you going

i hope that there are moments that you listen to this that help you have a better

day than what you were having and helps you to get on the right path with your mindset

and this is an open line here so if you have questions you have concerns topics

you’d like us to get into or anything you want to be able to open up about please feel free to reach out

to us well i feel like this is a good time to be able to close the book on this episode

it’s interesting to think back through those situations and see those situations you know like watching that

movie not actually living in the space but watching the movie so i want to thank you for allowing me to watch that

movie again and to then be able to process through it a bit more and i hope you’ve enjoyed that movie as well the

purpose to this episode was to be able to share a bit of my background and shed some light on how i’ve gotten to this

point to be able to have this show and i hope that you’ve enjoyed the show so far and that you’ll stick with us

and i’m confident that i can speak for myself and the guests when i say that we appreciate that you have been on

the journey with us for these stories and hope that these stories and our

journeys can be a benefit and a blessing to your life and thank you again for your time today

and on that note i want to take a quick moment for a shout out of thank yous to trauma

past trauma thank you for giving the substance that we can get into

and conversation and some crazy stories that just make you laugh and can

make you cry but that’s life love it hate it whatever stay here let’s

keep rocking and rolling with it and i hope this podcast keeps you moving remember you’re loved remember that

please visit our website

and check out the youtube channel so just go to youtube and type in the mindset and self mastery show we should

pop right up and if you’ve enjoyed the episode today please jump on itunes

or google or amazon or spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts and give

us some love give us a five star review it really helps the show be found and helps others to be able to hear some of

the incredible stories that we get into and hopefully helps others live better

lives and to be able to clean up through some of the stuff that they’re going through in their minds

and again thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me and thank you for allowing me to be open and

honest and raw with you so with that remember your mindset matters

and so do you

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